The AIS elections for 2021 lacked both the hype and the drama of the other November election, but it did give us a clear picture of whom we have as officers and coordinators. This election also showed us where we need additional help.
The 2021 results are:
Officers
Chair: Eliza D will continue in this role
Vice-Chair: Helen V has volunteered for this role
Secretary: volunteer needed
Treasurer: Linda H is stepping down, and Mariann M has volunteered for this role
Coordinators
Alateen Coordinator: Kathy B
Archivist Coordinator: volunteer needed
Communications Coordinator: Cheré F
LDC Co-Coordinators: Doug L and Julie R
Outreach Coordinator: volunteer needed
Phone Volunteers Coordinator: volunteer needed
Tech Coordinator: volunteer needed
As you can see, we have many openings! For questions about the positions/job descriptions, please see the AIS Standing Rules and Procedures Manual (SRPM).
Please contact the Chair (chair@seattle-al-anon.org) or current coordinator/officer here if you are interested in a position. The outgoing coordinators/officers are available to assist and train you. No experience is required.
The 2021 results are:
Officers
Chair: Eliza D will continue in this role
Vice-Chair: Helen V has volunteered for this role
Secretary: volunteer needed
Treasurer: Linda H is stepping down, and Mariann M has volunteered for this role
Coordinators
Alateen Coordinator: Kathy B
Archivist Coordinator: volunteer needed
Communications Coordinator: Cheré F
LDC Co-Coordinators: Doug L and Julie R
Outreach Coordinator: volunteer needed
Phone Volunteers Coordinator: volunteer needed
Tech Coordinator: volunteer needed
As you can see, we have many openings! For questions about the positions/job descriptions, please see the AIS Standing Rules and Procedures Manual (SRPM).
Please contact the Chair (chair@seattle-al-anon.org) or current coordinator/officer here if you are interested in a position. The outgoing coordinators/officers are available to assist and train you. No experience is required.
Outreach committees at all levels have been very busy over the past few months. Here are some highlights:
Seattle AIS
Members continue to show interest in our new Location Liaison program. Please consider helping those who are suffering from the family disease and don’t know about Al-Anon. We encourage you to become the single point of contact to a location (e.g., a behavioral health agency, hospital, or other public places). As a single point of contact, you will be our Location Liaison for that organization. For a list of targeted behavioral health agencies and a list of other types of locations, please visit http://seattle-al-anon.org/outreach. After deciding on a location, please email us at outreach@seattle-al-anon.org to ensure that no other member has already signed up for that location and to find out more about the resources available to assist your efforts.
Our first paid digital awareness campaign ended on November 30th. The response was very impressive, according to our ad agency. We will have the actual numbers of click-throughs to report in a few days. The ads targeted 2400+ mental health professionals in King County. Due to the way algorithms work on Facebook, Instagram, and Google, many Al-Anon members, also saw the ads in their feeds. We encourage you to push the share button on those ads to increase the social media ads’ effectiveness. Please do not make comments that break your anonymity since the internet is considered press, radio, films, and TV in Al-Anon. Postcards were also mailed to the mental health professionals. The numbers will also tell us if there was a bump in our website visits after they arrived at their destination. More to come.
WA Area
WA Area, our state organization, is launching their digital ad campaign on December 1. It will include internet ads only, the kind that you see as you move around the web. Note: Area does not use social media. They target those who have shown an interest in Rehab, Detox, Alcoholism, Interventions, or Substance Abuse. It will be for internet users across WA state.
WSO
World Service Office (WSO) has a request that is contrary to what they have asked members to do in the past. They ask us NOT to contact radio and television stations and ask them to play our public service announcements (PSAs). They have contracted with a new company to send out the PSAs and to follow up with broadcasters. The new vendor will send the PSAs to all Nielsen-rated stations. They will also follow up to encourage them to play the PSAs. So the work is being done by the vendor, which frees our local volunteers to concentrate on other Outreach efforts (e.g., participating in our AIS Location Liaison program). Also, WSO is now asking us NOT to send thank you letters to stations who air our PSAs. Broadcasters have requested that we help them best utilize their internal resources in ways other than processing thank you notes.
WSO continues to ask members to “like” their social media pages and share the posts produced by WSO and AIS’s service arms. As stated above, members should not identify themselves as Al-Anon members in their comments regarding the service arm’s post. They also ask that members not create their own posts, which would imply access to information not available to a non-member. These requests are to maximize the outreach efforts of the serve arms while still following Tradition 11:
Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films, and TV. We need guard with special care the anonymity of all AA members.
Seattle AIS
Members continue to show interest in our new Location Liaison program. Please consider helping those who are suffering from the family disease and don’t know about Al-Anon. We encourage you to become the single point of contact to a location (e.g., a behavioral health agency, hospital, or other public places). As a single point of contact, you will be our Location Liaison for that organization. For a list of targeted behavioral health agencies and a list of other types of locations, please visit http://seattle-al-anon.org/outreach. After deciding on a location, please email us at outreach@seattle-al-anon.org to ensure that no other member has already signed up for that location and to find out more about the resources available to assist your efforts.
Our first paid digital awareness campaign ended on November 30th. The response was very impressive, according to our ad agency. We will have the actual numbers of click-throughs to report in a few days. The ads targeted 2400+ mental health professionals in King County. Due to the way algorithms work on Facebook, Instagram, and Google, many Al-Anon members, also saw the ads in their feeds. We encourage you to push the share button on those ads to increase the social media ads’ effectiveness. Please do not make comments that break your anonymity since the internet is considered press, radio, films, and TV in Al-Anon. Postcards were also mailed to the mental health professionals. The numbers will also tell us if there was a bump in our website visits after they arrived at their destination. More to come.
WA Area
WA Area, our state organization, is launching their digital ad campaign on December 1. It will include internet ads only, the kind that you see as you move around the web. Note: Area does not use social media. They target those who have shown an interest in Rehab, Detox, Alcoholism, Interventions, or Substance Abuse. It will be for internet users across WA state.
WSO
World Service Office (WSO) has a request that is contrary to what they have asked members to do in the past. They ask us NOT to contact radio and television stations and ask them to play our public service announcements (PSAs). They have contracted with a new company to send out the PSAs and to follow up with broadcasters. The new vendor will send the PSAs to all Nielsen-rated stations. They will also follow up to encourage them to play the PSAs. So the work is being done by the vendor, which frees our local volunteers to concentrate on other Outreach efforts (e.g., participating in our AIS Location Liaison program). Also, WSO is now asking us NOT to send thank you letters to stations who air our PSAs. Broadcasters have requested that we help them best utilize their internal resources in ways other than processing thank you notes.
WSO continues to ask members to “like” their social media pages and share the posts produced by WSO and AIS’s service arms. As stated above, members should not identify themselves as Al-Anon members in their comments regarding the service arm’s post. They also ask that members not create their own posts, which would imply access to information not available to a non-member. These requests are to maximize the outreach efforts of the serve arms while still following Tradition 11:
Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films, and TV. We need guard with special care the anonymity of all AA members.
Opening for Northwest Regional Trustee
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AIS Council Meeting Thursday, December 10th, 730p - 9p Electronic Meeting Join Zoom Meeting: Click Here Meeting ID: 839 6957 0120 Password: 001086 The AIS Council Meeting is the business meeting for the Greater Seattle Al-Anon Information Service. Each Group has a vote and is encouraged to send a representative. All Al-Anon members are invited to attend. |
This will be my last regular column for the BITS. I am a few months short of 3 years as a regular contributor, and as with the other service positions in Al-Anon, I believe in the regular rotation of volunteers.
I think of my writing for the BITS as another place to share my program in the same way I share at meetings or one-on-one. So in closing, I’d like to share my experience with the Serenity Prayer.
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Applying the Serenity Prayer is often challenging because it seems so general. There is no specific guidance on what things I cannot change, which things I should change, or how I can tell the difference.
Early in my Al-Anon journey, I heard another member share that he tailored the steps to his immediate problem. Paraphrasing the first step as “I am powerless over my relationship with my wife, and my life has become unmanageable.” Followed by “Only a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity by removing my obsessive thinking about how to make her change.”
It occurred to me that tailoring the Serenity Prayer, in the same way, might yield some useful perspectives.
God, grant me the serenity to accept my relationship with (add the person’s name here) as it is, courage to change the things I can (my attitude and actions when I see this person), and wisdom to know the difference (between what the relationship is from what I want the relationship to be).
If I say my modified Serenity Prayer before I talk to this person, I am much less likely to expect the conversation to follow my script and much less likely to try and force the other person to be what I want them to be.
Very often, when I share in a meeting with my sponsor, or even in my BITS articles, I get clarity about the subject of my share. This time the clarity showed up in the form of a question to myself: If my interactions with this person make me uncomfortable enough that I need to use my program tools, why am I still volunteering for what seems to be an unsatisfying relationship?
I was going to close with THE END, but while it’s the end of my monthly column, it’s not the end of my journey.
Keep coming back. It works!
I think of my writing for the BITS as another place to share my program in the same way I share at meetings or one-on-one. So in closing, I’d like to share my experience with the Serenity Prayer.
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Applying the Serenity Prayer is often challenging because it seems so general. There is no specific guidance on what things I cannot change, which things I should change, or how I can tell the difference.
Early in my Al-Anon journey, I heard another member share that he tailored the steps to his immediate problem. Paraphrasing the first step as “I am powerless over my relationship with my wife, and my life has become unmanageable.” Followed by “Only a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity by removing my obsessive thinking about how to make her change.”
It occurred to me that tailoring the Serenity Prayer, in the same way, might yield some useful perspectives.
God, grant me the serenity to accept my relationship with (add the person’s name here) as it is, courage to change the things I can (my attitude and actions when I see this person), and wisdom to know the difference (between what the relationship is from what I want the relationship to be).
If I say my modified Serenity Prayer before I talk to this person, I am much less likely to expect the conversation to follow my script and much less likely to try and force the other person to be what I want them to be.
Very often, when I share in a meeting with my sponsor, or even in my BITS articles, I get clarity about the subject of my share. This time the clarity showed up in the form of a question to myself: If my interactions with this person make me uncomfortable enough that I need to use my program tools, why am I still volunteering for what seems to be an unsatisfying relationship?
I was going to close with THE END, but while it’s the end of my monthly column, it’s not the end of my journey.
Keep coming back. It works!
Free Shipping Extended We are excited to help our members during this difficult time. We are continuing our sale until further notice! Free shipping and no WSO surcharge for orders that are placed and paid online. We will strive to ship orders by the Thursday after payment is received. Literature order forms are available at https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/literature.html. For easy processing, follow the instructions on the literature order forms and email LDC@seattle-al-anon.org. The office will remain closed until further notice. |
“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs” is a pretty bold statement. This Twelfth Step makes a powerful assumption about us. First, we have worked on the prior eleven steps. (We, who balked at the idea of surrender and personal reflection.) Second, we’ve had a spiritual awakening. (We, who knew better than HP what was best for the alcoholic.) And third, that we can carry the message. (We, who felt so broken before Al-Anon.) I don’t know about you, but I just love the faith this step places in us.
Completing the prior steps and arriving at Step Twelve isn’t easy, and not everyone makes it. Many have drifted from the program during their Fourth or Eighth Step or never gotten past Step One. Many never started or thought meetings alone were enough. All that is a way of saying if you’ve made it to Step Twelve, congratulations. It probably wasn’t easy. I know mine wasn’t. I had to change long-held beliefs about myself and the alcoholic. I had to admit my own life was as unmanageable as the alcoholics. I had to detach, surrender, and accept (. . . and repeat, and repeat, and repeat . . .). Not easy for a recovering control freak.
At the time, I didn’t feel like I had a spiritual awakening. But on reflection, the fact that I could change some character defects, remove some stinking thinking, and dissolve some destructive behaviors is miraculous. I’ve often thought that the program is re-wiring my brain, replacing irrational, self-centered, disease thinking with compassionate, healthy, functional thinking. Truly amazing. But our program doesn’t stop with personal growth. We are asked to share what we have been given. This may be one of the greatest strengths of our program.
My cell phone rang on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I was reluctant to pick up. I was in the middle of some minor project, and I didn’t recognize the number. I usually let those go to voicemail. But something inside encouraged me to answer. When the call ended two hours later, I was filled with gratitude. Both for the courage, it took the newcomer to call and for the opportunity to share our program’s hope. I had been given a gift that day. I connected with another human being who has been affected by this terrible disease and offer hope. And, I was reminded of how far the program had taken me, step by step.
“Nothing has done more to urge me forward than the need to carry the Al-Anon message to the families of alcoholics who are seeking a way out of their dilemma” (How Al-Anon Works, Lois’s Story, p. 160).
Completing the prior steps and arriving at Step Twelve isn’t easy, and not everyone makes it. Many have drifted from the program during their Fourth or Eighth Step or never gotten past Step One. Many never started or thought meetings alone were enough. All that is a way of saying if you’ve made it to Step Twelve, congratulations. It probably wasn’t easy. I know mine wasn’t. I had to change long-held beliefs about myself and the alcoholic. I had to admit my own life was as unmanageable as the alcoholics. I had to detach, surrender, and accept (. . . and repeat, and repeat, and repeat . . .). Not easy for a recovering control freak.
At the time, I didn’t feel like I had a spiritual awakening. But on reflection, the fact that I could change some character defects, remove some stinking thinking, and dissolve some destructive behaviors is miraculous. I’ve often thought that the program is re-wiring my brain, replacing irrational, self-centered, disease thinking with compassionate, healthy, functional thinking. Truly amazing. But our program doesn’t stop with personal growth. We are asked to share what we have been given. This may be one of the greatest strengths of our program.
My cell phone rang on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I was reluctant to pick up. I was in the middle of some minor project, and I didn’t recognize the number. I usually let those go to voicemail. But something inside encouraged me to answer. When the call ended two hours later, I was filled with gratitude. Both for the courage, it took the newcomer to call and for the opportunity to share our program’s hope. I had been given a gift that day. I connected with another human being who has been affected by this terrible disease and offer hope. And, I was reminded of how far the program had taken me, step by step.
“Nothing has done more to urge me forward than the need to carry the Al-Anon message to the families of alcoholics who are seeking a way out of their dilemma” (How Al-Anon Works, Lois’s Story, p. 160).
The Secretary Position
Most positions were filled during the 2021 AIS elections, but one position was not. According to the Greater Seattle AIS Bylaws, the secretary's duties include, but are not limited to:
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The Forum Is Looking for a New Magazine Editor
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Holding on Too Tight and My Knuckles Are White!
In my experience with loved ones who struggle with alcohol, the malignant liquid invades and distorts every aspect of our relationship. It seems to mutate the core personality and engenders deceit, denial, and betrayal. My mom has been gone for nearly 20 years. I moved her in with me and took care of her for the last few years of her life. Bittersweet memories, grabbing the small joys of daily life while letting go of the small stuff. Long anxiety-ridden drives to the hospital. I waited pensively for that call from the surgeon. Wrapping my very being around her and losing so much of myself in the process.
Recently I have landed in an agonizingly similar position—crises after crises. The tentacles of fear and hypervigilance grasp at my soul until nearly every thought orbits the alcoholic and the emergent situation. I have felt powerless to stop the absorption back into the former dysfunctional patterns that I had worked so hard to transcend. I have years of recovery and growth under my belt. I have a close and viable relationship with my Higher Power. Yet, my life has become unmanageable!
I have watched the declining effects of alcohol on loved ones over the years. It is traumatizing to witness these damaging alterations that alcohol inflicts on human beings. Experiencing burnout and that old familiar feeling of being overly involved in someone else’s life, I have become encased in chaos and confusion. This is my propensity for enmeshment! My self-care is in the commode, and my Higher Power wants better things for me. I want better things for me. I’m holding on too tight, and my knuckles are white!
It isn’t easy to “Let go and let God.” If I let go, terrible things are going to happen. If I let go, I will feel complicit as if I should have prevented it. However, I have witnessed miracles when I release my loved ones to the care of a loving God. Disasters that culminate into the perfect storm brings the alcoholic to their final bottom. Incredible healing beyond what I ever imagined possible! I am discovering that God is always at work in the background for my highest good and those I love.
Now the other side of that coin. When someone is finally alcohol free, their health and behavior improve rapidly. What if they drink again?! Detachment isn’t just for active drinking! I am sleep deprived, and I have neglected myself and my responsibilities. I have allowed someone else in the driver’s seat that was custom built for me. Where do I start? God grant me the serenity…
Recently I have landed in an agonizingly similar position—crises after crises. The tentacles of fear and hypervigilance grasp at my soul until nearly every thought orbits the alcoholic and the emergent situation. I have felt powerless to stop the absorption back into the former dysfunctional patterns that I had worked so hard to transcend. I have years of recovery and growth under my belt. I have a close and viable relationship with my Higher Power. Yet, my life has become unmanageable!
I have watched the declining effects of alcohol on loved ones over the years. It is traumatizing to witness these damaging alterations that alcohol inflicts on human beings. Experiencing burnout and that old familiar feeling of being overly involved in someone else’s life, I have become encased in chaos and confusion. This is my propensity for enmeshment! My self-care is in the commode, and my Higher Power wants better things for me. I want better things for me. I’m holding on too tight, and my knuckles are white!
It isn’t easy to “Let go and let God.” If I let go, terrible things are going to happen. If I let go, I will feel complicit as if I should have prevented it. However, I have witnessed miracles when I release my loved ones to the care of a loving God. Disasters that culminate into the perfect storm brings the alcoholic to their final bottom. Incredible healing beyond what I ever imagined possible! I am discovering that God is always at work in the background for my highest good and those I love.
Now the other side of that coin. When someone is finally alcohol free, their health and behavior improve rapidly. What if they drink again?! Detachment isn’t just for active drinking! I am sleep deprived, and I have neglected myself and my responsibilities. I have allowed someone else in the driver’s seat that was custom built for me. Where do I start? God grant me the serenity…
Enjoy Talking on the Phone or Sleeping on the Job? Seattle Al-Anon Information Service (AIS) Is Looking for Phone Volunteers! Shifts are available 7 days a week in 3-hour intervals starting at 7am during the day, and at night there is one shift starting at 10:30pm, which goes until 7am. The focus is to answer questions about Al-Anon and Alateen’s meeting times and Zoom availability, to give hope to people whose lives may be affected by someone else’s drinking, and to help others reach the appropriate source of help. A manual is provided with resource numbers and helpful suggestions on maintaining anonymity and talking to people in distress. FOR INFORMATION, PLEASE CONTACT phones@seattle-al-anon.org |
The holiday season can be a challenging time for families and friends of alcoholics, and even more so for those who have not yet found Al-Anon. The next few months will be stressful for everyone, and welcoming newcomers, especially during this time, will be important.
Following the meeting, as regulars continue to chat, it is helpful to greet the newcomers and include them. Some feel more comfortable sharing and asking questions in those informal conversations than during the meeting. New members may be concerned about their privacy and may need reassurance their need for confidentiality will be respected. Please refer to this Pre-Covid Welcoming Checklist from WSO for more ideas |
My Ever-Changing Toolbox
by Clif H
When I came to my first Al-Anon meeting some 5 years ago, I discovered a group of individuals with several maladies and behaviors similar to my own. The disease of alcoholism had impacted me. The similarities were too precise. It was indisputable. Over the years, I’ve worked the steps with my sponsor and discovered a level of serenity that was previously elusive.
In many of the meetings I’ve attended, though primarily in men’s meetings, guys talked about their ever-present bulldozer. They speak as though, pre-Al-Anon, when the going got tough, they would bring out the bulldozer, driving their chosen solution, not concerned with others' opinions, or even whether or not the proposed solution would result in the desired outcome. I used to laugh at that metaphor until recently, while speaking to my sponsor, I had my own revelation, and many of you may not believe it, but I, too, owned and wielded one.
I was recounting a personal success story from the prior week. A perfect solution to an issue dropped into my lap (some would call it an obsessive mind), though it impacted several members of my family if I were to proceed. A few years ago, working on a similar issue, I used the bulldozer well. Although all involved with that situation accepted the outcome, there were some very hurt feelings involved. As I noted to my sponsor, I’d traded in my dozer for an alternate set of tools this time. I had, without thinking about my Program, relied on a different set of tools.
It seems that I’d removed the dozer from my toolbox and refilled the space with other tools. A small tractor with a fine bucket and backhoe, communication, and empathy were there. I fired up the tractor and did the preliminary work and data gathering. Then, with a stroke of unplanned Al-Anon genius, I began considering how other people involved might feel. Oh buggers, the last time I did this, I realized that feelings were hurt that remains to this day.
I drew upon my program, thinking with this active thought, and began communicating with the other involved parties. It turned out as they considered the possibilities; they were on-board with my solution and even looked forward to the outcome. Based on the well-considered feedback, I went back to work with the backhoe and completed the work. My sponsor and I had a good laugh about the contents of my toolbox having changed and adapted to a new Al-Anon based reality.
Today I am an incredibly grateful member of Al-Anon.
In many of the meetings I’ve attended, though primarily in men’s meetings, guys talked about their ever-present bulldozer. They speak as though, pre-Al-Anon, when the going got tough, they would bring out the bulldozer, driving their chosen solution, not concerned with others' opinions, or even whether or not the proposed solution would result in the desired outcome. I used to laugh at that metaphor until recently, while speaking to my sponsor, I had my own revelation, and many of you may not believe it, but I, too, owned and wielded one.
I was recounting a personal success story from the prior week. A perfect solution to an issue dropped into my lap (some would call it an obsessive mind), though it impacted several members of my family if I were to proceed. A few years ago, working on a similar issue, I used the bulldozer well. Although all involved with that situation accepted the outcome, there were some very hurt feelings involved. As I noted to my sponsor, I’d traded in my dozer for an alternate set of tools this time. I had, without thinking about my Program, relied on a different set of tools.
It seems that I’d removed the dozer from my toolbox and refilled the space with other tools. A small tractor with a fine bucket and backhoe, communication, and empathy were there. I fired up the tractor and did the preliminary work and data gathering. Then, with a stroke of unplanned Al-Anon genius, I began considering how other people involved might feel. Oh buggers, the last time I did this, I realized that feelings were hurt that remains to this day.
I drew upon my program, thinking with this active thought, and began communicating with the other involved parties. It turned out as they considered the possibilities; they were on-board with my solution and even looked forward to the outcome. Based on the well-considered feedback, I went back to work with the backhoe and completed the work. My sponsor and I had a good laugh about the contents of my toolbox having changed and adapted to a new Al-Anon based reality.
Today I am an incredibly grateful member of Al-Anon.
In the October issue of the BITS, I reviewed the World Service Office (WSO) VHS tape, Walk This Path of Hope: Al-Anon in Institutions, about conducting Al-Anon meetings in prisons, rehab facilities, and state hospitals. After watching the video, I wanted to talk to someone who had experience in this area, someone who had accepted the dangers and fears that one might have before going into an institutional meeting for the first time. I was referred to Margaret, who is from Maryland. She is the coordinator of a group called Women of Hope. Afterward, I was introduced to a more local voice in Beth C. Both have been gracious enough to open up about their experiences. They offered invaluable information on how to start a meeting in an institution, how it feels to do so, and what they learned from it.
Can you describe how you felt before your first meeting?
Beth C: My first meeting was scary. Oh, I didn't know how I would be received. I did attend with two other male Al-Anon members and was nervous as a female inside an all-male prison.
Margaret: My first meeting was on a Sunday, and I was scared, walking through the doors closing and locking behind me. As the meeting started, as do all Al-Anon meetings, I realized these ladies are no different than me, they have the same story, but it just ended a little differently. I was able to share my story with them and they with me. I felt I was able to help someone.
How does one go about starting a meeting in a prison or institution? How are they different from typical Al-Anon meetings?
Beth C: To get the meeting started in a prison takes a lot of dedication and work. You connect with the head of the facility, who controls which groups can come in and out. Many church groups take Bible meetings into prisons. So facilities are willing to allow meetings, but they're also very cautious about the guards’ and inmates’ safety. Once you connect with the person in charge, they will let you know all the facility requirements. You and three or four other members will most likely have to attend safety meetings. I found them to be very helpful and gave me an idea of what to expect. They gave me instructions on what to do if the guard breaks up the meeting, which gave me a sense that I had protection in the meeting. I went into Airway Heights with three other Al-Anon members, and we had good, productive Al-Anon meetings.
The Al-Anon member going into a facility is there to help facilitate and ensure that it follows the Al-Anon guidelines. Only conference approved literature (CAL) is allowed. Sometimes it is a struggle for them to understand that we're not here to listen to their drug or alcohol story. Once we help guide the meeting to just the Al-Anon principles and encourage them to leave their other addictions outside the door, they start to sense how this is a self-helping program.
Margaret: One difference from typical Al-Anon meetings is that the volunteers chair the meeting each week. The prisoners then can share after the topic is started. They never chair the meeting. There is a secretary of the meeting that remains the same person from week to week. The other difference is there is no hugging and no “meeting after the meeting “ as we have in most typical in-person Al-Anon meetings.
I took over an established meeting group that had been active for several years. I am unsure how it got started, but someone knew the need for the ladies we served.
What have you learned from this experience?
Beth C: Taking Al-Anon meetings into a prison is what was called a meeting on wheels. It's where you take a meeting to somebody who can't physically come to your meeting. Many times, they turned into adult children of alcoholic meetings. Many inmates voiced how they had alcoholic parents and then turned to alcohol. They want to find a different way so that their child, who is out there on the streets, doesn't follow their path.
Taking a meeting into a facility is a gratifying experience. I have taken meetings into the Everett Juvenile Facility, Monroe Prison, and hospital detox facilities. Each facility will have its requirements and safety guidelines and regulations to follow. If you have four to six or just two or three members dedicated to carrying the message of Hope, you have a miracle and process.
The inmates treated me with respect, and they knew that if they did anything out of line, they would risk not having a meeting. They knew that their meeting was a privilege, and it could be pulled away from them at any moment. Therefore they treated all three of us with respect, and we were very appreciative and thankful that we went inside.
Once I was in, and the meeting started, I felt the comfort of being in an Al-Anon meeting.
Margaret: From this experience, I have learned that we all have similar stories and can help others anywhere by sharing our experience, strength, and hope. Also, people who are incarcerated have often been affected by someone else’s drinking, and they need to have the support of Al-Anon.
Have any stories that you’d like to share?
Beth C: I used to live in Western Washington. The AA community from the Port Angeles area got together with Al-Anon members. They started planning the first-ever AA/Al-Anon conference within the prison walls of Forks, Washington. I was the institution coordinator for the area at the time and was involved and excited to be a part of that. The prison was minimum-security. The head person for that facility believed that if you could rehabilitate the inmate inside the Forks facility, they would have a better chance when they got outside. When I walked in, a third of the room was family and Al-Anon members, and one-third were AA members, and another third were inmates.
One member at Airway Heights in Eastern Washington told me that his daughter and father and everybody he loved had written him off. His addiction and bad behavior had burned every bridge and ruined every relationship. No one would have anything to do with him.
He liked the Al-Anon program and continued to join in on the meeting. In the prison, the inmates read the opening, read the closing, and meet the sponsors. The Al-Anon members who go in are only there to sponsor the group and help keep it running smoothly.
This was the young man who I had met in Airway Heights’ Maximum Security Prison. He recognized and was excited to see me and introduced me to his father and daughter. Through his years in the prison, he continued with the Al-Anon meetings. He worked his program of recovery and rekindled relationships through letters to his family. I had no idea how powerful that one meeting was that we started so many years ago, but it had a life-changing effect on this young man. Within a month, he was due to be released. His daughter and father were there to support him upon his release.
Can you describe how you felt before your first meeting?
Beth C: My first meeting was scary. Oh, I didn't know how I would be received. I did attend with two other male Al-Anon members and was nervous as a female inside an all-male prison.
Margaret: My first meeting was on a Sunday, and I was scared, walking through the doors closing and locking behind me. As the meeting started, as do all Al-Anon meetings, I realized these ladies are no different than me, they have the same story, but it just ended a little differently. I was able to share my story with them and they with me. I felt I was able to help someone.
How does one go about starting a meeting in a prison or institution? How are they different from typical Al-Anon meetings?
Beth C: To get the meeting started in a prison takes a lot of dedication and work. You connect with the head of the facility, who controls which groups can come in and out. Many church groups take Bible meetings into prisons. So facilities are willing to allow meetings, but they're also very cautious about the guards’ and inmates’ safety. Once you connect with the person in charge, they will let you know all the facility requirements. You and three or four other members will most likely have to attend safety meetings. I found them to be very helpful and gave me an idea of what to expect. They gave me instructions on what to do if the guard breaks up the meeting, which gave me a sense that I had protection in the meeting. I went into Airway Heights with three other Al-Anon members, and we had good, productive Al-Anon meetings.
The Al-Anon member going into a facility is there to help facilitate and ensure that it follows the Al-Anon guidelines. Only conference approved literature (CAL) is allowed. Sometimes it is a struggle for them to understand that we're not here to listen to their drug or alcohol story. Once we help guide the meeting to just the Al-Anon principles and encourage them to leave their other addictions outside the door, they start to sense how this is a self-helping program.
Margaret: One difference from typical Al-Anon meetings is that the volunteers chair the meeting each week. The prisoners then can share after the topic is started. They never chair the meeting. There is a secretary of the meeting that remains the same person from week to week. The other difference is there is no hugging and no “meeting after the meeting “ as we have in most typical in-person Al-Anon meetings.
I took over an established meeting group that had been active for several years. I am unsure how it got started, but someone knew the need for the ladies we served.
What have you learned from this experience?
Beth C: Taking Al-Anon meetings into a prison is what was called a meeting on wheels. It's where you take a meeting to somebody who can't physically come to your meeting. Many times, they turned into adult children of alcoholic meetings. Many inmates voiced how they had alcoholic parents and then turned to alcohol. They want to find a different way so that their child, who is out there on the streets, doesn't follow their path.
Taking a meeting into a facility is a gratifying experience. I have taken meetings into the Everett Juvenile Facility, Monroe Prison, and hospital detox facilities. Each facility will have its requirements and safety guidelines and regulations to follow. If you have four to six or just two or three members dedicated to carrying the message of Hope, you have a miracle and process.
The inmates treated me with respect, and they knew that if they did anything out of line, they would risk not having a meeting. They knew that their meeting was a privilege, and it could be pulled away from them at any moment. Therefore they treated all three of us with respect, and we were very appreciative and thankful that we went inside.
Once I was in, and the meeting started, I felt the comfort of being in an Al-Anon meeting.
Margaret: From this experience, I have learned that we all have similar stories and can help others anywhere by sharing our experience, strength, and hope. Also, people who are incarcerated have often been affected by someone else’s drinking, and they need to have the support of Al-Anon.
Have any stories that you’d like to share?
Beth C: I used to live in Western Washington. The AA community from the Port Angeles area got together with Al-Anon members. They started planning the first-ever AA/Al-Anon conference within the prison walls of Forks, Washington. I was the institution coordinator for the area at the time and was involved and excited to be a part of that. The prison was minimum-security. The head person for that facility believed that if you could rehabilitate the inmate inside the Forks facility, they would have a better chance when they got outside. When I walked in, a third of the room was family and Al-Anon members, and one-third were AA members, and another third were inmates.
One member at Airway Heights in Eastern Washington told me that his daughter and father and everybody he loved had written him off. His addiction and bad behavior had burned every bridge and ruined every relationship. No one would have anything to do with him.
He liked the Al-Anon program and continued to join in on the meeting. In the prison, the inmates read the opening, read the closing, and meet the sponsors. The Al-Anon members who go in are only there to sponsor the group and help keep it running smoothly.
This was the young man who I had met in Airway Heights’ Maximum Security Prison. He recognized and was excited to see me and introduced me to his father and daughter. Through his years in the prison, he continued with the Al-Anon meetings. He worked his program of recovery and rekindled relationships through letters to his family. I had no idea how powerful that one meeting was that we started so many years ago, but it had a life-changing effect on this young man. Within a month, he was due to be released. His daughter and father were there to support him upon his release.
Al-Anon Mailbag |
Q: George M from Lawrence, Kansas asks, "Is Al-Anon a cult?"
A: I have heard this a few times over the years, and despite some concerns on the internet, I can assure you that Al-Anon is not a cult. 1. A cult makes it hard for the member to leave, and Al-Anon does not. You can leave at any time. 2. A cult asks/demands your money, while Al-Anon does not require payment. 3. A cult wants you to focus on someone else or a cause other than yourself, while Al-Anon wants you focus on yourself and your happiness and well being. 4. A cult usually has a charismatic leader who tries to persuade you or exploit you. In Al-Anon there are no leaders. 5. In Al-Anon, you are not required to give your name, address, or phone number. |
AIS Needs You! Current Service Opportunities *Web Editor* *Archivist Coordinator* *Tech Coordinator* *Office Volunteers* *Phone Volunteers* *Outreach Coordinator* *Secretary* If you are interested in a particular area of service, please contact chair@seattle-al-anon.org |
Al-Anon Joke of the Month
Have you heard of the Al-Anon salute? Hand on forehead in martyr position with a heavy sigh!
Do you have a funny or not so funny Al-Anon joke? Please send it along to newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org |
Would You Like to Write for the Newsletter?
Let us know at newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org Pen Names Accepted |
Ample Reserve: Eliza D opened the meeting with an overview of the past discussion and decisions about the ample reserve for AIS. She shared a PowerPoint with information on the Task Force’s recommendations and approval of a $25,000 ample reserve for AIS by the Council. There is approximately $25,000 to $30,000 above the ample reserve in the bank in CDs and the checking account.
The Task Force developed a list of potential uses for the money above the ample reserve when it met last year, and it included Outreach and other suggestions.
Discussion of the ample reserve included the following questions/comments:
· We should weigh our options and follow our objectives.
· Did the Task Force use knowledge-based decision making (KBDM) when making their recommendations? (Yes, they did.)
· The decision was reasonable, but the world has changed, and we should revisit the amount of the reserve.
· The Task Force decided on 9 months and considered that Washington Area keeps a 6-month ample reserve and WSO keeps a 12-month ample reserve. The 9-month decision falls in between these timeframes. (The Task Force considered these concerns in making their recommendation.)
· There is a list of ideas for using this money discussed by the Task Force and Council.
· Our role is to serve the community, not hang on to money. This is an unusual time, and we need to go into 2021 planning for a worst-case scenario.
· We need to be borderline cautious and be sure to have ample reserved in case we need to move and find another location.
· We don’t need to raise the amount, but don’t see a mandate to spend the money in the next year.
· Would like to make the cost of literature lower 15%–20% and take a small loss possibly.
· We need to use excess money wisely.
· Have our expenses gone up since COVID? (No, we have been in the black the whole year.)
· Would like to raise the ample reserve to $30,000 and revisit in 1 year.
· Suggestion we discuss the budget before discussing any change to the ample reserve.
Budget: Linda H shared the budget she prepared for 2021. She did not receive much input from groups. Literature sales were down in 2020 due to the pandemic, and she developed a conservative budget for 2021. Linda H gave an overview of the budget, worst-case scenario: there is an approximate $3,000 deficit.
Questions:
· Do we use Tech Soup? (Yes)
· Donations seem to be where we get our income, how much did we collect, and when? (First quarter 2020 $6,000 and quarter two $7,000. Approximately $1,200 per month, enough to stay in the black. Basics cost about $1,000 per month.)
· Linda H increased shipping costs for 2021 but did not include any income from literature shipping.
· Teresa H asked about the $1,000 outreach budget. (Linda said we would add more money if needed.)
· Would like to focus on Outreach next year, plan to budget more for this activity. (Linda H will update the outreach budget to $5,000 for 2020 before presenting the budget to the Council.)
· Is this an annual cost? (One year at a time.)
· The AIS free shipping offer is for our area. Groups outside the AIS area are welcome to order from the LDC but will pay to ship.
The Board voted to forward the budget as modified to the Council in November. There was one abstention.
Thought Force on Needs of Al-Anon members from the Deaf Community: Eliza D gave an overview of the previous discussions about the use of ASL interpreters in Al-Anon. Only one group in the Seattle area has ASL regularly. At the last Council meeting, info was shared, which included a request for seed money to pay for ASL interpreters at more than one meeting. The Thought Force is still working and received good feedback at the Council meeting. Eliza D sent an email to 8 AIS’s across the country; 7 do not provide ASL, and one provides ASL and Spanish translation at large events.
The use of ASL interpreters could fall into an outreach project. There are people from across the country attending the Sunday AM Fresh Start meeting, which has ASL translation.
The Thought Force will share more info at a future meeting. There is no money in the 2021 budget for translation.
Discussion/Questions:
· Made contact with other AIS’s. They said this is a group issue, not AIS.
· Sue Perez at WSO told Doug L this is a group responsibility, WSO does not fund.
· This is not specifically listed in the AIS objectives.
· The Standing Rules and Procedures Manual (SRPM) Mission statement and Bylaws Objectives seem to favor this type of support for our Al-Anon members. This is an opportunity to provide equity for our deaf members.
· The KBDM by the Thought Force should be looked at by the Board to determine if it meets the Bylaws and Links of Service.
· Are subtitles an option?
· This is a policy decision.
· Concern that this is very costly and will benefit only 2 people. (There are currently 6-9 deaf people attending the Sunday AM Fresh Start meeting and the Thought Force’s proposal is not just for 2 people.)
· We need clarification, lots of unknowns.
· Agree ASL is useful and supports ASL interpretation.
Eliza D said this started with a recommendation at Council, and it will come to the Board first for review before a decision is made about going to the Council for discussion.
Elections Next Month: Anyone who would like to serve is welcome to come to the Election Day meeting. Helen V volunteered for Vice-Chair in 2021, and Mariann M volunteered for Treasurer.
Communications Coordinator: Cheré F said the AIS website has info on the November elections, including the positions and descriptions.
Ample Reserve Continued: There can be a motion to Council if there is a desire to change the ample reserve. We will spend some of the reserves and will continue to discuss it at Council meetings.
There will be another Board meeting in November and a joint Board and Council meeting in December.
The ASL Thought Force can bring more information to the Board meeting in November or January.
Attendance: 13 Members
The Task Force developed a list of potential uses for the money above the ample reserve when it met last year, and it included Outreach and other suggestions.
Discussion of the ample reserve included the following questions/comments:
· We should weigh our options and follow our objectives.
· Did the Task Force use knowledge-based decision making (KBDM) when making their recommendations? (Yes, they did.)
· The decision was reasonable, but the world has changed, and we should revisit the amount of the reserve.
· The Task Force decided on 9 months and considered that Washington Area keeps a 6-month ample reserve and WSO keeps a 12-month ample reserve. The 9-month decision falls in between these timeframes. (The Task Force considered these concerns in making their recommendation.)
· There is a list of ideas for using this money discussed by the Task Force and Council.
· Our role is to serve the community, not hang on to money. This is an unusual time, and we need to go into 2021 planning for a worst-case scenario.
· We need to be borderline cautious and be sure to have ample reserved in case we need to move and find another location.
· We don’t need to raise the amount, but don’t see a mandate to spend the money in the next year.
· Would like to make the cost of literature lower 15%–20% and take a small loss possibly.
· We need to use excess money wisely.
· Have our expenses gone up since COVID? (No, we have been in the black the whole year.)
· Would like to raise the ample reserve to $30,000 and revisit in 1 year.
· Suggestion we discuss the budget before discussing any change to the ample reserve.
Budget: Linda H shared the budget she prepared for 2021. She did not receive much input from groups. Literature sales were down in 2020 due to the pandemic, and she developed a conservative budget for 2021. Linda H gave an overview of the budget, worst-case scenario: there is an approximate $3,000 deficit.
Questions:
· Do we use Tech Soup? (Yes)
· Donations seem to be where we get our income, how much did we collect, and when? (First quarter 2020 $6,000 and quarter two $7,000. Approximately $1,200 per month, enough to stay in the black. Basics cost about $1,000 per month.)
· Linda H increased shipping costs for 2021 but did not include any income from literature shipping.
· Teresa H asked about the $1,000 outreach budget. (Linda said we would add more money if needed.)
· Would like to focus on Outreach next year, plan to budget more for this activity. (Linda H will update the outreach budget to $5,000 for 2020 before presenting the budget to the Council.)
· Is this an annual cost? (One year at a time.)
· The AIS free shipping offer is for our area. Groups outside the AIS area are welcome to order from the LDC but will pay to ship.
The Board voted to forward the budget as modified to the Council in November. There was one abstention.
Thought Force on Needs of Al-Anon members from the Deaf Community: Eliza D gave an overview of the previous discussions about the use of ASL interpreters in Al-Anon. Only one group in the Seattle area has ASL regularly. At the last Council meeting, info was shared, which included a request for seed money to pay for ASL interpreters at more than one meeting. The Thought Force is still working and received good feedback at the Council meeting. Eliza D sent an email to 8 AIS’s across the country; 7 do not provide ASL, and one provides ASL and Spanish translation at large events.
The use of ASL interpreters could fall into an outreach project. There are people from across the country attending the Sunday AM Fresh Start meeting, which has ASL translation.
The Thought Force will share more info at a future meeting. There is no money in the 2021 budget for translation.
Discussion/Questions:
· Made contact with other AIS’s. They said this is a group issue, not AIS.
· Sue Perez at WSO told Doug L this is a group responsibility, WSO does not fund.
· This is not specifically listed in the AIS objectives.
· The Standing Rules and Procedures Manual (SRPM) Mission statement and Bylaws Objectives seem to favor this type of support for our Al-Anon members. This is an opportunity to provide equity for our deaf members.
· The KBDM by the Thought Force should be looked at by the Board to determine if it meets the Bylaws and Links of Service.
· Are subtitles an option?
· This is a policy decision.
· Concern that this is very costly and will benefit only 2 people. (There are currently 6-9 deaf people attending the Sunday AM Fresh Start meeting and the Thought Force’s proposal is not just for 2 people.)
· We need clarification, lots of unknowns.
· Agree ASL is useful and supports ASL interpretation.
Eliza D said this started with a recommendation at Council, and it will come to the Board first for review before a decision is made about going to the Council for discussion.
Elections Next Month: Anyone who would like to serve is welcome to come to the Election Day meeting. Helen V volunteered for Vice-Chair in 2021, and Mariann M volunteered for Treasurer.
Communications Coordinator: Cheré F said the AIS website has info on the November elections, including the positions and descriptions.
Ample Reserve Continued: There can be a motion to Council if there is a desire to change the ample reserve. We will spend some of the reserves and will continue to discuss it at Council meetings.
There will be another Board meeting in November and a joint Board and Council meeting in December.
The ASL Thought Force can bring more information to the Board meeting in November or January.
Attendance: 13 Members
November 2020 AIS Council Meeting Summary
by Roxanne T
Treasurer’s Report: Treasurer Linda H gave an overview of the current financial status. The budget continues to be in good condition for the year.
Chair’s Report: There will be an AIS Board meeting later in November. Helen V will send out a Google poll.
Elections: Eliza D asked for Board position volunteers.
Secretary – Roxanne T is stepping down, and a volunteer is needed
Treasurer – Linda H is stepping down, and Mariann M volunteered for this role
Vice-Chair – Helen V volunteered for this role
Chair - Eliza D volunteered to continue in this role
All were approved unanimously.
Coordinators:
Alateen Coordinator - Kathy B will continue as coordinator
Outreach Coordinator – Teresa H is stepping down, and a volunteer is needed
LDC Co-Coordinators – Doug L and Julie R will continue in their roles as co-coordinators
Communications Coordinator – Cheré F will continue as coordinator
Newsletter Editor– Eric G will continue in this role
Phones Volunteer Coordinator– Helen V is stepping down, and a new coordinator is needed. Susan C-H will continue as calendar sign-in tech support
Tech Coordinator – Jeff M is stepping down, and a volunteer is needed
Old Business: There will be a discussion about a proposal to increase the use of ASL in meetings at the next AIS Board meeting. Eliza D will send out the KBDM document the Thought Force developed.
2021 Budget: Linda H shared the proposed 2021 budget. In developing the budget, she was conservative on her estimates for income and generous on her estimates for expenses.
There was a discussion about the potential need for additional Alateen and ASL funding in 2021, and changes will be addressed as needed in 2021.
Teresa H moved the budget to be accepted, and Helen V seconded. The motion carried with 1 opposed.
Coordinator Reports
Outreach Coordinator: Teresa H reported that a lot is happening. The new outreach campaign kicked off on November 1 and has been getting lots of attention. It was noted that it is important to include people of color in our outreach campaign materials.
The October 17 Outreach workshop was well attended.
Teresa H noted that the World Service Office (WSO) has requested that we not contact broadcasters or send thank you notes related to public service announcements.
Washington Area has approved up to $4,000 for outreach in 2021.
LDC Co-Coordinator: Doug L reported that sales are going well and they are shipping lots of books. The sale ends on December 31, and we will discuss the possibility of extending the sale at the next Council meeting. Doug L mentioned that one Literature Distribution Center (LDC) sends out free newcomer packets.
Phone Volunteers Coordinator: Helen V reported there was a volunteer tea on October 15. There will be another in December.
Alateen Coordinator: There was no report this month.
Communications Coordinator: Cheré F reported that the Bits was phenomenal again thanks to Eric G. They are looking for someone to write articles for the Bits. Eric G (newsletter@seattle-al-anon.org) is the contact for anyone interested. They are looking at numerous websites to get ideas for additional ways of supporting newcomers with newcomer packets.
The next meeting is Thursday, December 10, and is a combined AIS Council and Board meeting.
Attendance: 28 members
Chair’s Report: There will be an AIS Board meeting later in November. Helen V will send out a Google poll.
Elections: Eliza D asked for Board position volunteers.
Secretary – Roxanne T is stepping down, and a volunteer is needed
Treasurer – Linda H is stepping down, and Mariann M volunteered for this role
Vice-Chair – Helen V volunteered for this role
Chair - Eliza D volunteered to continue in this role
All were approved unanimously.
Coordinators:
Alateen Coordinator - Kathy B will continue as coordinator
Outreach Coordinator – Teresa H is stepping down, and a volunteer is needed
LDC Co-Coordinators – Doug L and Julie R will continue in their roles as co-coordinators
Communications Coordinator – Cheré F will continue as coordinator
Newsletter Editor– Eric G will continue in this role
Phones Volunteer Coordinator– Helen V is stepping down, and a new coordinator is needed. Susan C-H will continue as calendar sign-in tech support
Tech Coordinator – Jeff M is stepping down, and a volunteer is needed
Old Business: There will be a discussion about a proposal to increase the use of ASL in meetings at the next AIS Board meeting. Eliza D will send out the KBDM document the Thought Force developed.
2021 Budget: Linda H shared the proposed 2021 budget. In developing the budget, she was conservative on her estimates for income and generous on her estimates for expenses.
There was a discussion about the potential need for additional Alateen and ASL funding in 2021, and changes will be addressed as needed in 2021.
Teresa H moved the budget to be accepted, and Helen V seconded. The motion carried with 1 opposed.
Coordinator Reports
Outreach Coordinator: Teresa H reported that a lot is happening. The new outreach campaign kicked off on November 1 and has been getting lots of attention. It was noted that it is important to include people of color in our outreach campaign materials.
The October 17 Outreach workshop was well attended.
Teresa H noted that the World Service Office (WSO) has requested that we not contact broadcasters or send thank you notes related to public service announcements.
Washington Area has approved up to $4,000 for outreach in 2021.
LDC Co-Coordinator: Doug L reported that sales are going well and they are shipping lots of books. The sale ends on December 31, and we will discuss the possibility of extending the sale at the next Council meeting. Doug L mentioned that one Literature Distribution Center (LDC) sends out free newcomer packets.
Phone Volunteers Coordinator: Helen V reported there was a volunteer tea on October 15. There will be another in December.
Alateen Coordinator: There was no report this month.
Communications Coordinator: Cheré F reported that the Bits was phenomenal again thanks to Eric G. They are looking for someone to write articles for the Bits. Eric G (newsletter@seattle-al-anon.org) is the contact for anyone interested. They are looking at numerous websites to get ideas for additional ways of supporting newcomers with newcomer packets.
The next meeting is Thursday, December 10, and is a combined AIS Council and Board meeting.
Attendance: 28 members
Thank you for your donations and for your support of AIS!
Our funding now comes primarily from:
*Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
*Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations to:
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
Donate Now
Our funding now comes primarily from:
*Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
*Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations to:
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
Donate Now