First Things First: Updating Your Groups Records
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January is an excellent time for Groups to update their information with WA Area. In the past, you may have updated the Group information with WSO, but because of updated procedures, you are now directed to make all meeting changes at the WA Area website. All changes made using the form on the WA Area site will be sent to both WSO and AIS. The WA Area is now the one-stop-shop for all changes. Please DO NOT make any changes using the WSO site including registering new meetings.
Go to wa-al-anon.org. Log in or create a login. Creating a login by registering is very easy. Then go to RESOURCES > FOR MEMBERS > MAKE MEETING CHANGES. Please note that as you click on the various buttons, a list of choices for that selection will appear. For example, if you select “ Permanent Change,” a new drop-down menu opens so you can specify the type of permanent change. This can be confusing to first-time users who might think the form will not give them an opportunity to pass along all their changes. If you need assistance, you can contact your District Representative (DR).
With all meetings being held virtually, it is extremely important to notify both AIS and WA Area of any changes to your electronic meeting information. On the WA Area home page there is even a link to a video that shows you how to make the changes. To notify AIS, please email communications@seattle-al-anon.org.
The two most common changes at the beginning of the year are the Group Representative (GR) information and the Current Mailing Address (CMA) changes. The GR information allows the DR to communicate with your Group.
The CMA is the address where WSO sends mail to your Group. Yes, WSO is still sending information to Groups during the pandemic. If USPS mail is returned to WSO as undeliverable, your Group listing will be removed from the WA Area electronic meeting finder. WSO will continue to list your physical meeting on their meeting finder, but WA Area will not. It is important to be listed on the WA Area site because numerous newcomers may find your meeting by using a browser to search by city and Al-Anon. For example, "Al-Anon Bellevue." Two of the top three results that came up in my browser directed the user to the WA Area [wa-al-anon.org] site rather than to our AIS site [seattle-al-anon.org]. Even if you are not changing your CMA, it is prudent to check whether your Group is listed on the WA Area site using their meeting finder.
While on the WA Area and AIS websites, please check to ensure that all of your meeting information is correct. The meeting length is beneficial so that attendees can plan their schedules accordingly. Is the length of the meeting correct? Is your meeting open to observers? Does it have a beginner’s meeting? Does it offer ASL interpretation?
If you have trouble figuring out how to make changes on the WA Area site, the WA Area Group-Records Coordinator would like to know about it so they can make any needed improvements. They can be reached at group-records@wa-al-anon.org.
Go to wa-al-anon.org. Log in or create a login. Creating a login by registering is very easy. Then go to RESOURCES > FOR MEMBERS > MAKE MEETING CHANGES. Please note that as you click on the various buttons, a list of choices for that selection will appear. For example, if you select “ Permanent Change,” a new drop-down menu opens so you can specify the type of permanent change. This can be confusing to first-time users who might think the form will not give them an opportunity to pass along all their changes. If you need assistance, you can contact your District Representative (DR).
With all meetings being held virtually, it is extremely important to notify both AIS and WA Area of any changes to your electronic meeting information. On the WA Area home page there is even a link to a video that shows you how to make the changes. To notify AIS, please email communications@seattle-al-anon.org.
The two most common changes at the beginning of the year are the Group Representative (GR) information and the Current Mailing Address (CMA) changes. The GR information allows the DR to communicate with your Group.
The CMA is the address where WSO sends mail to your Group. Yes, WSO is still sending information to Groups during the pandemic. If USPS mail is returned to WSO as undeliverable, your Group listing will be removed from the WA Area electronic meeting finder. WSO will continue to list your physical meeting on their meeting finder, but WA Area will not. It is important to be listed on the WA Area site because numerous newcomers may find your meeting by using a browser to search by city and Al-Anon. For example, "Al-Anon Bellevue." Two of the top three results that came up in my browser directed the user to the WA Area [wa-al-anon.org] site rather than to our AIS site [seattle-al-anon.org]. Even if you are not changing your CMA, it is prudent to check whether your Group is listed on the WA Area site using their meeting finder.
While on the WA Area and AIS websites, please check to ensure that all of your meeting information is correct. The meeting length is beneficial so that attendees can plan their schedules accordingly. Is the length of the meeting correct? Is your meeting open to observers? Does it have a beginner’s meeting? Does it offer ASL interpretation?
If you have trouble figuring out how to make changes on the WA Area site, the WA Area Group-Records Coordinator would like to know about it so they can make any needed improvements. They can be reached at group-records@wa-al-anon.org.
About Those Group Rep Meetings That You May Have Heard About
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For the past few months, Group Representatives (GRs) have had the privilege of learning their role better with help from the Washington (WA) Area Al-Anon Family Group (AFG). From October through March, weekly meetings have focused on valuable topics, such as group finances, outreach, sponsorship, the Service Manual, group conscience (KBDM), conflict resolution, and others. I spoke briefly with Melissa M, WA Area Alternate Delegate, who is leading these discussions.
Have these meetings been happening in years past, or is this something new? Will these meetings continue in the future indefinitely?
These GR Workshops (WS) are new and have never been done before. This term, I felt like our GRs were being left behind. My sponsor asked me what I was willing to do, and I decided to offer weekly workshops.
Can anyone attend? Or just Group Reps?
As I explained in my report at Fall Assembly, these are called GR WS. Since I am the WA Area Alternate Delegate, I have the honor to present the GR Circle before Assemblies. I wanted to focus on group issues. Everyone is welcome. We have GRs, District Representatives (DRs), Past Delegates (PDs), and Serve Without A Title (SWAT) members that attend.
If someone has questions about becoming a GR, who should they contact?
If someone has a question about becoming a GR, they can ask their Service Sponsor, the last GR in their meeting, their DR, or anyone on the panel would be happy to share with them. One of the reasons I love getting GRs together is for them to have the opportunity to connect.
What do you enjoy most about leading these meetings?
Leading these meetings is so humbling. I enjoy learning from everyone and what excites me the most is when a member says that they appreciate the workshops so much. It makes it all worth it! Sometimes you don't know if you are making a difference or if the service is worth it. Then you get a member who tells you they are learning so much, and it makes it all worthwhile. It is true, "you can't keep what you don't give away" and this opportunity has been such a blessing to me. I look forward to seeing everyone each week. The real leaders of these workshops are the members that show up. Without them, we have nothing!
What is the meaning of life? You don't need to answer this. 😂
The meaning of life. To be a better Melissa today than I was yesterday! I believe we all have a purpose in life; mine is presenting workshops to members so we all can share our experience, strength, and hope (ESH).
Have these meetings been happening in years past, or is this something new? Will these meetings continue in the future indefinitely?
These GR Workshops (WS) are new and have never been done before. This term, I felt like our GRs were being left behind. My sponsor asked me what I was willing to do, and I decided to offer weekly workshops.
Can anyone attend? Or just Group Reps?
As I explained in my report at Fall Assembly, these are called GR WS. Since I am the WA Area Alternate Delegate, I have the honor to present the GR Circle before Assemblies. I wanted to focus on group issues. Everyone is welcome. We have GRs, District Representatives (DRs), Past Delegates (PDs), and Serve Without A Title (SWAT) members that attend.
If someone has questions about becoming a GR, who should they contact?
If someone has a question about becoming a GR, they can ask their Service Sponsor, the last GR in their meeting, their DR, or anyone on the panel would be happy to share with them. One of the reasons I love getting GRs together is for them to have the opportunity to connect.
What do you enjoy most about leading these meetings?
Leading these meetings is so humbling. I enjoy learning from everyone and what excites me the most is when a member says that they appreciate the workshops so much. It makes it all worth it! Sometimes you don't know if you are making a difference or if the service is worth it. Then you get a member who tells you they are learning so much, and it makes it all worthwhile. It is true, "you can't keep what you don't give away" and this opportunity has been such a blessing to me. I look forward to seeing everyone each week. The real leaders of these workshops are the members that show up. Without them, we have nothing!
What is the meaning of life? You don't need to answer this. 😂
The meaning of life. To be a better Melissa today than I was yesterday! I believe we all have a purpose in life; mine is presenting workshops to members so we all can share our experience, strength, and hope (ESH).
The Statistical Interpretation of Digital Advertising (and other updates)
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Seattle AIS
The statistical results of the Seattle Al-Anon Information Service’s (AIS) first-ever paid digital awareness campaign in November indicate a successful awareness campaign gauged by industry standards. The web campaign targeted King County residents with two elements: 1) programmatic ads and 2) sponsored social media posts on Facebook. They would show up to those who are mental health professionals or those possibly interested in recovery.
The programmatic ads were served to over 128K people! A total of 578 individuals then went to our Meetings pages! The social media ads were served to over 158K people! That resulted in 448 people clicking through to our meeting schedules. In total, more than 1,000 people went to one of our meeting pages! Our ad agency representative noted: “Great to see that people are drawn to the meetings pages to find their local meeting schedule and locations.”
Our website traffic supports those statistics. It indicated that our web traffic was up over 6% during the campaign. Outreach is all about raising awareness of Al-Anon. It appears that the digital campaign, along with the postcards that were sent to over 2,400 mental health professionals, was effective. Many groups have also reported an uptick in newcomers. Of course, there is always an uptick in November and December, so it is impossible to know if the newcomers had seen our digital messaging. As many of us know, Outreach is often about planting a seed. Someone might see our ad now and remember Al-Anon years later when they are ready to try a meeting.
Outreach has also received some inquiries from mental health professionals and those referred by them.
The Outreach Committee is now researching and, hopefully, initiating a campaign utilizing free advertising that is available to us as a registered non-profit. If you are familiar with Google Grants and would like to volunteer to help the committee, please email outreach@seattle-al-anon.org.
We are still looking for members to volunteer as a Location Liaison, the single point of contact at a location, or for a variety of other Outreach activities that can be performed during the pandemic. We are creating a list of options for volunteers.
The Literature Distribution Center (LDC) will mail Newcomer Packets (K-10) to any newcomer in our AIS area. Please post information about this in your meeting chat windows. The newcomer just needs to email their name and address to LDC@seattle-al-anon.org. The cost of the packets and their mailing will be paid from our Outreach budget.
We are also looking for a new Outreach Coordinator. Please email chair@seattle-al-anon.org if you are interested in volunteering for that role. To learn more about what is involved in the position, you can contact Teresa H at outreach@seattle-al-anon.org and check out the position’s description in the Standing Rules and Procedures Manual (SRPM) on our website.
Washington Area
Washington Area has ordered three banners that can be used by any Al-Anon service arm at trade shows, fairs, and other public events. Because those aren’t happening now, there is also the opportunity to place them in locations such as hospital lobbies, recovery center lobbies, and the like. If you have a location where you would like to place a banner, please contact outreach@wa-al-anon.org.
Washington Area is in the midst of its first programmatic digital awareness campaign. It targets internet users across WA state who have shown an interest in Intervention, Rehab, Detox, Substance Abuse, and Alcoholism. The first 10 days of the December campaign were so inspiring, the WA Area Outreach Task Force decided to run another campaign during the first three weeks of January.
The statistical results of the Seattle Al-Anon Information Service’s (AIS) first-ever paid digital awareness campaign in November indicate a successful awareness campaign gauged by industry standards. The web campaign targeted King County residents with two elements: 1) programmatic ads and 2) sponsored social media posts on Facebook. They would show up to those who are mental health professionals or those possibly interested in recovery.
The programmatic ads were served to over 128K people! A total of 578 individuals then went to our Meetings pages! The social media ads were served to over 158K people! That resulted in 448 people clicking through to our meeting schedules. In total, more than 1,000 people went to one of our meeting pages! Our ad agency representative noted: “Great to see that people are drawn to the meetings pages to find their local meeting schedule and locations.”
Our website traffic supports those statistics. It indicated that our web traffic was up over 6% during the campaign. Outreach is all about raising awareness of Al-Anon. It appears that the digital campaign, along with the postcards that were sent to over 2,400 mental health professionals, was effective. Many groups have also reported an uptick in newcomers. Of course, there is always an uptick in November and December, so it is impossible to know if the newcomers had seen our digital messaging. As many of us know, Outreach is often about planting a seed. Someone might see our ad now and remember Al-Anon years later when they are ready to try a meeting.
Outreach has also received some inquiries from mental health professionals and those referred by them.
The Outreach Committee is now researching and, hopefully, initiating a campaign utilizing free advertising that is available to us as a registered non-profit. If you are familiar with Google Grants and would like to volunteer to help the committee, please email outreach@seattle-al-anon.org.
We are still looking for members to volunteer as a Location Liaison, the single point of contact at a location, or for a variety of other Outreach activities that can be performed during the pandemic. We are creating a list of options for volunteers.
The Literature Distribution Center (LDC) will mail Newcomer Packets (K-10) to any newcomer in our AIS area. Please post information about this in your meeting chat windows. The newcomer just needs to email their name and address to LDC@seattle-al-anon.org. The cost of the packets and their mailing will be paid from our Outreach budget.
We are also looking for a new Outreach Coordinator. Please email chair@seattle-al-anon.org if you are interested in volunteering for that role. To learn more about what is involved in the position, you can contact Teresa H at outreach@seattle-al-anon.org and check out the position’s description in the Standing Rules and Procedures Manual (SRPM) on our website.
Washington Area
Washington Area has ordered three banners that can be used by any Al-Anon service arm at trade shows, fairs, and other public events. Because those aren’t happening now, there is also the opportunity to place them in locations such as hospital lobbies, recovery center lobbies, and the like. If you have a location where you would like to place a banner, please contact outreach@wa-al-anon.org.
Washington Area is in the midst of its first programmatic digital awareness campaign. It targets internet users across WA state who have shown an interest in Intervention, Rehab, Detox, Substance Abuse, and Alcoholism. The first 10 days of the December campaign were so inspiring, the WA Area Outreach Task Force decided to run another campaign during the first three weeks of January.
What Was Al-Anon Like in the 1980s?
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My Father had recommended that I go to Al-Anon years before I got here. I only came because I hit my bottom and my sister, who was the 4th member of my family to go to Alcoholics Anonymous, told me that I “was doomed” if I did not go to Al-Anon. I was so distraught that my colleague looked up Al-Anon in the phone book and dialed the rotary telephone for me.
I went to the Al-Anon Fellowship Hall in Concord, CA, for my first Al-Anon meeting: a Candlelight meeting (with candles and numerous people smoking cigarettes). I was given (or picked off the table) what was the “Newcomer Packet” of the day: our sole questionnaire, Are You Troubled by Someone’s Drinking? Al-Anon Is for You!, the Detachment bookmark, and a copy of Just for Today.
That first night, I read Alcoholism, A Merry Go Round Called Denial and was able to buy my first, now fragile, One Day at a Time in Al-Anon (ODAT), Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism, and Living with an Alcoholic with the Help of Al-Anon. These were then a third of the books Al-Anon put out at the time. Being an avid reader, it wasn’t long before I had everything that Al-Anon published.
We ordered our literature right from Al-Anon’s World Service Office (WSO) in New York. We supplemented our Conference Approved Literature (CAL) with the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and their Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. It’s easy to see how I could serve as Literature Chairman for our District and feel that I knew each piece of literature inside-out. It’s hard to believe that our literature has expanded to the point where we’ve now over 30 books, including multiple daily readers; Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions books, which focus on transforming our losses, Al-Anon Adult Children, and intimacy.
A short while after I joined the program, a book came out that revolutionized my world and catapulted many of us to the next level. It's hard to believe that there was a day when our program did not have literature or meetings with a “special focus,” such as Al-Anon Adult Children (AAC).
I remember clearly the fear and trepidation we had in meeting, forming, and deciding that AAC had to be part of Al-Anon. After some time, we wanted to register with New York, and we took a Group Conscience to call ourselves “Adult Children of Alcoholics.” We were thrilled with the name we came up with for our group. Unfortunately, my memory was that in the mid-1980s, we (AFG) were threatened to be sued because we were told that a different group had registered the term Adult Children of Alcoholics. We were to cease and desist calling ourselves by that term.
Then, as now, it was confusing to me that ACA was a term that would be trademarked or registered any more than the term Alcoholic. I believe that our Higher Power works through our Group Conscience. It seems plausible that our Higher Power spoke to many groups and individuals and led us to expand our Al-Anon/Alateen focus to be inclusive. After years of calling ourselves ACA, we began using the term Al-Anon Adult Children of Alcoholics. It would be more than a decade before Al-Anon released From Survival to Recovery: Growing Up in an Alcoholic Home. Our collective awareness continued to expand as we became more aware of those in our community.
In the early 1980s as an Alateen sponsor, I was approached by the younger people in the Alateen group who wanted their own group, which they formed and initially called themselves “Ala-tot” but quickly settled upon “Preteens.” Their ages ranged from 5 to 11, with the adjacent Alateen group having Al-Anon members whose ages were 11 to 19. It was a vibrant recovery community with Al-Anon, Alateen, and Alcoholics Anonymous all meeting at the same location.
When I have traveled, my experience has been that like individual Al-Anon members, our groups may have a different feeling or tone, depending upon where they are, yet the skeleton of Al-Anon/Alateen remains the same.
Al-Anon headquarters moved from New York City to Virginia Beach and has thrived with that transition. Al-Anon/Alateen is the same because we encourage newcomers to go to 5 or 6 meetings before deciding if Al-Anon/Alateen is for them. We then (as now) learned to focus on ourselves: that we did not cause the alcoholism, we can’t control it, and we can’t cure it. We come to awareness and acceptance, leading us to the right actions to cease our behaviors and attitudes that may contribute to the disease.
There is virtually no area of my life in which being an active member of Al-Anon/Alateen has not positively benefited me. I cannot imagine a life without Al-Anon and am eternally grateful for it.
I went to the Al-Anon Fellowship Hall in Concord, CA, for my first Al-Anon meeting: a Candlelight meeting (with candles and numerous people smoking cigarettes). I was given (or picked off the table) what was the “Newcomer Packet” of the day: our sole questionnaire, Are You Troubled by Someone’s Drinking? Al-Anon Is for You!, the Detachment bookmark, and a copy of Just for Today.
That first night, I read Alcoholism, A Merry Go Round Called Denial and was able to buy my first, now fragile, One Day at a Time in Al-Anon (ODAT), Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism, and Living with an Alcoholic with the Help of Al-Anon. These were then a third of the books Al-Anon put out at the time. Being an avid reader, it wasn’t long before I had everything that Al-Anon published.
We ordered our literature right from Al-Anon’s World Service Office (WSO) in New York. We supplemented our Conference Approved Literature (CAL) with the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and their Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. It’s easy to see how I could serve as Literature Chairman for our District and feel that I knew each piece of literature inside-out. It’s hard to believe that our literature has expanded to the point where we’ve now over 30 books, including multiple daily readers; Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions books, which focus on transforming our losses, Al-Anon Adult Children, and intimacy.
A short while after I joined the program, a book came out that revolutionized my world and catapulted many of us to the next level. It's hard to believe that there was a day when our program did not have literature or meetings with a “special focus,” such as Al-Anon Adult Children (AAC).
I remember clearly the fear and trepidation we had in meeting, forming, and deciding that AAC had to be part of Al-Anon. After some time, we wanted to register with New York, and we took a Group Conscience to call ourselves “Adult Children of Alcoholics.” We were thrilled with the name we came up with for our group. Unfortunately, my memory was that in the mid-1980s, we (AFG) were threatened to be sued because we were told that a different group had registered the term Adult Children of Alcoholics. We were to cease and desist calling ourselves by that term.
Then, as now, it was confusing to me that ACA was a term that would be trademarked or registered any more than the term Alcoholic. I believe that our Higher Power works through our Group Conscience. It seems plausible that our Higher Power spoke to many groups and individuals and led us to expand our Al-Anon/Alateen focus to be inclusive. After years of calling ourselves ACA, we began using the term Al-Anon Adult Children of Alcoholics. It would be more than a decade before Al-Anon released From Survival to Recovery: Growing Up in an Alcoholic Home. Our collective awareness continued to expand as we became more aware of those in our community.
In the early 1980s as an Alateen sponsor, I was approached by the younger people in the Alateen group who wanted their own group, which they formed and initially called themselves “Ala-tot” but quickly settled upon “Preteens.” Their ages ranged from 5 to 11, with the adjacent Alateen group having Al-Anon members whose ages were 11 to 19. It was a vibrant recovery community with Al-Anon, Alateen, and Alcoholics Anonymous all meeting at the same location.
When I have traveled, my experience has been that like individual Al-Anon members, our groups may have a different feeling or tone, depending upon where they are, yet the skeleton of Al-Anon/Alateen remains the same.
Al-Anon headquarters moved from New York City to Virginia Beach and has thrived with that transition. Al-Anon/Alateen is the same because we encourage newcomers to go to 5 or 6 meetings before deciding if Al-Anon/Alateen is for them. We then (as now) learned to focus on ourselves: that we did not cause the alcoholism, we can’t control it, and we can’t cure it. We come to awareness and acceptance, leading us to the right actions to cease our behaviors and attitudes that may contribute to the disease.
There is virtually no area of my life in which being an active member of Al-Anon/Alateen has not positively benefited me. I cannot imagine a life without Al-Anon and am eternally grateful for it.
Need a Free Newcomers Packet?Anyone local to Seattle who is a newcomer and wants an individual newcomer packet (or in Spanish too!), please send an email to LDC@seattle-al-anon.org with the name and mailing address.
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AIS Council Meeting Thursday, January 14th, 730p - 9p Electronic Meeting Join Zoom Meeting: Click Here Meeting ID: 839 6957 0120 Password: 001086 The AIS Council Meeting is the business meeting for the Greater Seattle Al-Anon Information Service. Each Group has a vote and is encouraged to send a representative. All Al-Anon members are invited to attend. |
Happy New Skills!
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As a page in the calendar turns, so do my thoughts for a better year ahead. I think most would agree that 2020 was a challenge. I sincerely hope that 2021 brings opportunities to meet in-person again, deepen my program, and maybe even learn a new skill.
I learned a new skill when I was forty: swimming. This skill is usually learned much younger. Before then, I would only dog paddle or variations thereof. But, at a ripe age, I learned to swim for real: side breathing, targeted arm strokes, efficient kicking, the whole 25 yards. Shortly before then, I drove my daughter and her sister’s swim team members to practice at 5:00 am every morning. Each day I sat in the bleachers reading or otherwise occupying my time. In addition to the kid’s team, there was a Masters’ swim team: adults who shared a pool and coach. They looked like true athletes. Most had been swimming their entire lives. Some were even triathletes. Then there was me; overweight, a self-described artsy type, and definitely not an athlete. It was in that setting that the coach climbed the bleachers toward me. I stood as he approached. He put his hands on my shoulders and said, “Champ, I think it’s time you joined the Masters.” The kids put him up to it.
“What?” “Me?” “But!” I said in shock. “No, buts!” he said. I started with bubble bobs at the side of the pool, just like the 5-year-olds. Learning this new skill was hard. All the other swimmers swam in circles around me. I felt inferior, more like a beachball in a Speedo than an athlete. But, eventually, I learned the basics. Swimming got easier. I lost weight and gained a new skill that would stay with me throughout my lifetime. The same is true for the skills I’ve learned in Al-Anon.
At first, Al-Anon was hard. I cried a lot. I didn’t understand. I just wanted the alcoholic to change. I thought that would change my fear, guilt, anxiety, grief, and anger. I had been frantically dog-paddling through the rough waters of alcoholism, and I was drowning.
Meetings were the only place I felt sane. So, I kept attending. I started practicing the program earnestly. I got a sponsor, worked the steps, volunteered, listened, and sponsored. Gradually, I began to learn an entirely new skill set. I learned to keep the focus on myself, detach with love, look at my part, admit when I was wrong, not take things personally, and so much more! My life got easier.
My old survival skills had kept me safe at the expense of my serenity and those around me. My new skills gave me perspective, strength, and hope. I am so grateful to the members who came before me. Thanks to these “Masters,” my life today looks nothing like it did before Al-Anon. Although far from perfect, my life is going swimmingly.
I learned a new skill when I was forty: swimming. This skill is usually learned much younger. Before then, I would only dog paddle or variations thereof. But, at a ripe age, I learned to swim for real: side breathing, targeted arm strokes, efficient kicking, the whole 25 yards. Shortly before then, I drove my daughter and her sister’s swim team members to practice at 5:00 am every morning. Each day I sat in the bleachers reading or otherwise occupying my time. In addition to the kid’s team, there was a Masters’ swim team: adults who shared a pool and coach. They looked like true athletes. Most had been swimming their entire lives. Some were even triathletes. Then there was me; overweight, a self-described artsy type, and definitely not an athlete. It was in that setting that the coach climbed the bleachers toward me. I stood as he approached. He put his hands on my shoulders and said, “Champ, I think it’s time you joined the Masters.” The kids put him up to it.
“What?” “Me?” “But!” I said in shock. “No, buts!” he said. I started with bubble bobs at the side of the pool, just like the 5-year-olds. Learning this new skill was hard. All the other swimmers swam in circles around me. I felt inferior, more like a beachball in a Speedo than an athlete. But, eventually, I learned the basics. Swimming got easier. I lost weight and gained a new skill that would stay with me throughout my lifetime. The same is true for the skills I’ve learned in Al-Anon.
At first, Al-Anon was hard. I cried a lot. I didn’t understand. I just wanted the alcoholic to change. I thought that would change my fear, guilt, anxiety, grief, and anger. I had been frantically dog-paddling through the rough waters of alcoholism, and I was drowning.
Meetings were the only place I felt sane. So, I kept attending. I started practicing the program earnestly. I got a sponsor, worked the steps, volunteered, listened, and sponsored. Gradually, I began to learn an entirely new skill set. I learned to keep the focus on myself, detach with love, look at my part, admit when I was wrong, not take things personally, and so much more! My life got easier.
My old survival skills had kept me safe at the expense of my serenity and those around me. My new skills gave me perspective, strength, and hope. I am so grateful to the members who came before me. Thanks to these “Masters,” my life today looks nothing like it did before Al-Anon. Although far from perfect, my life is going swimmingly.
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Step One
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable. 
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Free Shipping Extended (again)! We are excited to help our members (within districts 14-22) during this difficult time. We are continuing our sale until MARCH 31st. Free shipping and no WSO surcharge for orders that are placed and paid online. We will strive to ship orders by the Thursday after payment is received. Literature order forms are available at https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/literature.html. For easy processing, follow the instructions on the literature order forms and email LDC@seattle-al-anon.org. The office will remain closed until further notice. |
Recognizing My Insanity |
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Alcoholics tend to be mired in denial and build their lives around that façade. It is sometimes hard for me to distinguish reality when the alcoholics in my life consistently question my perception. The more contact I have, the more I find myself stumbling into the shadows of denial. I am so tired of ending up in the same painful place of exhaustion and confusion. Am I doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?
After an extreme health crisis, my loved one quit drinking for several weeks. Medical professionals told them that they had a second chance at life. It seemed that God had brought all these circumstances together for the alcoholic to hit bottom. I became even more obsessed with the alcoholic and whether they were drinking or not. Their words or actions had the power of a rogue wave to crash through my boundaries and pull my feet out from under me.
The Al-Anon pamphlet, Alcoholism: A Merry-Go-Round Named Denial (P-3), states: “There is no one way all alcoholics act while intoxicated; but they are not rational or sensible, they are not responsible” (1968). These are predictable behaviors that occur with frequent alcohol use. Yet, I am still caught off guard when I witness them. The alcoholic’s rage and insults still pierce my heart. The daunting task of detachment seems unattainable.
It is hard to believe that I hold the key to my freedom. The battle is within. If I set out to disengage from the alcoholic, it feels unloving. I have conflicting feelings of fear and guilt when I try to make choices that enhance my life. I run back toward the low ceiling fan, hoping this time I don’t get cut. Unfortunately, I have a high tolerance for emotional pain. What will it take for me to finally hit bottom?
I am not responsible for the alcoholic’s behavior or decisions. I am responsible for my behavior and choices. It is healthy to limit my exposure to intoxicated people and unacceptable behavior. It is good to let adults face the consequences of their actions and not attempt to rescue them.
One day at a time, my path will be revealed. As I negotiate the minefield of challenges, perhaps I will find my footing on higher ground. As I become willing to let go of lost dreams, I will become increasingly open to new ones. I want to move beyond mere survival and thrive. In 2021, I will endeavor to take what I need and leave the rest.
After an extreme health crisis, my loved one quit drinking for several weeks. Medical professionals told them that they had a second chance at life. It seemed that God had brought all these circumstances together for the alcoholic to hit bottom. I became even more obsessed with the alcoholic and whether they were drinking or not. Their words or actions had the power of a rogue wave to crash through my boundaries and pull my feet out from under me.
The Al-Anon pamphlet, Alcoholism: A Merry-Go-Round Named Denial (P-3), states: “There is no one way all alcoholics act while intoxicated; but they are not rational or sensible, they are not responsible” (1968). These are predictable behaviors that occur with frequent alcohol use. Yet, I am still caught off guard when I witness them. The alcoholic’s rage and insults still pierce my heart. The daunting task of detachment seems unattainable.
It is hard to believe that I hold the key to my freedom. The battle is within. If I set out to disengage from the alcoholic, it feels unloving. I have conflicting feelings of fear and guilt when I try to make choices that enhance my life. I run back toward the low ceiling fan, hoping this time I don’t get cut. Unfortunately, I have a high tolerance for emotional pain. What will it take for me to finally hit bottom?
I am not responsible for the alcoholic’s behavior or decisions. I am responsible for my behavior and choices. It is healthy to limit my exposure to intoxicated people and unacceptable behavior. It is good to let adults face the consequences of their actions and not attempt to rescue them.
One day at a time, my path will be revealed. As I negotiate the minefield of challenges, perhaps I will find my footing on higher ground. As I become willing to let go of lost dreams, I will become increasingly open to new ones. I want to move beyond mere survival and thrive. In 2021, I will endeavor to take what I need and leave the rest.
Honest Anonymous Reactions About the Al-Anon App
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The official Al-Anon AFG mobile app was released earlier this year. I think we all want it to go well. but according to many reviews online, and fellow members, it does not seem to be going very well. If you have not done so, please download it yourself at the above locations, or here.
Curiosity struck me, and I asked 10 Al-Anon members this question: "Have you tried the Al-Anon app yet? What do you think of it?" and here are the responses I have received so far. If you'd like to let us know what you think of the new app, we would love to hear from you! Please contact us at newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org.
"Can't read any posts because of 'Internal Server Error'"
"I haven't tried it for awhile because it was horrible"
"I'm hoping with the updates that it has gotten better but the continuous crashes has not helped."
"I am honestly hoping it will improve and be an asset for our membership."
"They had a glitch when it started so I basically abandoned it. Too bad. They have put a ton of time, effort, and money into it."
"Apps are really hard. The library discontinued their app because it was too much work and too much money."
"Maybe we can call it a work in progress, or progress not perfection?"
"I'm good with it. But it is naive to think any of the data (video or audio) is forsaken. I think there are real issues with anonymity. That said I've completely acclimated to it and open up with no hesitation."
Curiosity struck me, and I asked 10 Al-Anon members this question: "Have you tried the Al-Anon app yet? What do you think of it?" and here are the responses I have received so far. If you'd like to let us know what you think of the new app, we would love to hear from you! Please contact us at newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org.
"Can't read any posts because of 'Internal Server Error'"
"I haven't tried it for awhile because it was horrible"
"I'm hoping with the updates that it has gotten better but the continuous crashes has not helped."
"I am honestly hoping it will improve and be an asset for our membership."
"They had a glitch when it started so I basically abandoned it. Too bad. They have put a ton of time, effort, and money into it."
"Apps are really hard. The library discontinued their app because it was too much work and too much money."
"Maybe we can call it a work in progress, or progress not perfection?"
"I'm good with it. But it is naive to think any of the data (video or audio) is forsaken. I think there are real issues with anonymity. That said I've completely acclimated to it and open up with no hesitation."
What Does the New Year Even Mean?
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It is now the year 2021, a time many of us have looked forward to being a panacea for all of our problems. But what does that mean that we are no longer in the year 2020? Which calendar are we even using? Many cultures differ in how they keep track of dates and years. There is the Chinese New Year, the Islamic New Year, the Jewish New Year to keep in mind, and they're all different. Is the last day of the year inherently better than the first day of the year? No, it isn't.
As we all know from this program, it has been preferable to keep it One Day at a Time. However, I think psychologically, the new year turns a page for all of us. This next page has yet to be written, and it’s filled with hope for a much better world. We already know what happened in 2020 and, in our minds, it can’t get much worse. But as we know from this program, and why we’re here, and the alcoholics in our lives, we know that it CAN get much worse. But what we have learned is not to focus on the bad and to focus on ourselves, for our own sanity...so as not to drive ourselves crazy. We cannot control everything.
When Teresa H asked me to be the Newsletter Editor right before the pandemic started, my first reaction was, of course, a hard no, which is a common first response. However, I feel this role has kept me in the program and helped keep me sane. So, thank you for letting me serve, as the program has served me well. I too welcome the new year, but it’s really just another day in the program.
As we all know from this program, it has been preferable to keep it One Day at a Time. However, I think psychologically, the new year turns a page for all of us. This next page has yet to be written, and it’s filled with hope for a much better world. We already know what happened in 2020 and, in our minds, it can’t get much worse. But as we know from this program, and why we’re here, and the alcoholics in our lives, we know that it CAN get much worse. But what we have learned is not to focus on the bad and to focus on ourselves, for our own sanity...so as not to drive ourselves crazy. We cannot control everything.
When Teresa H asked me to be the Newsletter Editor right before the pandemic started, my first reaction was, of course, a hard no, which is a common first response. However, I feel this role has kept me in the program and helped keep me sane. So, thank you for letting me serve, as the program has served me well. I too welcome the new year, but it’s really just another day in the program.
Enjoy Talking on the Phone or Sleeping on the Job? Seattle Al-Anon Information Service (AIS) Is Looking for Phone Volunteers! Shifts are available 7 days a week in 3-hour intervals starting at 7am during the day, and at night there is one shift starting at 10:30pm, which goes until 7am. The focus is to answer questions about Al-Anon and Alateen’s meeting times and Zoom availability, to give hope to people whose lives may be affected by someone else’s drinking, and to help others reach the appropriate source of help. A manual is provided with resource numbers and helpful suggestions on maintaining anonymity and talking to people in distress. FOR INFORMATION, PLEASE CONTACT phones@seattle-al-anon.org |
The holiday season can be a challenging time for families and friends of alcoholics, and even more so for those who have not yet found Al-Anon. The next few months will be stressful for everyone, and welcoming newcomers, especially during this time, will be important.
Following the meeting, as regulars continue to chat, it is helpful to greet the newcomers and include them. Some feel more comfortable sharing and asking questions in those informal conversations than during the meeting. New members may be concerned about their privacy and may need reassurance their need for confidentiality will be respected. Please refer to this Pre-COVID Welcoming Checklist from WSO for more ideas |
My Hummingbird Feeder
by Andrew M
As I sat down with my coffee and breakfast this morning to do my readings and meditation, I looked out my back window at my hummingbird feeders. I had just filled them yesterday, something that always brings me a bit of angst. Did I get the ratios correct, is the mix I made too strong or too weak? There are only two ingredients – water and the mix. I spent some time searching for a qualified product that would provide the nourishment they need knowing some out there will not. So, I know my feeders will likely be a key source of sustenance for those little birds. Irrationally, I take personal responsibility for them. Then it hit me – I realized it was my irrationality taking responsibility for my adult son’s life and drinking is precisely what brought me to Al-Anon.
It is winter, and I didn’t realize that hummingbirds hang around during this cold, wet weather. I looked out and was amazed to see one of them descend on one of my feeders and on the 17th of December! Seeing that amazing little bird gave me a reason to reflect on my situation. That little bird, from the drab coloring a female, I think, was cautious. She came in close, hovered, pivoted left and right, zoomed away, then came in to alight and drink quickly for one or two seconds before zooming out again. I have seen two hummingbirds drinking from my feeders and competing, one appearing to chase the other away, even when there is access for both. Even though I watch and feel responsible, she doesn’t know that and isn’t affected by my feelings in any way. She doesn’t know or care that I watch and worry, just like my son.
I drew some conclusions about my life watching this little aerial ballet. The hummingbird lacks any real defensive ability other than to fly away – how I could identify! I thought of how I feel about conflict and how I feel when my alcoholic son wants to engage with me. I have learned to “fly away” from many things. Those little birds are so powerless over any of the threats they perceive, real or otherwise, and they can fly away so quickly and just ‘be gone’ that they use that ability, I am sure, without any conscious thought. How many times in my life have I “flown away” from something I perceived to be a threat or that I wanted to avoid without any conscious thought I was doing that?
Those little birds found my feeders, and now they depend on them for part of their daily routine. I now recognize that my daily reading of Al-Anon conference approved literature and attendance at meetings when I can are things that I need to live and to have a happy, serene life. Flying away is not the only tool I have.
The hummingbirds keep coming back to the feeders, and it is what they need to live. I keep coming back, and it is what I need to live.
It is winter, and I didn’t realize that hummingbirds hang around during this cold, wet weather. I looked out and was amazed to see one of them descend on one of my feeders and on the 17th of December! Seeing that amazing little bird gave me a reason to reflect on my situation. That little bird, from the drab coloring a female, I think, was cautious. She came in close, hovered, pivoted left and right, zoomed away, then came in to alight and drink quickly for one or two seconds before zooming out again. I have seen two hummingbirds drinking from my feeders and competing, one appearing to chase the other away, even when there is access for both. Even though I watch and feel responsible, she doesn’t know that and isn’t affected by my feelings in any way. She doesn’t know or care that I watch and worry, just like my son.
I drew some conclusions about my life watching this little aerial ballet. The hummingbird lacks any real defensive ability other than to fly away – how I could identify! I thought of how I feel about conflict and how I feel when my alcoholic son wants to engage with me. I have learned to “fly away” from many things. Those little birds are so powerless over any of the threats they perceive, real or otherwise, and they can fly away so quickly and just ‘be gone’ that they use that ability, I am sure, without any conscious thought. How many times in my life have I “flown away” from something I perceived to be a threat or that I wanted to avoid without any conscious thought I was doing that?
Those little birds found my feeders, and now they depend on them for part of their daily routine. I now recognize that my daily reading of Al-Anon conference approved literature and attendance at meetings when I can are things that I need to live and to have a happy, serene life. Flying away is not the only tool I have.
The hummingbirds keep coming back to the feeders, and it is what they need to live. I keep coming back, and it is what I need to live.
Tradition One Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity. |
Al-Anon Slogan Crossword
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Al-Anon Mailbag
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Matt R from Rainier Beach asks, "Are there any Al-Anon movies that you can recommend?"
A: I'm not sure that I can, and I've been searching for quite a while now. I know that there was a Lois Wilson movie that came out about 10 years ago (starring Winona Ryder as Lois), to mixed reviews, but have not seen it. I've seen Al-Anon mentioned a few times in a few TV shows, but nothing that is really about Al-Anon, or from the point of view of an Al-Anon member. As you may guess, there are dozens more films about the other side of the coin (A.A.) than there are Al-Anon. I guess our lives aren't considered that exciting by Hollywood standards? I also found this Al-Anon DVD rental form. |
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AIS Needs You! Current Service Opportunities *Web Editor* *Tech Coordinator* *Office Volunteers* *Phone Volunteers* *Outreach Coordinator* *Secretary* If you are interested in a particular area of service, please contact chair@seattle-al-anon.org |
Al-Anon Joke of the Month
How many Al-Anon’s does it take to change a light bulb? 
None. We just keep flipping the switch saying “This time it will work, this time it will work”.
Do you have a funny or not so funny Al-Anon joke? Please send it along to newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org |
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Concept One
The ultimate responsibility and authority for Al-Anon world services belongs to the Al-Anon groups. 
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Feeling Scatterbrained with Your Thoughts? It Might Help to Write Things Down.
If you ever feel like you would like to write something for the newsletter, please let us know at newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org Pen Names Accepted 
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It Was 20 Years Ago Today...
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November 2020 AIS Board Meeting Minutes
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Open AIS Positions: Eliza D reported that we might have a volunteer for the Secretary position, and we still need the Outreach, Tech, Archivist, and Phone Volunteer Coordinators.
Deaf Access Al-Anon: Eliza D gave an overview of discussions related to American Sign Language (ASL) services, an AIS Liaison to the Deaf Community, and the Thought Force on Deaf Access Al-Anon. There was an initial discussion about an ASL Coordinator and a discussion about a fund to pay for ASL with seed money from AIS to start and donations from groups to fund future needs. The Thought Force has done the KBDM and shared initial information with the AIS Board.
Laurel W added that the perspective is simple; the goal is to have the ability for Deaf members to go to meetings that they choose.
Mickey K said the group KBDM share included all comments, both supporting and not supporting ASL. The goal was to be impartial so members can make an informed decision.
Discussion/Questions:
Eliza D recapped the discussion by saying there is reluctance because this hasn’t been done before and isn’t specifically in the AIS service descriptions. Consider if the next step is to change SRPM or Bylaws. Right now, there is some positivity and some negativity in the Board discussions.
Cheré F suggested we get some feedback from our groups. We are an inclusive organization and try to have as many open meetings as possible. Nothing is quick in Al-Anon.
To get further input, it was suggested that sharing info at District meetings in the first quarter of 2021 would be helpful to discuss the role of AIS and if there is group interest in the ASL proposal. Laurel W and Phyllis S volunteered to attend District meetings.
Eliza D will discuss more with the committee members and request a 1-2 page KBDM document to take to District meetings. This will be discussed further at the January Board meeting.
Outreach Coordinator: Teresa H suggested that the Outreach Committee bring proposals for spending the money budgeted in 2021 to the Council for approval before any spending. Eliza D said the committee could make a proposal to the Council.
LDC Co-Coordinator: There has been discussion about extending the sale for free shipping and no WSO surcharge for literature until the end of March. We will discuss this at the next Council meeting.
Attendance: 15 members
Deaf Access Al-Anon: Eliza D gave an overview of discussions related to American Sign Language (ASL) services, an AIS Liaison to the Deaf Community, and the Thought Force on Deaf Access Al-Anon. There was an initial discussion about an ASL Coordinator and a discussion about a fund to pay for ASL with seed money from AIS to start and donations from groups to fund future needs. The Thought Force has done the KBDM and shared initial information with the AIS Board.
Laurel W added that the perspective is simple; the goal is to have the ability for Deaf members to go to meetings that they choose.
Mickey K said the group KBDM share included all comments, both supporting and not supporting ASL. The goal was to be impartial so members can make an informed decision.
Discussion/Questions:
- A survey of other Areas showed that this has been done in AA with great success but hasn’t been done in AIS’s.
- We have underserved members who speak other languages. This is new for Al-Anon.
- A part of the Spanish Translation Committee learned how hard it is for a volunteer translator to translate a 3-hour session.
- Need to consider how this fits into the objectives, Bylaws, and SRPM of AIS.
- Supports email address and wonders if the 711 system could support this need.
- Have there been discussions with WSO or Washington Area? (Phyllis S explained that the 711 technology is old and not used much anymore).
- A suggestion that closed captioning would be an option, but Phyllis S explained a Deaf person could not share if that were the only service provided.
- English is a second language for some Deaf folks, and ASL is the first language. It is harder to communicate in English for some Deaf members.
- It’s important we serve all communities. Al-Anon should reflect the diverse communities in which we live.
- Is this part of the AIS role? It is not explicitly identified in the AIS Bylaws or functions. We need to consider if this is part of our role.
- WSO is a tri-lingual organization: English, Spanish, and French.
- What direction do we want to go and how do we get there.
- Al-Anon is for everyone. There is a spirit within Al-Anon that supports access for all people.
- Need to address Bylaws first. We have excess money now but won’t always.
- Don’t know how many people we will serve with ASL.
- Bylaws or SRPM can be changed if we take steps to provide ASL services to enable any Deaf individual to attend a meeting.
- Changes to Bylaws take lots of notifications to groups.
- SRPM is fluid and can be changed by AIS Council.
- Inclusion is throughout our Concepts, and we could have a donation site.
- What do other AIS’s do? Some feel this is a group issue, not an AIS issue.
- WSO contact said this is a group issue.
- AIS is information services, not translation services. We don’t provide Spanish translation for anyone.
- Accessibility is an issue for everyone. Each group doesn’t print its own books.
- We need a contact for Deaf persons and options for meetings, not just Sunday Morning Fresh Start. We need to work out a way for ASL to be available.
- We need more access to meetings for the Deaf. We need this AIS to be a role model for others by supporting ASL in meetings.
- We need to include ASL and be welcoming to everyone.
Eliza D recapped the discussion by saying there is reluctance because this hasn’t been done before and isn’t specifically in the AIS service descriptions. Consider if the next step is to change SRPM or Bylaws. Right now, there is some positivity and some negativity in the Board discussions.
Cheré F suggested we get some feedback from our groups. We are an inclusive organization and try to have as many open meetings as possible. Nothing is quick in Al-Anon.
To get further input, it was suggested that sharing info at District meetings in the first quarter of 2021 would be helpful to discuss the role of AIS and if there is group interest in the ASL proposal. Laurel W and Phyllis S volunteered to attend District meetings.
Eliza D will discuss more with the committee members and request a 1-2 page KBDM document to take to District meetings. This will be discussed further at the January Board meeting.
Outreach Coordinator: Teresa H suggested that the Outreach Committee bring proposals for spending the money budgeted in 2021 to the Council for approval before any spending. Eliza D said the committee could make a proposal to the Council.
LDC Co-Coordinator: There has been discussion about extending the sale for free shipping and no WSO surcharge for literature until the end of March. We will discuss this at the next Council meeting.
Attendance: 15 members
Thank you for your donations and for your support of AIS!
Our funding now comes primarily from:
*Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
*Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations to:
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
Donate Now
Our funding now comes primarily from:
*Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
*Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations to:
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
Donate Now