Virtual Meeting News and Other Tidbits Heard at the 2021 Summer Seminar Assembly
by Cheré F
The 2021 Summer Seminar Assembly (SSA) was a great virtual success. A full weekend agenda allowed members to attend several service workshops, participate in Q&A sessions, and listen to the WA Area Delegate report on the 2021 World Service Conference (WSC). Melissa M, Area Alt. Delegate, chaired this year, and many members participated in workshop panels with wonderful presentations. Friday evening gave members a brief synopsis of the service positions at the Area level. Current officers and coordinators described the roles and responsibilities in each of the service positions. Area elections will be held in October at Fall Assembly, and this presentation encouraged current and past District Representatives to stand.
Saturday kicked off with a great workshop on conflict resolution focusing on the principles of Al-Anon to process through conflict. The presenters shared tools and examples such as presuming goodwill and honest communication. Tradition Two, Concepts Four and Five, and Warranty Three were all used to find a solution and create a plan of action. The open discussion allowed members to share where some groups might have difficulty utilizing our Traditions.
The Outreach Workshop encouraged members to continue reaching out to others through flyers and social media. The panel used helpful suggestions for members to create attractive and informative flyers through various websites or apps. These flyers can be used on websites or social media platforms for public outreach. More information can be found at https://wa-al-anon.org/ssa-2021-outreach-workshop/. Workshops such as inventory for growth, sponsorship, and a writing workshop on leadership attributes continued the rest of the day.
Kathy D, WA Area Delegate, presented her report on the 2021 World Service Conference held virtually in April. Her full report will be published in the next Washington Wanderings, but I wanted to touch on some highlights of her report.
Literature Sales:
2020 Budget: $2,225,000/ Actual: $2,317,000 (+ 82,000!!!)
2021 Budget: $2,435,900
WSO expects literature sales to recover from last year
Contributions:
Contributions exceeded revised budget by $850,720 (135%)
June 2020 ($509,000) and December 2020 ($412,000) were the largest two months.
2021 goal of $2,882,000 realistic with communication of goal to the fellowship
Contributions will need to remain consistent until literature sales return to normal levels!
Contributions from WA Area:
Percentage of groups contributing: 59.0%
Avg. donation/group: $162.30
Group donations:
2020: $41,712
2019: $34,298
Other (individuals, AIS, LDCs, Areas):
2020: $42,870
2019: $22,014
Contributions are still needed to maintain consistent revenue in 2021 as literature sales are projected to remain below historical levels.
Electronic Meetings
The WSC voted to recognize permanent electronic meetings as Al-Anon Family Groups and be included in the service structure. The Conference also decided to create a non-geographic Area; think of virtual meetings in the cloud now have their own Area. This decision also affects WA Area as the Area can now decide whether to include permanent virtual meetings as part of a local service structure. This historical change in the service structure is for permanent electronic groups that are registered with WSO. Groups meeting temporarily via electronic platforms during the pandemic are expected to eventually resume meeting in their physical locations and not need to re-register with the Area. As we begin the discussion about admitting groups that meet only electronically into the Area structure, two questions come to mind for us to consider:
1) Does our Area wish to permit groups that meet electronically to participate in our Area service structure?
2) If so, what guidelines and boundaries might our Area need to define regarding service participation in our Districts and Assemblies? What might other changes to our service structure be required?
Updating Literature
The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage will be updated with a forward that explains the book’s historical perspective. Also, WSC gave conceptual approval for a new book containing “gems” from The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage. The daily reader, One Day at a Time, will also be updated with a forward that explains the book’s historical perspective. The forwards for both pieces of literature were needed as some felt the literature was outdated, not inclusive, and had “traditional” roles not current with today’s society.
Looking Forward
Some items of interest to look forward to are the 2021 membership survey, the upcoming Al-Anon/Alateen Service Manual 2022-2025, and a newly proposed 10-year Longitudinal Study (opt-in) for members.
Members are encouraged to contact the Area Delegate at delegate@wa-al-anon.org if they have any questions or need more information.
Sunday morning started with an instructive workshop on generating enthusiasm in electronic meetings and the progression of virtual meetings. The presenters offered helpful suggestions, and there was an interesting discussion on hybrid meetings. A meeting is considered hybrid when a part of the audience is in person, and another part joins remotely, enabled by audio and video conferencing technology. Some of the challenges for a good hybrid meeting can be equipping meeting spaces with cameras, mics, speakers, and soundbars for good audio and video quality. As we continue to move forward to in-person meetings again, a hybrid mixture might become more popular in our Area. Several helpful online videos suggest a group can have a successful hybrid Zoom meeting with a little planning and preparation. Some helpful items are one laptop device to “host” the virtual meeting, a camera facing the members in the room, exterior speakers so members can hear the virtual shares, and possibly a wireless mic so zoom participants can listen to folks in the room. Virtual meeting platforms offer more tips and tricks for a great hybrid meeting.
The last workshop of the weekend was on the Al-Anon Concepts and how we can practice those principles in meetings, at home, and in the workplace. More information can be found HERE. SSA always ends with a spiritual speaker, and Ruth F was inspirational, sharing her Al-Anon recovery.
I know many WA Area Al-Anon members are hopeful for the 2022 SSA to be in person as we continue moving forward in unity, courage, and perseverance!
Saturday kicked off with a great workshop on conflict resolution focusing on the principles of Al-Anon to process through conflict. The presenters shared tools and examples such as presuming goodwill and honest communication. Tradition Two, Concepts Four and Five, and Warranty Three were all used to find a solution and create a plan of action. The open discussion allowed members to share where some groups might have difficulty utilizing our Traditions.
The Outreach Workshop encouraged members to continue reaching out to others through flyers and social media. The panel used helpful suggestions for members to create attractive and informative flyers through various websites or apps. These flyers can be used on websites or social media platforms for public outreach. More information can be found at https://wa-al-anon.org/ssa-2021-outreach-workshop/. Workshops such as inventory for growth, sponsorship, and a writing workshop on leadership attributes continued the rest of the day.
Kathy D, WA Area Delegate, presented her report on the 2021 World Service Conference held virtually in April. Her full report will be published in the next Washington Wanderings, but I wanted to touch on some highlights of her report.
Literature Sales:
2020 Budget: $2,225,000/ Actual: $2,317,000 (+ 82,000!!!)
2021 Budget: $2,435,900
WSO expects literature sales to recover from last year
Contributions:
Contributions exceeded revised budget by $850,720 (135%)
June 2020 ($509,000) and December 2020 ($412,000) were the largest two months.
2021 goal of $2,882,000 realistic with communication of goal to the fellowship
Contributions will need to remain consistent until literature sales return to normal levels!
Contributions from WA Area:
Percentage of groups contributing: 59.0%
Avg. donation/group: $162.30
Group donations:
2020: $41,712
2019: $34,298
Other (individuals, AIS, LDCs, Areas):
2020: $42,870
2019: $22,014
Contributions are still needed to maintain consistent revenue in 2021 as literature sales are projected to remain below historical levels.
Electronic Meetings
The WSC voted to recognize permanent electronic meetings as Al-Anon Family Groups and be included in the service structure. The Conference also decided to create a non-geographic Area; think of virtual meetings in the cloud now have their own Area. This decision also affects WA Area as the Area can now decide whether to include permanent virtual meetings as part of a local service structure. This historical change in the service structure is for permanent electronic groups that are registered with WSO. Groups meeting temporarily via electronic platforms during the pandemic are expected to eventually resume meeting in their physical locations and not need to re-register with the Area. As we begin the discussion about admitting groups that meet only electronically into the Area structure, two questions come to mind for us to consider:
1) Does our Area wish to permit groups that meet electronically to participate in our Area service structure?
2) If so, what guidelines and boundaries might our Area need to define regarding service participation in our Districts and Assemblies? What might other changes to our service structure be required?
Updating Literature
The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage will be updated with a forward that explains the book’s historical perspective. Also, WSC gave conceptual approval for a new book containing “gems” from The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage. The daily reader, One Day at a Time, will also be updated with a forward that explains the book’s historical perspective. The forwards for both pieces of literature were needed as some felt the literature was outdated, not inclusive, and had “traditional” roles not current with today’s society.
Looking Forward
Some items of interest to look forward to are the 2021 membership survey, the upcoming Al-Anon/Alateen Service Manual 2022-2025, and a newly proposed 10-year Longitudinal Study (opt-in) for members.
Members are encouraged to contact the Area Delegate at delegate@wa-al-anon.org if they have any questions or need more information.
Sunday morning started with an instructive workshop on generating enthusiasm in electronic meetings and the progression of virtual meetings. The presenters offered helpful suggestions, and there was an interesting discussion on hybrid meetings. A meeting is considered hybrid when a part of the audience is in person, and another part joins remotely, enabled by audio and video conferencing technology. Some of the challenges for a good hybrid meeting can be equipping meeting spaces with cameras, mics, speakers, and soundbars for good audio and video quality. As we continue to move forward to in-person meetings again, a hybrid mixture might become more popular in our Area. Several helpful online videos suggest a group can have a successful hybrid Zoom meeting with a little planning and preparation. Some helpful items are one laptop device to “host” the virtual meeting, a camera facing the members in the room, exterior speakers so members can hear the virtual shares, and possibly a wireless mic so zoom participants can listen to folks in the room. Virtual meeting platforms offer more tips and tricks for a great hybrid meeting.
The last workshop of the weekend was on the Al-Anon Concepts and how we can practice those principles in meetings, at home, and in the workplace. More information can be found HERE. SSA always ends with a spiritual speaker, and Ruth F was inspirational, sharing her Al-Anon recovery.
I know many WA Area Al-Anon members are hopeful for the 2022 SSA to be in person as we continue moving forward in unity, courage, and perseverance!
Need a Free Newcomer Packet?Anyone local to Seattle who is a newcomer and wants an individual newcomer packet (or in Spanish too!), please send an email to LDC@seattle-al-anon.org with the name and mailing address.
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AIS Council Meeting
Thursday, June 10th, 730p - 9p Electronic Meeting Join Zoom Meeting: Click Here Meeting ID: 839 6957 0120 Passcode: 001086 The AIS Council Meeting is the business meeting for the Greater Seattle Al-Anon Information Service. Each Group has a vote and is encouraged to send a representative. All Al-Anon members are invited to attend. |
The Art of the Al-Anon Flyer
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For a few years now, I have had the privilege of seeing many, many Al-Anon flyers while serving as the Events Editor for the Seattle AIS web page. I am so grateful for members who have served our fellowship by creating flyers.
I can see that how the information is put on the page and what information is included really makes a difference in whether the flyer effectively reaches those who suffer from the disease of alcoholism, regardless if they have found our rooms or not.
So let’s just say you have volunteered to create a flyer for your Group’s event or another organization (e.g., your child’s school PTO or a social or religious organization function). Where do you start? The #1 tip from my presentation at SSA last month is: Use a professionally designed template. In my experience, most members begin with a blank word document. I encourage you to start with a template instead. Using a pre-designed template will give you an incredible result and save you a ton of time and hassle since all the page elements are ready for you to customize with your specific information.
Professionally designed templates are available in several ways. One common option is to use a word template. All word programs have templates available for your use. Another option is to use a web-based design program. The internet is loaded with web-based design programs. A few examples are Canva, Crello, DesignBold, Visme, and Pixelied.
So what are the advantages and disadvantages of those two options? The main advantage of word program templates is that most of us already have a word program that contains templates on our computers. A disadvantage is the selection of templates that includes some pretty dated ones. If you choose a template that uses photographs, you will either need to have your own high-resolution photos or search for royalty-free photos on the web, download them, and then insert them into the template.
The other option, web-based design programs, are designed specifically so “anyone” can create a professional-looking flyer. The number of templates available is mind-boggling and, because it is web-based, fresh templates are added frequently. To place a photo in the flyer, the user can search from the program’s built-in selections, then drag it onto the photo spot in the template. You can be pretty sure that it will be the right resolution, and the program will automatically resize it. As for disadvantages, I didn’t find many of importance. Of course, as with anything new, there is a bit of a learning curve. For me, it was no more of a learning curve than using the word templates.
So let’s talk about the actual creation of a flyer. I have found the most time-consuming part of creating a flyer is choosing the template. After lots of trial and error, I have found a few things to make selecting a template a little more expedient. I first consider whether I want to use a photo. If so, I choose a template that uses a photo rather than one dependent on illustrations or shapes to add visual interest.
The second thing I look for is a flyer that uses a similar amount of text. If you can’t find one with as much text as you plan to include, you may very well be including extraneous information — visual clutter that will make the flyer less effective. The professional who created the template gave a lot of thought to each design element on the page. If you change it too much, that will be lost and the flyer’s effectiveness will be diminished.
The last thing that I look for is a template with what I call edges. If your flyer is posted to a website or a social media site, it is best to ensure that it is not just words and images floating in the middle of a white background. For example, include elements that extend side-to-side, top-to-bottom, or colored background to prevent that words-floating-in-space look. If you decide to ignore Tip #1 and use a word document instead of a word template, please add a border around the ENTIRE page or add a colored background.
After creating the flyer, no matter what program you use, it is best to save it as a PDF before emailing it to other members or to AIS Communications for posting on our website. That way, the flyer will look the same on the reader’s device as it did on yours.
For more information about flyer creation, including tips on what information to include or exclude, please see the Reaching Others: Social Media & Flyers Tips and Tricks presentation under Resources on the WA Area website at wa-al-anon.org. If you have questions or need technical help, please contact me at eventseditor@seattle-al-anon.org.
I can see that how the information is put on the page and what information is included really makes a difference in whether the flyer effectively reaches those who suffer from the disease of alcoholism, regardless if they have found our rooms or not.
So let’s just say you have volunteered to create a flyer for your Group’s event or another organization (e.g., your child’s school PTO or a social or religious organization function). Where do you start? The #1 tip from my presentation at SSA last month is: Use a professionally designed template. In my experience, most members begin with a blank word document. I encourage you to start with a template instead. Using a pre-designed template will give you an incredible result and save you a ton of time and hassle since all the page elements are ready for you to customize with your specific information.
Professionally designed templates are available in several ways. One common option is to use a word template. All word programs have templates available for your use. Another option is to use a web-based design program. The internet is loaded with web-based design programs. A few examples are Canva, Crello, DesignBold, Visme, and Pixelied.
So what are the advantages and disadvantages of those two options? The main advantage of word program templates is that most of us already have a word program that contains templates on our computers. A disadvantage is the selection of templates that includes some pretty dated ones. If you choose a template that uses photographs, you will either need to have your own high-resolution photos or search for royalty-free photos on the web, download them, and then insert them into the template.
The other option, web-based design programs, are designed specifically so “anyone” can create a professional-looking flyer. The number of templates available is mind-boggling and, because it is web-based, fresh templates are added frequently. To place a photo in the flyer, the user can search from the program’s built-in selections, then drag it onto the photo spot in the template. You can be pretty sure that it will be the right resolution, and the program will automatically resize it. As for disadvantages, I didn’t find many of importance. Of course, as with anything new, there is a bit of a learning curve. For me, it was no more of a learning curve than using the word templates.
So let’s talk about the actual creation of a flyer. I have found the most time-consuming part of creating a flyer is choosing the template. After lots of trial and error, I have found a few things to make selecting a template a little more expedient. I first consider whether I want to use a photo. If so, I choose a template that uses a photo rather than one dependent on illustrations or shapes to add visual interest.
The second thing I look for is a flyer that uses a similar amount of text. If you can’t find one with as much text as you plan to include, you may very well be including extraneous information — visual clutter that will make the flyer less effective. The professional who created the template gave a lot of thought to each design element on the page. If you change it too much, that will be lost and the flyer’s effectiveness will be diminished.
The last thing that I look for is a template with what I call edges. If your flyer is posted to a website or a social media site, it is best to ensure that it is not just words and images floating in the middle of a white background. For example, include elements that extend side-to-side, top-to-bottom, or colored background to prevent that words-floating-in-space look. If you decide to ignore Tip #1 and use a word document instead of a word template, please add a border around the ENTIRE page or add a colored background.
After creating the flyer, no matter what program you use, it is best to save it as a PDF before emailing it to other members or to AIS Communications for posting on our website. That way, the flyer will look the same on the reader’s device as it did on yours.
For more information about flyer creation, including tips on what information to include or exclude, please see the Reaching Others: Social Media & Flyers Tips and Tricks presentation under Resources on the WA Area website at wa-al-anon.org. If you have questions or need technical help, please contact me at eventseditor@seattle-al-anon.org.
The 70-Year History of the Renton Thursday Night AFG
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In 1950, Bill W, co-founder of AA, informed his wife, Lois W, that many family groups had formed, and 87 groups wanted to register with AA, but AA was designated for alcoholics. Bill asked Lois to start a family group to help the families of alcoholics. Lois informed her husband she was 60 years old, and they finally had a home (Stepping Stones) after being homeless for a number of years, and she enjoyed working in her garden. Lois had a big heart and decided to put her gardening on the side and help the friends and families of alcoholics. In 1951, Lois and her friend and neighbor Anne B wrote to the 87 groups and asked them to unify as AA's Family Groups and accept the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Fifty-six groups responded, and Renton Thursday Night was one of the 56. Our Secretary, Millie M, responded to the letter. The letter is located in the Washington Area archives. Please join us for our 70th Birthday celebration on June 19, 2021.
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Step Six
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 
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Free Shipping We are excited to help our members (within Districts 14-22) during this difficult time. We are continuing our sale until JUNE 30th. Free shipping and no WSO surcharge for orders that are placed and paid online. We will strive to ship orders by the Thursday after payment is received. Literature order forms are available at https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/literature.html. For easy processing, follow the instructions on the literature order forms and email LDC@seattle-al-anon.org. The office will remain closed until further notice. |
On Second Thought
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photo courtesy of Marjorie S
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Lately, I’ve heard in meetings that our first thought might not be the best. Perhaps our immediate response to a person or event may be based on our survival skills, fear, or other pre-recovery reactions. But if we pause and let the next thoughts come, the tools of our recovery may surface, and we may be able to act more in everyone’s best interests. This is true for me.
The other day I had a challenging time with my alcoholic loved one. Although they have four years of sobriety and I have eleven years in Al-Anon, the patterns we both practiced for decades are still deeply etched on my psyche. The tactics I developed before Al-Anon were useful at the time, they kept me safe, and they helped me form a type of self-worth. But those old tools aren’t as good as my new tools. It’s like using a butter knife instead of a screwdriver. They both work, but one is more suited to the job. I remember this, and I forget this. So, I often pull out the butter knife first.
The morning after the challenging day, I woke feeling uncomfortable and unworthy. The old voices were speaking louder than my Higher Power (HP). The deeply familiar anxiety urged me to spring into action, to do what worked in the alcoholic environment. It said, “Do more! Work harder! Be more! Figure it out!” That tangled, fear-driven, and familiar mess was my first thought. But not my second.
My second thought was a lifeline from HP. It was gentle yet resound, reminding me that the last thing I needed was to do more. I was already feeling worn down. Instead of soldiering on, I needed to nurture myself, be kind to myself, take care of myself. Because this is a challenging area for me, I poured a cup of tea and reread the section on “Taking Care of Ourselves” in How Al-Anon Works. My anxiety started to wane as I read about our common issues. I was given practical suggestions. I no longer felt isolated. Instead, I felt the soothing hand of my community reaching out to me from the pages and beyond. I didn’t have to follow my old thoughts. I could be free.
My first thoughts are often reactive instead of thoughtful. As much as I think I would like to be rid of those thoughts, they are an important part of me, a part that is tough, resilient, and protective. I love that little fighter in me. On second thought, I will acknowledge all she’s done for me and give her a much-needed break.
I'm so grateful for the members of Al-Anon who share their experience, strength, and hope. The phrase “On Second Thought” is now one of my new tools. It’s my big, shiny, red-handled screwdriver.
The other day I had a challenging time with my alcoholic loved one. Although they have four years of sobriety and I have eleven years in Al-Anon, the patterns we both practiced for decades are still deeply etched on my psyche. The tactics I developed before Al-Anon were useful at the time, they kept me safe, and they helped me form a type of self-worth. But those old tools aren’t as good as my new tools. It’s like using a butter knife instead of a screwdriver. They both work, but one is more suited to the job. I remember this, and I forget this. So, I often pull out the butter knife first.
The morning after the challenging day, I woke feeling uncomfortable and unworthy. The old voices were speaking louder than my Higher Power (HP). The deeply familiar anxiety urged me to spring into action, to do what worked in the alcoholic environment. It said, “Do more! Work harder! Be more! Figure it out!” That tangled, fear-driven, and familiar mess was my first thought. But not my second.
My second thought was a lifeline from HP. It was gentle yet resound, reminding me that the last thing I needed was to do more. I was already feeling worn down. Instead of soldiering on, I needed to nurture myself, be kind to myself, take care of myself. Because this is a challenging area for me, I poured a cup of tea and reread the section on “Taking Care of Ourselves” in How Al-Anon Works. My anxiety started to wane as I read about our common issues. I was given practical suggestions. I no longer felt isolated. Instead, I felt the soothing hand of my community reaching out to me from the pages and beyond. I didn’t have to follow my old thoughts. I could be free.
My first thoughts are often reactive instead of thoughtful. As much as I think I would like to be rid of those thoughts, they are an important part of me, a part that is tough, resilient, and protective. I love that little fighter in me. On second thought, I will acknowledge all she’s done for me and give her a much-needed break.
I'm so grateful for the members of Al-Anon who share their experience, strength, and hope. The phrase “On Second Thought” is now one of my new tools. It’s my big, shiny, red-handled screwdriver.
Al-Anon Poem of the MonthNightmares Sometimes Cease
Endless nights wishing it to stop but only dreaming and putting out fires that don't exist. I thought I was helping but I didn't know what else to do. I lost some friends I lost my sanity I lost myself There is a calm inside me now that I can't explain, It's why I'm here. Any feeling of being lost is mostly gone. When that feeling comes back I eventually remember what it was like before, and wish never to return. -Anonymous |
If you have an Al-Anon poem that you'd like to submit, please send it to newsletter@seattle-al-anon.org. Anonymous submissions accepted. |
Help Bring Us Diversity
AIS is looking for new leaders to write for the Bits Newsletter! Writers who identify with the LGBTQIA2+ community, or are BIPOC, and would like to contribute to the Bits, on any Al-Anon topic, please let us know at newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org
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Perceiving Reality and Recognizing Truth |
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“Our sight, once clouded and confused, will clear and we will be able to perceive reality and recognize truth” (From Survival to Recovery, p. 269). I have witnessed the alcoholics in my life utilizing huge denial and fantastical lies to rationalize the dire consequences of their alcohol use. However, sometimes the deceptions seem credible, especially when I desperately want to believe my loved one is getting better. I have often experienced that foggy confusion and a palpable battle between my discerning gut and my wishful longings. Am I somehow allowing alcoholism to drape that cloak of denial over me as well?
I grew up in a very dysfunctional, chaotic, and abusive home. I realized at a young age that what was going on wasn’t normal or right. I was punished or silenced for trying to get help or questioning the obvious crazy or dangerous behaviors of the intoxicated adults around me. I was expected to endure abuse and to serve the abusers, unquestionably. I entered a marriage with the same dysfunctional family dynamics. Despite my rescue efforts, it ended in a restraining order and divorce. I repeated that disordered pattern in most of my friendships and partners for another 10 years. That familiar longing for love, accepting crumbs of care, and allowing unacceptable behavior. I was still trying to rescue my family of origin and change the outcomes: “Doing the same thing, over and over again, and expecting different results.”
For the last 5 years, I have landed back between the walls of alcoholism with people I care about. I have witnessed irrationality and irresponsibility...experienced the pain of watching them decline...and felt the collateral damage of verbal and emotional maltreatment. Both my head and heart become tangled and conflicted regularly when in contact with the alcoholic undercurrents. However, when I use my recovery tools and reach out to my higher power, I begin to experience the benefits.
First, I have to tuck away from the far-reaching tentacles of the disease. I may go for a drive, walk in nature, or close the door of a secluded room. I pray for clarity, insight, and the ability to discern truth and reality. This is always a process. Anxiety and over-responsibility tend to muddy my thinking as I obsess over the alcoholic. I may be resistant to reality because it may seem agonizing and scary, but it doesn’t help me or the alcoholic to remain in denial. Perceiving reality and recognizing truth comes with boundaries, practice, and focusing on myself.
If reality is a river, then denial is trying to paddle upstream. One will eventually end up exhausted and swept away by the current.
I grew up in a very dysfunctional, chaotic, and abusive home. I realized at a young age that what was going on wasn’t normal or right. I was punished or silenced for trying to get help or questioning the obvious crazy or dangerous behaviors of the intoxicated adults around me. I was expected to endure abuse and to serve the abusers, unquestionably. I entered a marriage with the same dysfunctional family dynamics. Despite my rescue efforts, it ended in a restraining order and divorce. I repeated that disordered pattern in most of my friendships and partners for another 10 years. That familiar longing for love, accepting crumbs of care, and allowing unacceptable behavior. I was still trying to rescue my family of origin and change the outcomes: “Doing the same thing, over and over again, and expecting different results.”
For the last 5 years, I have landed back between the walls of alcoholism with people I care about. I have witnessed irrationality and irresponsibility...experienced the pain of watching them decline...and felt the collateral damage of verbal and emotional maltreatment. Both my head and heart become tangled and conflicted regularly when in contact with the alcoholic undercurrents. However, when I use my recovery tools and reach out to my higher power, I begin to experience the benefits.
First, I have to tuck away from the far-reaching tentacles of the disease. I may go for a drive, walk in nature, or close the door of a secluded room. I pray for clarity, insight, and the ability to discern truth and reality. This is always a process. Anxiety and over-responsibility tend to muddy my thinking as I obsess over the alcoholic. I may be resistant to reality because it may seem agonizing and scary, but it doesn’t help me or the alcoholic to remain in denial. Perceiving reality and recognizing truth comes with boundaries, practice, and focusing on myself.
If reality is a river, then denial is trying to paddle upstream. One will eventually end up exhausted and swept away by the current.
Enjoy Talking on the Phone or Sleeping on the Job? Seattle Al-Anon Information Service (AIS) Is Looking for Phone Volunteers! Shifts are available 7 days a week in 3-hour intervals starting at 7am during the day, and at night there is one shift starting at 10:30pm, which goes until 7am. The focus is to answer questions about Al-Anon and Alateen’s meeting times and Zoom availability, to give hope to people whose lives may be affected by someone else’s drinking, and to help others reach the appropriate source of help. A manual is provided with resource numbers and helpful suggestions on maintaining anonymity and talking to people in distress. FOR INFORMATION, PLEASE CONTACT phones@seattle-al-anon.org |
Tradition Six
Our Family Groups ought never endorse, finance or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim. Although a separate entity, we should always co-operate with Alcoholics Anonymous. 
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Al-Anon Mailbag
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Question: Allen from Seattle asks, "What is a dry drunk?"
Answer: The easiest way to answer this, in my opinion, is this is a complicated term. A dry drunk, from all the information that I've read, describes an alcoholic that does not drink. BUT the reasons that brought the alcoholic to alcohol are still present even after quitting drinking. The alcoholic may have quit drinking but retained the emotional and psychological issues of why they started drinking in the first place. The term was coined by RJ Solberg in his 1983 AA pamphlet, The Dry Drunk Syndrome. Here is a more complete definition. |
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AIS Needs You!
Current Service Opportunities *Web Editor* *Office Volunteers* *Phone Volunteers* If you are interested in a particular area of service, please contact chair@seattle-al-anon.org |
Al-Anon Joke of the Month
Alcoholics are defined as people with one or more personalities...
Al-Anons are people with one or less!
Do you have a funny or not so funny Al-Anon joke? Please send it along to newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org |
When an Al-Anon Friend Dies
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Not long after I started attending Al-Anon, I befriended a member who had similar interests. She and I sometimes walked to a park and talked about our lives and had coffee. She was really easy to talk with, and there wasn’t much about her that I didn’t like. Usually, I nitpick with friends and tend to find flaws as sort of a defense mechanism, but with her, I didn’t. Perhaps our bond in Al-Anon was all I needed. I could trust her to know how I felt, and I didn’t have to explain everything.
When I heard that she died last year I didn’t know what to do. I was at home during a meeting, and another member announced the news; I nearly dropped my glass of water. I was very distraught, and after hearing all the information, I had to leave the meeting early. It was a kind of loss that I never had before. I didn’t know the alcoholic in her life enough to know their phone number, and since she and I always met somewhere neutral, I didn’t know where she even lived. Our friendship was almost like an open secret friendship, the kind that might be somewhat typical in Al-Anon.
Since the program is anonymous, I felt like I had no “in” to attend the funeral, as I didn’t even know her last name or who to look for in the obituaries. No one else in our shared meeting really knew her. By the time I did find her, it was too late to attend. I would have loved to go but understood that the nature of our relationship was what it was. It’s not easy for me to talk about this, as this kind of thing is never discussed at meetings or even in informal discussions. I’m glad to share it now and glad I had her as a friend.
When I heard that she died last year I didn’t know what to do. I was at home during a meeting, and another member announced the news; I nearly dropped my glass of water. I was very distraught, and after hearing all the information, I had to leave the meeting early. It was a kind of loss that I never had before. I didn’t know the alcoholic in her life enough to know their phone number, and since she and I always met somewhere neutral, I didn’t know where she even lived. Our friendship was almost like an open secret friendship, the kind that might be somewhat typical in Al-Anon.
Since the program is anonymous, I felt like I had no “in” to attend the funeral, as I didn’t even know her last name or who to look for in the obituaries. No one else in our shared meeting really knew her. By the time I did find her, it was too late to attend. I would have loved to go but understood that the nature of our relationship was what it was. It’s not easy for me to talk about this, as this kind of thing is never discussed at meetings or even in informal discussions. I’m glad to share it now and glad I had her as a friend.
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Concept Six
The Conference acknowledges the primary administrative responsibility of the Trustees. 
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Feeling Scatterbrained with Your Thoughts? It Might Help to Write Things Down.
If you ever feel like you would like to write something for the newsletter, please let us know at newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org Pen Names Accepted 
photo courtesy of Marjorie S
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It Was 20 Years Ago Today...
Clips taken from the June 2001 Bits Newsletter
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April 2021 AIS Council Meeting Minutes (Summary)
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photo courtesy of Marjorie S
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Treasurer’s Report: Mariann M was unable to attend, Eliza D read the report. Six groups sent in donations totaling $1,057.49. Email treasurer@seattle-al-anon.org. Please check with your groups to see if donations match the report.
Vice-Chair Report: Helen V says the Bylaws and the Policy Manual do not match. The Bylaws were last updated in 2016 and the Policy Manual in late 2018 or 2019. Once the committee is done, it will be up to the Board to approve the changes. Eliza D, Helen V, Cheré F, Teresa H, Linda H, and Anessa N are the committee members. There was a question regarding the ASL (American Sign Language) request. The Board has requested more information from the ASL Thought Force Committee.
From the Chair: Eliza D announced that AIS has a fun outing, the “7th Annual AIS Resentment Bonfire and Cookout” that will be a bilingual affair, Spanish and English. Scheduled for Sunday, August 15, 2021, at Lincoln Park in West Seattle, Shelter #2.
Doug L, Tech Coordinator, is trying to compile a list of emails with the help of Susan C-H, and he says that we have no real way of emailing information to the AIS Council. Several suggestions were discussed.
Coordinator Reports
Communications Coordinator: Cheré F - The Communications Committee consists of the Newsletter Editor, Eric G, Events Editor, Teresa H, and the Meeting Directory Editor, Susan C-H. The Web Editor position is open. The Newsletter Editor continues to add interesting and timely articles. Very impressive Pre-Con motions were listed & linked to the website. Of the 662 emails sent out for the Newsletter Blast at the first of the month, only 29% were opened, and the Council Meeting reminder had 33% opened.
The website events page has the continually updated 2021 calendar, plus flyers of workshops, conventions, and speaker meetings. The Meeting Directory Editor is updating the meeting information on the Seattle AIS and WA Area websites. If your group is going back to meeting in-person or changing to hybrid, please let us know. We will notify DRs and update WA Area too. Please be sure your Zoom information is accurate. The Outreach page is public and can be located under the Members tab.
LDC Co-Coordinators: Julie R and Doug L reported that the LDC is completing its in-stock inventory, checking Quickbooks, and cross-referencing it with the World Service Office (WSO). Updated the four literature forms for English and Spanish. WSO has 10 items that are out of stock and anticipate they will be restocking them soon. Continuing to ship the free newcomer packets. Thus far, 120 have shipped since mid-December. LDC is short on shelf space and requested new cases. Council approved to spend a total of $220 total plus sales tax for three bookshelves. Helen V 2nd the motion. Eliza D opened for discussion.
Outreach Co-Coordinator: Mickey K - Shoreline Community College is having a Virtual Health Fair online. Information on the website about outreach liaisons. Ideas for advertising at Sea-Tac airport on the digital screens and on buses. Google Grants has a program as well that is free, and a couple of people are looking into that. There is an idea to bring Al-Anon into continuing medical education for health care providers as an umbrella for education about substance abuse. The Outreach Committee meets on the first Monday of even-numbered months.
Alateen Coordinator: Kathy B reports there are some safety concerns for Alateen on Zoom. Would like to set up some Alateen Zoom meetings. There are two AMIAS ready and a date. An Alateen Zoom link was requested that will be self-contained and have extra security. A motion was approved for AIS to pay for Alateen Zoom meetings.
Tech Coordinator: Doug L reports that Tech is in good shape.
Archives Coordinator: Eric G shared he enjoyed digitizing cassettes in the office. Still looking for a case to display archive material.
Phone Volunteers Coordinator: Dave M reported a busy March just covered 77% of shifts. Approximately 106 calls, the 95% busiest is 7 am to 7 pm on Mondays and Tuesdays weekly. Lots of spam calls.
Next Meeting: May 13, 2021
Attendance: 24 members
Vice-Chair Report: Helen V says the Bylaws and the Policy Manual do not match. The Bylaws were last updated in 2016 and the Policy Manual in late 2018 or 2019. Once the committee is done, it will be up to the Board to approve the changes. Eliza D, Helen V, Cheré F, Teresa H, Linda H, and Anessa N are the committee members. There was a question regarding the ASL (American Sign Language) request. The Board has requested more information from the ASL Thought Force Committee.
From the Chair: Eliza D announced that AIS has a fun outing, the “7th Annual AIS Resentment Bonfire and Cookout” that will be a bilingual affair, Spanish and English. Scheduled for Sunday, August 15, 2021, at Lincoln Park in West Seattle, Shelter #2.
Doug L, Tech Coordinator, is trying to compile a list of emails with the help of Susan C-H, and he says that we have no real way of emailing information to the AIS Council. Several suggestions were discussed.
Coordinator Reports
Communications Coordinator: Cheré F - The Communications Committee consists of the Newsletter Editor, Eric G, Events Editor, Teresa H, and the Meeting Directory Editor, Susan C-H. The Web Editor position is open. The Newsletter Editor continues to add interesting and timely articles. Very impressive Pre-Con motions were listed & linked to the website. Of the 662 emails sent out for the Newsletter Blast at the first of the month, only 29% were opened, and the Council Meeting reminder had 33% opened.
The website events page has the continually updated 2021 calendar, plus flyers of workshops, conventions, and speaker meetings. The Meeting Directory Editor is updating the meeting information on the Seattle AIS and WA Area websites. If your group is going back to meeting in-person or changing to hybrid, please let us know. We will notify DRs and update WA Area too. Please be sure your Zoom information is accurate. The Outreach page is public and can be located under the Members tab.
LDC Co-Coordinators: Julie R and Doug L reported that the LDC is completing its in-stock inventory, checking Quickbooks, and cross-referencing it with the World Service Office (WSO). Updated the four literature forms for English and Spanish. WSO has 10 items that are out of stock and anticipate they will be restocking them soon. Continuing to ship the free newcomer packets. Thus far, 120 have shipped since mid-December. LDC is short on shelf space and requested new cases. Council approved to spend a total of $220 total plus sales tax for three bookshelves. Helen V 2nd the motion. Eliza D opened for discussion.
Outreach Co-Coordinator: Mickey K - Shoreline Community College is having a Virtual Health Fair online. Information on the website about outreach liaisons. Ideas for advertising at Sea-Tac airport on the digital screens and on buses. Google Grants has a program as well that is free, and a couple of people are looking into that. There is an idea to bring Al-Anon into continuing medical education for health care providers as an umbrella for education about substance abuse. The Outreach Committee meets on the first Monday of even-numbered months.
Alateen Coordinator: Kathy B reports there are some safety concerns for Alateen on Zoom. Would like to set up some Alateen Zoom meetings. There are two AMIAS ready and a date. An Alateen Zoom link was requested that will be self-contained and have extra security. A motion was approved for AIS to pay for Alateen Zoom meetings.
Tech Coordinator: Doug L reports that Tech is in good shape.
Archives Coordinator: Eric G shared he enjoyed digitizing cassettes in the office. Still looking for a case to display archive material.
Phone Volunteers Coordinator: Dave M reported a busy March just covered 77% of shifts. Approximately 106 calls, the 95% busiest is 7 am to 7 pm on Mondays and Tuesdays weekly. Lots of spam calls.
Next Meeting: May 13, 2021
Attendance: 24 members
Thank you for your donations and for your support of AIS!
Our funding now comes primarily from:
*Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
*Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations to:
Seattle AIS
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
Donate Now
Our funding now comes primarily from:
*Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
*Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations to:
Seattle AIS
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
Donate Now
And More...
Please visit our Members page for the most up-to-date information on: