Lois W: Our Favorite Stories of the Birthday Girl
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When our co-founder, Lois W, passed away in 1988, there was an emotional tidal wave showing support and love for the woman who has helped so many of us. The Forum magazine had a tribute to her, the WSO newsletter at the time (Inside Al-Anon) had a full issue dedicated to her, and I’m certain our own Bits newsletter had a glowing review of her life (still looking for that issue). She was, by all accounts, a lovely person and admired human being. Lois W even had an obituary in the NY Times, which not everyone gets, and was an important symbol in our culture.
For a long time, Seattle AIS has celebrated her birthday on or near March 4th. Because we cannot come together at this time, I felt it would be interesting to ask the Seattle AIS Board and Council members about their favorite memories they may have had about Lois W or a story they had heard or hold special about Lois W. Please find their responses below.
Helen V (AIS Vice-Chair): I think this quote is a wonderful expression of Lois’s burning bush that we need to focus on ourselves.
“One Sunday, Bill asked me if I was ready to go to the meeting with him. To my own astonishment as well as his, I burst forth with, 'Damn your old meetings!' and threw a shoe as hard as I could.
This surprising display of temper over nothing pulled me up short and made me start to analyze my own attitudes. By degrees I saw that I had been wallowing in self-pity, that I resented the fact that … I was left alone while he was off somewhere scouting up new drunks or working with old ones. I felt on the outside of a very tight little clique of alcoholics that no mere wife could enter.… My life’s purpose of sobering up Bill, which made me feel desperately needed, had vanished.… I decided to strive for my own spiritual growth (How Al-Anon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics, pp. 153-154).
I’m studying the Concepts and just found a terrific quote from Lois W: “... As our cofounder Lois W said, 'I don’t think there is a spiritual part of the program. I think Al-Anon is a spiritual program. Every activity can have a spiritual motive' (p. 139, "Concept Eleven" in How Al-Anon Works (c) 2008).
Eliza D (AIS Chair): We don’t have Lois W to see these days at our Zoom meetings. She died the year I started in Al-Anon, and many persons who knew her had gone as well. I never met her. I was born the year she started applying AA Steps and Traditions to a 12-step program for family members and friends of alcoholics.
My earliest introduction to Lois’s story was in her autobiography Lois Remembers, a conference-approved book. I used to read it in the AIS Office after a volunteer shift. I couldn’t relate to their enjoyment of camping as their first “home” experience until later, when I realized that they were actually living the slogan “Keep It Simple.” It took me years of being in the program before realizing how desirable it was to practice keeping it simple. Our steps, slogans, and traditions come from their life experiences with one another and with those who suffered from the disease of alcoholism and the fellowship they shared with the family members and friends of alcoholics.
There is so much I still can learn about Lois W, the wonderful co-founder of Al-Anon. I searched on Wikipedia and learned her father was a doctor and her grandfather was a pastor. She grew up in the Friends Church in Vermont. She grew up nurtured by folks who believe living in peace was the only way to live. I admire that. She was 4 years older than Bill W, her husband. I learned that she had artistic talent and worked for a time as an interior decorator.
But, the best thing I know about Lois W is that I can see her now, reflected in the faces of all the women I have met in the meeting rooms of Al-Anon. We all have shared the fear, the shame, and the worry of living with an alcoholic, and we have all learned that we can support each other by sharing our experience, strength, and hope, as has been practiced by Lois W and many others in this wonderful program.
Teresa H (Events Editor): Over the years, Lois and Bill W spent a lot of time hiking. She describes it as “a life-long habit.” “When we were tired or unable to solve some problem, we would go off by ourselves in the woods or occasionally to the sea.” I also love to hike and to spend time at the sea as they did. I have so much more clarity when I feel closer to nature. Lois W did not let what others thought of her deter her from hiking. She wore “knickerbockers” while hiking which was not what a proper woman wore in 1919, and so was an object of “curiosity shown by staring adults and giggling youngsters.” What a great example of “what others think of me is none of my business” and of "Q-Tip, Quit Taking It Personally."
Cheré F (Communications Coordinator): A quote from Lois W that I have heard often over the years: “Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Her tireless efforts and vision made Al-Anon the strong organization it is today and are the reasons why it continues to attract members through its message of hope and healing. She shared in a recorded talk that “Al-Anon got started and has grown at a simply remarkable speed; of course it had AA to break the path, cut the brush, and so the trail was very much easier to follow. But nevertheless, we feel that it’s been just remarkable.” Lois was our trailblazer, creating a path for generations to follow. I believe she was just truly remarkable.
Roxanne T (Former Secretary): My favorite quotes from Lois W are: “I believe people are good if you give them half a chance and that good is more powerful than evil.” and “The world seems to me excruciatingly, almost painfully beautiful to me at times, and the goodness and kindness of people often exceeds that which even I expect.”
Both of these quotes are on the Stepping Stones website. It is a wonderful website, and it gives insight into Lois’s life and her home, including great photos of Stepping Stones.
Linda H (Former Treasurer): The only Lois's Birthday event I've participated in was the one AIS hosted in February 2020. It was lovely to share dinner with Al-Anon friends from around Seattle, learn more about Lois and hear speakers without any concern about fundraising. As it turned out, the 7th Tradition collection almost covered the cost of the event. The memory grew sweeter when it turned out to be our last opportunity to socialize with Al-Anon friends as everything shut down about two weeks later.
Eric G (Newsletter Editor and Archives Coordinator): What I love about her most is her resilience and warm heart. What I haven’t heard here yet is the story of the Swedish Ivy (Creeping Charlie) plant that she brought home from the hospital after Bill W passed away. Cuttings of the plant were shared many times over, in Bill’s memory. Both AA and Al-Anon members all over the world have a derivative of this plant. Even in our AIS office can be found a derivative of this plant. The plant is easy to care for and a very strong plant.
Anonymous Phone Volunteer: "Most people come to Al-Anon meetings to get the alcoholic in their lives sober and are shocked to learn they themselves need to change. It is sometimes harder for them to recognize that they are part of the problem than it is for drinkers to admit their own alcoholism" (from Lois Remembers, p. 190).
My experience attending many Al-Anon meetings completely supports this opinion. I, luckily, was one of the few who knew that I had no way to change the alcoholic's opinion, and my quest was for personal recovery. But I did not understand what I had to learn for my own sake, and I thank Al-Anon members for gently putting up with my ignorance until I gradually found what worked for me.
For a long time, Seattle AIS has celebrated her birthday on or near March 4th. Because we cannot come together at this time, I felt it would be interesting to ask the Seattle AIS Board and Council members about their favorite memories they may have had about Lois W or a story they had heard or hold special about Lois W. Please find their responses below.
Helen V (AIS Vice-Chair): I think this quote is a wonderful expression of Lois’s burning bush that we need to focus on ourselves.
“One Sunday, Bill asked me if I was ready to go to the meeting with him. To my own astonishment as well as his, I burst forth with, 'Damn your old meetings!' and threw a shoe as hard as I could.
This surprising display of temper over nothing pulled me up short and made me start to analyze my own attitudes. By degrees I saw that I had been wallowing in self-pity, that I resented the fact that … I was left alone while he was off somewhere scouting up new drunks or working with old ones. I felt on the outside of a very tight little clique of alcoholics that no mere wife could enter.… My life’s purpose of sobering up Bill, which made me feel desperately needed, had vanished.… I decided to strive for my own spiritual growth (How Al-Anon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics, pp. 153-154).
I’m studying the Concepts and just found a terrific quote from Lois W: “... As our cofounder Lois W said, 'I don’t think there is a spiritual part of the program. I think Al-Anon is a spiritual program. Every activity can have a spiritual motive' (p. 139, "Concept Eleven" in How Al-Anon Works (c) 2008).
Eliza D (AIS Chair): We don’t have Lois W to see these days at our Zoom meetings. She died the year I started in Al-Anon, and many persons who knew her had gone as well. I never met her. I was born the year she started applying AA Steps and Traditions to a 12-step program for family members and friends of alcoholics.
My earliest introduction to Lois’s story was in her autobiography Lois Remembers, a conference-approved book. I used to read it in the AIS Office after a volunteer shift. I couldn’t relate to their enjoyment of camping as their first “home” experience until later, when I realized that they were actually living the slogan “Keep It Simple.” It took me years of being in the program before realizing how desirable it was to practice keeping it simple. Our steps, slogans, and traditions come from their life experiences with one another and with those who suffered from the disease of alcoholism and the fellowship they shared with the family members and friends of alcoholics.
There is so much I still can learn about Lois W, the wonderful co-founder of Al-Anon. I searched on Wikipedia and learned her father was a doctor and her grandfather was a pastor. She grew up in the Friends Church in Vermont. She grew up nurtured by folks who believe living in peace was the only way to live. I admire that. She was 4 years older than Bill W, her husband. I learned that she had artistic talent and worked for a time as an interior decorator.
But, the best thing I know about Lois W is that I can see her now, reflected in the faces of all the women I have met in the meeting rooms of Al-Anon. We all have shared the fear, the shame, and the worry of living with an alcoholic, and we have all learned that we can support each other by sharing our experience, strength, and hope, as has been practiced by Lois W and many others in this wonderful program.
Teresa H (Events Editor): Over the years, Lois and Bill W spent a lot of time hiking. She describes it as “a life-long habit.” “When we were tired or unable to solve some problem, we would go off by ourselves in the woods or occasionally to the sea.” I also love to hike and to spend time at the sea as they did. I have so much more clarity when I feel closer to nature. Lois W did not let what others thought of her deter her from hiking. She wore “knickerbockers” while hiking which was not what a proper woman wore in 1919, and so was an object of “curiosity shown by staring adults and giggling youngsters.” What a great example of “what others think of me is none of my business” and of "Q-Tip, Quit Taking It Personally."
Cheré F (Communications Coordinator): A quote from Lois W that I have heard often over the years: “Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Her tireless efforts and vision made Al-Anon the strong organization it is today and are the reasons why it continues to attract members through its message of hope and healing. She shared in a recorded talk that “Al-Anon got started and has grown at a simply remarkable speed; of course it had AA to break the path, cut the brush, and so the trail was very much easier to follow. But nevertheless, we feel that it’s been just remarkable.” Lois was our trailblazer, creating a path for generations to follow. I believe she was just truly remarkable.
Roxanne T (Former Secretary): My favorite quotes from Lois W are: “I believe people are good if you give them half a chance and that good is more powerful than evil.” and “The world seems to me excruciatingly, almost painfully beautiful to me at times, and the goodness and kindness of people often exceeds that which even I expect.”
Both of these quotes are on the Stepping Stones website. It is a wonderful website, and it gives insight into Lois’s life and her home, including great photos of Stepping Stones.
Linda H (Former Treasurer): The only Lois's Birthday event I've participated in was the one AIS hosted in February 2020. It was lovely to share dinner with Al-Anon friends from around Seattle, learn more about Lois and hear speakers without any concern about fundraising. As it turned out, the 7th Tradition collection almost covered the cost of the event. The memory grew sweeter when it turned out to be our last opportunity to socialize with Al-Anon friends as everything shut down about two weeks later.
Eric G (Newsletter Editor and Archives Coordinator): What I love about her most is her resilience and warm heart. What I haven’t heard here yet is the story of the Swedish Ivy (Creeping Charlie) plant that she brought home from the hospital after Bill W passed away. Cuttings of the plant were shared many times over, in Bill’s memory. Both AA and Al-Anon members all over the world have a derivative of this plant. Even in our AIS office can be found a derivative of this plant. The plant is easy to care for and a very strong plant.
Anonymous Phone Volunteer: "Most people come to Al-Anon meetings to get the alcoholic in their lives sober and are shocked to learn they themselves need to change. It is sometimes harder for them to recognize that they are part of the problem than it is for drinkers to admit their own alcoholism" (from Lois Remembers, p. 190).
My experience attending many Al-Anon meetings completely supports this opinion. I, luckily, was one of the few who knew that I had no way to change the alcoholic's opinion, and my quest was for personal recovery. But I did not understand what I had to learn for my own sake, and I thank Al-Anon members for gently putting up with my ignorance until I gradually found what worked for me.
You Can Get Anything You Want... at Al-Anon's Restaurant
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WA Area’s 2021 Outreach Project is asking EVERY Group to have an Outreach Coordinator. The WA Area Outreach Coordinator and their advisory committee developed a flyer as a call to Groups to have an Outreach position within their Group. They also produced a menu of possible Outreach projects. It is a real menu like an old-fashioned diner menu. Please check it out. The menu offers Appetizers, Main Courses, and Desserts depending on how much energy the Group chooses to expend. On the flyer is a reminder to check with your DR and, for Groups in our AIS area, with AIS Outreach to coordinate the project so that duplication of efforts, confusion, and double-headed management can be avoided.
A volunteer from the AIS Outreach Committee will happily attend any virtual District or Group meeting to explain the menu items and coordinate those efforts with other service arms, including AIS. If interested, please email outreach@seattle-al-anon.org.
A volunteer from the AIS Outreach Committee will happily attend any virtual District or Group meeting to explain the menu items and coordinate those efforts with other service arms, including AIS. If interested, please email outreach@seattle-al-anon.org.
Easy Does It
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I first heard the AA/Al-Anon slogans at age 17 when my mom made her first serious attempt at sobriety. Until then, our lives were characterized by crisis, reactivity, parties, fights, neglect, and indulgence. Abruptly, much of that was replaced with AA members coming and going, Grapevines, lots of coffee, and sayings like, “One Day at a Time,” “Let Go and Let God,” and “Easy Does It.” I was suspicious. Silly sayings were for fairy tales.
I had learned a way of living familiar to many of us. Alcoholism taught me to be wary and watchful. I saw the world through a lens of mistrust. Adults were scary. Kids were wild, and God was just an accompaniment to 4-letter words. Life required strategies to discern the truth, stave off danger, and survive. There was no “letting go,” no “letting God,” and certainly nothing easy about it.
The attitudes and behaviors I learned in my early life continued long into my adulthood. I recreated situations where I knew the rules and how to be. It was familiar and painful. So, I changed jobs. I changed partners. I tried to change others. But I didn’t change me. At least, not until recovery.
In the slow, gentle process of Al-Anon, I looked honestly at myself. I saw how much I tried to control everything. I grasped the depth of my fears. I had hurt others with my strategies. And, I had hurt myself. I was ready to do it differently. I knew I had to change my thinking and my worldview. I wanted a life of serenity, harmony, and love. Part of my recovery was to revisit the slogans I had seen decades earlier. This time I wasn’t suspicious. I embraced their wisdom. I believed in their transformative ability.
It’s not easy turning a mantra of mistrust into a belief that I can “Let Go and Let God,” or that “Progress Not Perfection” applies to me. It takes patience, persistence, and support. In the process, I’ve been especially fond of the slogan “Easy Does It.” I see it less as a command and more of a reminder that I’m worthy. It’s like a loving elder gently saying, “There, there. It’s all going to be okay. You can slow down, relax, take a load off. You deserve ease.”
I recently experienced several weeks of high demands. I sensed the old, familiar over-responsibility. I began feeling burdened and rushed. So, I took out a sticky note and wrote in big blue letters “Easy Does It.” I posted it where I could see it throughout the day. Each time I looked at it, I saw the gentle reminder to slow down and take it easy. I absorbed the simple wisdom. I calmed down and felt better. Today, because of recovery, I don’t have to do it the old way, the hard way. I’m not a prisoner of my past. I, too, can have ease and serenity thanks to Al-Anon and the slogans.
I had learned a way of living familiar to many of us. Alcoholism taught me to be wary and watchful. I saw the world through a lens of mistrust. Adults were scary. Kids were wild, and God was just an accompaniment to 4-letter words. Life required strategies to discern the truth, stave off danger, and survive. There was no “letting go,” no “letting God,” and certainly nothing easy about it.
The attitudes and behaviors I learned in my early life continued long into my adulthood. I recreated situations where I knew the rules and how to be. It was familiar and painful. So, I changed jobs. I changed partners. I tried to change others. But I didn’t change me. At least, not until recovery.
In the slow, gentle process of Al-Anon, I looked honestly at myself. I saw how much I tried to control everything. I grasped the depth of my fears. I had hurt others with my strategies. And, I had hurt myself. I was ready to do it differently. I knew I had to change my thinking and my worldview. I wanted a life of serenity, harmony, and love. Part of my recovery was to revisit the slogans I had seen decades earlier. This time I wasn’t suspicious. I embraced their wisdom. I believed in their transformative ability.
It’s not easy turning a mantra of mistrust into a belief that I can “Let Go and Let God,” or that “Progress Not Perfection” applies to me. It takes patience, persistence, and support. In the process, I’ve been especially fond of the slogan “Easy Does It.” I see it less as a command and more of a reminder that I’m worthy. It’s like a loving elder gently saying, “There, there. It’s all going to be okay. You can slow down, relax, take a load off. You deserve ease.”
I recently experienced several weeks of high demands. I sensed the old, familiar over-responsibility. I began feeling burdened and rushed. So, I took out a sticky note and wrote in big blue letters “Easy Does It.” I posted it where I could see it throughout the day. Each time I looked at it, I saw the gentle reminder to slow down and take it easy. I absorbed the simple wisdom. I calmed down and felt better. Today, because of recovery, I don’t have to do it the old way, the hard way. I’m not a prisoner of my past. I, too, can have ease and serenity thanks to Al-Anon and the slogans.
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Need a Free Newcomer Packet?Anyone local to Seattle who is a newcomer and wants an individual newcomer packet (or in Spanish too!), please send an email to LDC@seattle-al-anon.org with the name and mailing address.
AIS Council Meeting Thursday, March 11th, 730p - 9p Electronic Meeting Join Zoom Meeting: Click Here Meeting ID: 839 6957 0120 Passcode: 001086 The AIS Council Meeting is the business meeting for the Greater Seattle Al-Anon Information Service. Each Group has a vote and is encouraged to send a representative. All Al-Anon members are invited to attend. |
AIS Open Position: Web Editor
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An essential service position within Seattle AIS (Al-Anon Information Service) is open and waiting for just the right person. The web editor position implies good communication skills, attention to detail, and the ability to work well with others. As members under the Communications umbrella (Communications Coordinator, Events Editor, Newsletter Editor, Meeting Directory Editor, and Web Editor), we work together to adhere to Al-Anon traditions while following our website guidelines. Other editors maintain the Bits web pages and the Events pages, while the web editor would be responsible for our "static" pages. The involvement of the other editors greatly reduces the time required for updating.
To keep abreast of what is happening within AIS, Council/Board meeting attendance is encouraged.
For a complete listing of job duties from the Seattle AIS By-Laws, see below:
*Act as webmaster for the AIS website.
*Maintain the site on a platform that does not require special web skills so the position can be easily passed on to the next Editor.
*Publish content, maintain continuity of themes, design layout, and streamline navigation of the site.
*Keep the site up to date by ensuring that content is current, engaging, and accurate.
*Ensure that questions sent to the webmaster by members are answered promptly.
*Keep search engine information up to date to ensure that users find our site and get accurate AIS information.
The website that we use also provides guidance here.
To keep abreast of what is happening within AIS, Council/Board meeting attendance is encouraged.
For a complete listing of job duties from the Seattle AIS By-Laws, see below:
*Act as webmaster for the AIS website.
*Maintain the site on a platform that does not require special web skills so the position can be easily passed on to the next Editor.
*Publish content, maintain continuity of themes, design layout, and streamline navigation of the site.
*Keep the site up to date by ensuring that content is current, engaging, and accurate.
*Ensure that questions sent to the webmaster by members are answered promptly.
*Keep search engine information up to date to ensure that users find our site and get accurate AIS information.
The website that we use also provides guidance here.
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Step Three
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. 
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Free Shipping Extended (again)! We are excited to help our members (within Districts 14-22) during this difficult time. We are continuing our sale until MARCH 31st. Free shipping and no WSO surcharge for orders that are placed and paid online. We will strive to ship orders by the Thursday after payment is received. Literature order forms are available at https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/literature.html. For easy processing, follow the instructions on the literature order forms and email LDC@seattle-al-anon.org. The office will remain closed until further notice. |
WA AREA Group Representative WORKSHOPS
Wednesdays 6:00pm – 7:00pm
Oct. 7th 2020 thru March 31st, 2021
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Zoom: ID 652 405 746
PW 920990 Not just for GRs….EVERY member is WELCOME to attend! J̶a̶n̶.̶ ̶2̶7̶t̶h̶,̶ ̶S̶u̶r̶r̶e̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶S̶e̶r̶v̶i̶c̶e̶ F̶e̶b̶.̶ ̶3̶r̶d̶,̶ ̶G̶r̶o̶u̶p̶ ̶I̶n̶v̶e̶n̶t̶o̶r̶y̶ F̶e̶b̶.̶ ̶1̶0̶t̶h̶,̶ ̶F̶o̶r̶m̶s̶ ̶G̶R̶ ̶m̶a̶y̶ ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶ F̶e̶b̶.̶1̶7̶t̶h̶,̶ ̶D̶o̶m̶i̶n̶a̶n̶c̶e̶ F̶e̶b̶.̶ ̶2̶4̶t̶h̶,̶ ̶A̶l̶l̶ ̶a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶M̶o̶t̶i̶o̶n̶s̶ March 3rd, As the Group Turns March 10th, What is our responsibility at an Assembly? March 17th, What to expect at Assembly March 24th, Assembly Guidelines/Voting Procedures March 31st, Questions about motions, reports etc! Presented by: Melissa M. WA Area Alternate Delegate Panel 59 |
Embrace the Unmanageability |
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The first time I heard Step One, I felt strangely relieved. “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable." Wow! It’s really okay to admit that?! And to say it out loud and in public?! Over time, the second part was especially transformative for me. When I first heard Step One, I was in an Al-Anon meeting, and I didn’t know what I didn’t know.
I was in a codependent vise, mostly exploitative relationships, and I was trying to please work, church, family, friends, former spouse, and God. No matter what I did, I could never measure up to what people wanted from me or to the critical and perfectionistic voices in my head. “My life had become Unmanageable,” and I didn’t even recognize it! At one point, I suffered debilitating panic attacks and nearly became agoraphobic.
I grew up encased in chaos, double standards, and arbitrary rules and punishments. One never knew where the insanity and inconsistencies would manifest, but it was generally an ambush. When people are at different levels of intoxication and moods are swinging like a malevolent pendulum, kids adapt the best they can. They “manage” the dysfunction they were born into, usually with defense mechanisms, to survive their perilous environments.
As I have traveled along this road of recovery, I have become more attuned to “disturbances in the Force” (Obi-Wan). At first, unmanageability was rather catastrophic as it was cloaked in deep denial and codependency. With big unmanageability, I find my Higher Power allows things to break down, including relationships, sanity, health, and cars. (Yes, in my experience, cars!) The more I fight reality and cling to magical thinking and reinforced efforts, the more unmanageable my life becomes. As the alcoholic spins out of control with lots of acting out and increased health risks, I find myself living within the incarcerating, seemingly impermeable, walls of unmanageability.
Sometimes I have to crash into the wall of denial to come to my senses. Over time, I have learned to embrace unmanageability as an advocate for my sanity and serenity. I believe it is important to catch those twinges of overwhelm and uncomfortableness early, to check my thought patterns for “stinking thinking.” I may have a worry loop incessantly swirling around up there. Or I’m fretfully future casting or digging in the graveyard of the past. If I can bring my concerns to my Higher Power and let go of what is not mine to handle, life seems a lot more manageable—one day at a time.
I was in a codependent vise, mostly exploitative relationships, and I was trying to please work, church, family, friends, former spouse, and God. No matter what I did, I could never measure up to what people wanted from me or to the critical and perfectionistic voices in my head. “My life had become Unmanageable,” and I didn’t even recognize it! At one point, I suffered debilitating panic attacks and nearly became agoraphobic.
I grew up encased in chaos, double standards, and arbitrary rules and punishments. One never knew where the insanity and inconsistencies would manifest, but it was generally an ambush. When people are at different levels of intoxication and moods are swinging like a malevolent pendulum, kids adapt the best they can. They “manage” the dysfunction they were born into, usually with defense mechanisms, to survive their perilous environments.
As I have traveled along this road of recovery, I have become more attuned to “disturbances in the Force” (Obi-Wan). At first, unmanageability was rather catastrophic as it was cloaked in deep denial and codependency. With big unmanageability, I find my Higher Power allows things to break down, including relationships, sanity, health, and cars. (Yes, in my experience, cars!) The more I fight reality and cling to magical thinking and reinforced efforts, the more unmanageable my life becomes. As the alcoholic spins out of control with lots of acting out and increased health risks, I find myself living within the incarcerating, seemingly impermeable, walls of unmanageability.
Sometimes I have to crash into the wall of denial to come to my senses. Over time, I have learned to embrace unmanageability as an advocate for my sanity and serenity. I believe it is important to catch those twinges of overwhelm and uncomfortableness early, to check my thought patterns for “stinking thinking.” I may have a worry loop incessantly swirling around up there. Or I’m fretfully future casting or digging in the graveyard of the past. If I can bring my concerns to my Higher Power and let go of what is not mine to handle, life seems a lot more manageable—one day at a time.
Enjoy Talking on the Phone or Sleeping on the Job? Seattle Al-Anon Information Service (AIS) Is Looking for Phone Volunteers! Shifts are available 7 days a week in 3-hour intervals starting at 7am during the day, and at night there is one shift starting at 10:30pm, which goes until 7am. The focus is to answer questions about Al-Anon and Alateen’s meeting times and Zoom availability, to give hope to people whose lives may be affected by someone else’s drinking, and to help others reach the appropriate source of help. A manual is provided with resource numbers and helpful suggestions on maintaining anonymity and talking to people in distress. FOR INFORMATION, PLEASE CONTACT phones@seattle-al-anon.org Are You a Photographer?The newsletter is looking for new and interesting local photographs to use in each issue! If you'd like your photo considered for use in our next issue, please email it to newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org
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Al‑Anon Family Groups’ cofounder, Lois W., would be celebrating her 130th birthday on March 4, 2021. One of her familiar quotations is, “It takes only one person to start something, but many others to carry it out.” With our Legacies—the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, and Twelve Concepts of Service—we are well-guided to continue to “carry it out.”
After Lois died in 1988, the Board of Trustees approved “March 4th into Service” as the 1989 World Service Conference theme. Affectionately describing the act of supporting the fellowship through service, “March Forth” became encouragement to step up to service. But different members “March Forth” in different ways. Some group service positions don’t feel like service at all—putting out chairs, displaying Conference Approved Literature, or welcoming members. Other times, though, a bit of creativity is needed in meeting the needs of the group. Electronic Meetings may have use of a helping hand—managing technical features, staying on before or after the meeting to give a personal welcome to newcomers, or sharing resources for literature. My own path to service was somewhat reluctant at first. Certain that other members would ensure the Al‑Anon program’s future by doing all the work, I was content to stay on the sidelines, plodding along in my recovery. Eventually, I stepped into service simply to spend more time with others who were in recovery by attending District and Area meetings. Little did I know that it would help break down my walls of isolation, self-reliance, and insecurity. Members from other places welcomed and valued my input and helped me broaden my understanding of our Legacies. As I began to acknowledge the incredible improvement in my life that was so affected by alcoholism, I felt a greater need to carry Al‑Anon’s message of help and hope in any way I could. As a Senior Group Services Specialist at the World Service Office, I hear firsthand how members embrace service and “March Forth” with courage and care. Many have displayed the courage to help others be obedient to the unenforceable and provide care to keep the program clear and consistent. Some members take their time to step into service, while others jump right in. No matter how, when, or why we get involved, we know that we can “March Forth” together. Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al‑Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA. |
The Events Editor Presents:
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Every Wednesday evening through the end of March, WA Area District 13 works through a chapter of our Al-Anon book, How Al-Anon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics. This book is the text for Al-Anon Family Groups. In 90 minutes, the chapter is read aloud by members, and then speakers share on topics from that particular chapter before opening it up to member shares.
Last Wednesday, I attended for the first time and was astounded to find 237 members in attendance. There were members from around the U.S. as well as attendees from other countries. The three speakers were from California, Massachusetts, and Seattle. This is one of the wonderful things about these online workshops. There are no geographic boundaries which equate to lots and lots of experience, strength, and hope from a wide variety of members.
Last Wednesday, I attended for the first time and was astounded to find 237 members in attendance. There were members from around the U.S. as well as attendees from other countries. The three speakers were from California, Massachusetts, and Seattle. This is one of the wonderful things about these online workshops. There are no geographic boundaries which equate to lots and lots of experience, strength, and hope from a wide variety of members.
From the Archives
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As the new Archives Coordinator, I wanted to update all those wanting to hear some details on our archives collection. After relocating from the downtown Seattle Vance Building, we’ve had a small archives space in our main office room at the All Pilgrims Christian Church. The archives area consists of a small shelf filled with about 100 cassette tapes and CDs, a dozen VHS tapes, and back issues of the Forum, Bits, and WSO newsletters. Also, there is plenty of interesting pamphlets that are no longer in print. I hope to feature some of them in upcoming issues of the Bits.
The office just received a collection of our history from the previous Archivist. I will comb through all of it, sort it out, and consider how to display it properly. I hope to obtain a nice glass case or two to feature various treasures. As I describe what I want in a display case: I hope that when visitors view the cases, they already know what’s inside. Finding the right case so far has been challenging, as shopping for an item like this during COVID feels sort of like an unnecessary thing to do, but I will continue to keep an eye out. However, if any reader has a display case or bookcase they want to donate to the office, please contact me at archives@seattle-al-anon.org
With a history degree and aspirations of becoming a librarian, I want to thank you for the opportunity to serve.
The office just received a collection of our history from the previous Archivist. I will comb through all of it, sort it out, and consider how to display it properly. I hope to obtain a nice glass case or two to feature various treasures. As I describe what I want in a display case: I hope that when visitors view the cases, they already know what’s inside. Finding the right case so far has been challenging, as shopping for an item like this during COVID feels sort of like an unnecessary thing to do, but I will continue to keep an eye out. However, if any reader has a display case or bookcase they want to donate to the office, please contact me at archives@seattle-al-anon.org
With a history degree and aspirations of becoming a librarian, I want to thank you for the opportunity to serve.
Tradition Three The relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Al-Anon Family Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. |
Al-Anon Slogan Crossword
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Al-Anon Mailbag
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Mike G from Edmonds WA asks, "How do I start a new Al-Anon group?"
A: Wow, I've never been asked this before. I had to look this one up. According to the Al-Anon Service Manual, "if there is no Al-Anon Group in your community, you may start one, along with one or two other people who need and want Al-Anon's help. Any two or more relatives or friends of alcoholics who meet to solve their common problems may call themselves an Al-Anon group, provided they have no other affiliation as a group. For more information, see the guidelines Starting an Al-Anon Group (G-12), Starting an Alateen Group (G-19), and/or contact the World Service Office or national service structure. (p. 28). |
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The Motions to Be Voted on at Pre-Con 2021
WA Area Pre-Conference March 26-28, 2021 via Zoom
March 26 @ 7:00 pm - March 28 @ 12:00 pm
All are welcome to attend and have a voice, but only Group Representatives have a vote.
Motion: Washington Area shall amend its Bylaws such that, at the end of each calendar year, WA Area AFG will set aside 50% of the money above the Ample Reserve (formerly Prudent Reserve), defined as the excess funds, for Area projects while sending the other 50% to WSO. The excess funds will be spent on WA Area Outreach, Alateen, operational or on other WA Area special projects (See Appendix 1 for Sample Project List).
Each year, the WA Area Chair will appoint an advisory committee of up to 7 members to include the Chair and Delegate to determine how to spend the excess funds during the new year. If any excess funds remain unspent during the new year, those funds will return to the Area.
Motion: To rescind the 2006 Pre-Con motion requiring $5 for an electronic subscription to
the Washington Wanderings Newsletter.
Motion: District Boundary modifications.
Motion: Eliminate the line item in the WA Area Al-Anon Family Group budget that provides funding or reimbursement for past WA Area Delegates or past Trustees from WA Area to attend any Assembly, AWSC, or Al-Anon/Alateen event.
Motion: To amend the WA Area AFG Bylaws Article 5, section 1 to state, Officers… “are elected for a three-year term from Area Officers, Area Coordinators, and District Representatives, past or present.
For more information on each motion, please visit our website members page at https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/pre-con-assembly.html
March 26 @ 7:00 pm - March 28 @ 12:00 pm
All are welcome to attend and have a voice, but only Group Representatives have a vote.
Motion: Washington Area shall amend its Bylaws such that, at the end of each calendar year, WA Area AFG will set aside 50% of the money above the Ample Reserve (formerly Prudent Reserve), defined as the excess funds, for Area projects while sending the other 50% to WSO. The excess funds will be spent on WA Area Outreach, Alateen, operational or on other WA Area special projects (See Appendix 1 for Sample Project List).
Each year, the WA Area Chair will appoint an advisory committee of up to 7 members to include the Chair and Delegate to determine how to spend the excess funds during the new year. If any excess funds remain unspent during the new year, those funds will return to the Area.
Motion: To rescind the 2006 Pre-Con motion requiring $5 for an electronic subscription to
the Washington Wanderings Newsletter.
Motion: District Boundary modifications.
Motion: Eliminate the line item in the WA Area Al-Anon Family Group budget that provides funding or reimbursement for past WA Area Delegates or past Trustees from WA Area to attend any Assembly, AWSC, or Al-Anon/Alateen event.
Motion: To amend the WA Area AFG Bylaws Article 5, section 1 to state, Officers… “are elected for a three-year term from Area Officers, Area Coordinators, and District Representatives, past or present.
For more information on each motion, please visit our website members page at https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/pre-con-assembly.html
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AIS Needs You!
Current Service Opportunities *Web Editor* *Office Volunteers* *Phone Volunteers* *Outreach Coordinator* If you are interested in a particular area of service, please contact chair@seattle-al-anon.org 
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Al-Anon Joke of the Month
Who Is the Patron Saint of Al-Anon?
Our Lady of Perpetual Revenge!
Do you have a funny or not so funny Al-Anon joke? Please send it along to newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org |
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Concept Three
The right of decision makes effective leadership possible. 
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Feeling Scatterbrained with Your Thoughts? It Might Help to Write Things Down.
If you ever feel like you would like to write something for the newsletter, please let us know at newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org Pen Names Accepted 
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It Was 20 Years Ago Today...
Clips taken from the March 2001 Bits Newsletter (click to enlarge)
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January 2021 AIS Council Meeting Minutes
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Eliza D opened the meeting. Mary R read the 12 Traditions, and Maria L read the 12 Concepts
Secretary’s Report: Roxanne T read the December Board/Council minutes. Helen V moved we accept the minutes, and Beth S seconded. The minutes were approved unanimously.
Chair Report: Open AIS Officer and Coordinator positions were discussed. Outreach has a committee, but the Outreach Coordinator position is still open. Get the word out that we need an AIS Secretary.
Vice-Chair Report: Helen V reported a Bylaw committee has been created and plans on meeting in February. Any suggested revisions will be submitted to the Board for review.
Coordinator Reports
Alateen Coordinator: There was no report this month. Eliza D shared that Kathy B is trying to coordinate with the Area and D20 to start some Alateen meetings online. The AIS website lists the current Alateen meetings available via the Al-Anon app and Zoom meetings.
Communications Coordinator: Cheré F reported several updates to the AIS website. The Newcomers page has helpful links for newcomers that groups can utilize. Teresa H has volunteered as Events Editor and is updating the calendar and Events page on the website. The Alateen page is current. Eric G is doing a great job and has several new articles submitted from members. Susan C-H has created a document that will list all meetings and hopefully soon will be available online. The Web Editor position remains open. A question was raised about web traffic, and we will report 2020 stats at the next Council meeting.
Outreach Coordinator: Position Open
LDC: Doug L reported that the LDC continues to ship at the same pace. Newcomer packet requests are continuing to be positive – usually ships the next day. The Literature sale has been extended thru March 31st. We depend on office volunteers to fill orders.
Phone Volunteer Coordinator: Dave M shared that phones are very well organized. There is always a need for more volunteers. Considering changing the outgoing message to encourage folks to leave a voicemail. Will coordinate a volunteer meeting in February.
Tech Coordinator: Doug L shared his appreciation to Jeff M for his help the last couple of years. Susan C-H will be helping on the committee. There is interest in using Office 365 more efficiently with Officers, Coordinators, Editors, and District Representatives (DRs).
Archives Coordinator: Eric G reported he is searching for an archives case that will display nicely in the office.
Treasurer Report: Mariann M gave an overview of the current financial status. Linda H is working on a manual that will provide helpful instruction for this position. Eliza D shared appreciation for donations and literature sales that support AIS and end the year strongly.
Old Business: The ASL request for support and the funds above the prudent reserve are still being discussed at Board and have not been brought back to Council at this time.
New Business: A question was posed to Council to brainstorm a 70th Al-Anon Anniversary for this year. Several members supported the idea to create some type of celebration or event; to verify that it does not interfere with an Area or WSO planned event; discuss with Groups and/or Districts in moving forward.
Group Check-In: Open discussion on group concerns, challenges, or ideas.
The next Council meeting is Thursday, February 11th.
Attendance: 21 members
Secretary’s Report: Roxanne T read the December Board/Council minutes. Helen V moved we accept the minutes, and Beth S seconded. The minutes were approved unanimously.
Chair Report: Open AIS Officer and Coordinator positions were discussed. Outreach has a committee, but the Outreach Coordinator position is still open. Get the word out that we need an AIS Secretary.
Vice-Chair Report: Helen V reported a Bylaw committee has been created and plans on meeting in February. Any suggested revisions will be submitted to the Board for review.
Coordinator Reports
Alateen Coordinator: There was no report this month. Eliza D shared that Kathy B is trying to coordinate with the Area and D20 to start some Alateen meetings online. The AIS website lists the current Alateen meetings available via the Al-Anon app and Zoom meetings.
Communications Coordinator: Cheré F reported several updates to the AIS website. The Newcomers page has helpful links for newcomers that groups can utilize. Teresa H has volunteered as Events Editor and is updating the calendar and Events page on the website. The Alateen page is current. Eric G is doing a great job and has several new articles submitted from members. Susan C-H has created a document that will list all meetings and hopefully soon will be available online. The Web Editor position remains open. A question was raised about web traffic, and we will report 2020 stats at the next Council meeting.
Outreach Coordinator: Position Open
LDC: Doug L reported that the LDC continues to ship at the same pace. Newcomer packet requests are continuing to be positive – usually ships the next day. The Literature sale has been extended thru March 31st. We depend on office volunteers to fill orders.
Phone Volunteer Coordinator: Dave M shared that phones are very well organized. There is always a need for more volunteers. Considering changing the outgoing message to encourage folks to leave a voicemail. Will coordinate a volunteer meeting in February.
Tech Coordinator: Doug L shared his appreciation to Jeff M for his help the last couple of years. Susan C-H will be helping on the committee. There is interest in using Office 365 more efficiently with Officers, Coordinators, Editors, and District Representatives (DRs).
Archives Coordinator: Eric G reported he is searching for an archives case that will display nicely in the office.
Treasurer Report: Mariann M gave an overview of the current financial status. Linda H is working on a manual that will provide helpful instruction for this position. Eliza D shared appreciation for donations and literature sales that support AIS and end the year strongly.
Old Business: The ASL request for support and the funds above the prudent reserve are still being discussed at Board and have not been brought back to Council at this time.
New Business: A question was posed to Council to brainstorm a 70th Al-Anon Anniversary for this year. Several members supported the idea to create some type of celebration or event; to verify that it does not interfere with an Area or WSO planned event; discuss with Groups and/or Districts in moving forward.
Group Check-In: Open discussion on group concerns, challenges, or ideas.
- A question on whether a group should pay rent even though the group is meeting virtually. Some shared that groups were paying rent to “hold” their spots.
- Discussed whether groups will still offer Zoom meetings when they do meet face-to-face.
- One group is still trying to decide to change from call-in meetings to Zoom.
- Connecting members to sponsors is a struggle and trying to find a system that would be helpful while meeting virtually.
- If a group loses its venue, are they still considered to be a legitimate meeting?
- WSO registered online groups; should those meetings still be listed on the AIS directory; they are not connected to a District or Area.
The next Council meeting is Thursday, February 11th.
Attendance: 21 members
Thank you for your donations and for your support of AIS!
Our funding now comes primarily from:
*Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
*Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations to:
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
Donate Now
Our funding now comes primarily from:
*Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
*Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations to:
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
Donate Now