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Welcome Newcomer!
Find a Meeting
 May 2021

April Is Alcohol Awareness Month

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​*1 in 5 US adults has been harmed by someone’s alcoholism. Al-Anon provides support to anyone affected by someone else's alcohol addiction or alcohol use disorder, regardless of whether sobriety is present. *Journal of Studies on Alcohol & Drugs (from Al-Anon’s WSO’s Facebook home page)

Electronic Meetings, One Year Later
by Eric G

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​It was the April 2020 issue of the Bits when I began as the Bits Editor, and it was also the start of the COVID pandemic and Zoom meetings. I interviewed a few members back then for the Bits, asking them how they felt about electronic meetings. I thought it would be interesting to interview some members and revisit those initial thoughts and feelings, as well as explore how the past 12 months have changed.

When the pandemic first started, how long did you think we would be doing meetings on Zoom?

Emily S: I really thought we would be doing them for a few months, then back to being in person again.  Was I wrong!

William P: I couldn’t think about how long we would be at it. I just put my head down and trudged thru it like walking thru the mud. One day at a time.

Dave L: I thought at first, we'd be doing Zoom meetings for about 6 months.

How did you like the meetings then (at the start of COVID), and how do you like the meetings now?

Emily S: I thought it was fun at first because I could stay in my pajamas during meetings (yay!), but around early Fall, it started to grow less fun as I became more disconnected from the world.

William P: I have grown to like them more and more, but they kinda make me feel a little hollow because they’re still not “real.”

Dave L: I haven't liked the Zoom meetings at all, in the beginning, or now. But I am very grateful that they have kept us going and in touch with each other. I'm grateful to everyone who tunes in and shares and especially grateful for the tech-savvy folks who have stepped up their service to keep us going.

As we enter a new stage in the pandemic, with more people getting vaccines, are you excited at the thought of in-person meetings?  Or have you been conditioned to be hesitant when you hear about in-person gatherings?

Emily S: I’m excited, but I am afraid to be excited.

William P: Yeah, both really. I tried to use the program as much as I could during this time, hoping to draw parallels between the virus and the alcoholic in my life.  But that proved fruitless as they are not the same.  It was much more complicated than that.  I can’t think of in-person meetings yet.  I honestly can’t.  I’ve been wrong too many times about this virus that I’ve given up trying to figure it out.

Dave L: I think we need to get back to in-person as soon as our host buildings let us — following guidelines, of course.  Many people live in small places with others and don't have the true privacy they need.  I've had to be on my phone in the kitchen or outside. Some people live with abusive partners and don't have the freedom to get away to meetings outside the home.  I have heard people in the background a few times, which compromises the anonymity of us all.

Lastly, what was your go-to snack during meetings?

Emily S: Definitely, gummy worms.

William P:  Haha, really just some of those seltzer waters in a can.  I love those. And popcorn.

Dave L: My go-to snack has been a cup of tea with lots of honey.

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WSO Is Hiring!

The Al-Anon World Service Organization is looking for a Director of Programs.  The job is very important, and a very seriously organized person is required. One positive job benefit listed in the job description is 4-6 weeks of travel(!!!)  Not listed are the employee benefits like vacation time, paid lunch breaks (?), Christmas bonuses, and all those little details you love getting in a job.  The job location is in the resort city of Virginia Beach, VA, home of the WSO headquarters.

Need a Free Newcomer Packet?

Anyone local to Seattle who is a newcomer and wants an individual newcomer packet (or in Spanish too!), please send an email to LDC@seattle-al-anon.org with the name and mailing address.
​​AIS Council
​
Meeting


Thursday, April 8th, 730p - 9p
Electronic Meeting

Join Zoom Meeting:
Click Here
​
Meeting ID: 839 6957 0120
Passcode: 001086

The AIS Council Meeting is the business meeting for the Greater Seattle Al-Anon Information Service. Each Group has a vote and is encouraged to send a representative.
All Al-Anon members are invited to attend.

AIS Open Position: Web Editor (re-post)
​by Eric G

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An essential service  position within Seattle AIS (Al-Anon Information Service) is open and waiting for just the right person.  The web editor position implies good communication skills, attention to detail, and the ability to work well with others. As members under the Communications umbrella (Communications Coordinator, Events Editor, Newsletter Editor, Meeting Directory Editor, and Web Editor), we work together to adhere to Al-Anon traditions while following our website guidelines. Other editors maintain the Bits web pages and the Events pages, while the web editor would be responsible for our "static" pages. The involvement of the other editors greatly reduces the time required for updating.
 
To keep abreast of what is happening within AIS, Council/Board meeting attendance is encouraged. 
 
For a complete listing of job duties from the Seattle AIS Bylaws, see below:
 
​*Act as webmaster for the AIS website. 
 
*Maintain the site on a platform that does not require special web skills so the position can be easily passed on to the next Editor. 
 
*Publish content, maintain continuity of themes, design layout, and streamline navigation of the site.
 
*Keep the site up to date by ensuring that content is current, engaging, and accurate.
 
*Ensure that questions sent to the webmaster by members are answered promptly.
 
*Keep search engine information up to date to ensure that users find our site and get accurate AIS information.

 
The website that we use also provides guidance here.

​

Step Four
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
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Free Shipping Extended (again, again)!

We are excited to help our members (within Districts 14-22) during this difficult time. We are continuing our sale
until JUNE 30th. Free shipping and no WSO surcharge for orders that are placed and paid online.  We will strive to ship orders by the Thursday after payment is received.  Literature order forms are available at https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/literature.html.  For easy processing, follow the instructions on the literature order forms and email LDC@seattle-al-anon.org.  The office will remain closed until further notice.

Results of the Pre-Con Voting Assembly

Proposed Motion 1: Eliminate the line item in the WA Area Al-Anon Family Group budget
that provides funding or reimbursement for past WA Area Delegates or past Trustees
from WA Area to attend any Assembly, AWSC, or Al-Anon/Alateen event.

VOTE PASSED - 69 Yes, 27 No, 4 Abstain

Proposed Motion 2: To amend the WA Area AFG Bylaws Article 5, section 1 to state,
Officers… “are elected for a three year term from Area Officers, Area Coordinators, and
District Representatives, past or present.”

VOTE PASSED - 97 Yes, 94 No, 2 Abstain

Proposed Motion 3: To rescind the 2006 Pre-Con motion requiring $5 for an electronic
subscription to the Washington Wanderings Newsletter.

VOTE PASSED - 88 Yes, 0 No, 2 Abstain

UPDATED MOTION 4: For a three year trial period, at the end of each calendar year, WA
Area AFG will set aside 50% of the money above the Ample Reserve (formerly Prudent
Reserve), defined as the excess funds, for Area projects while sending the other 50% to
WSO. The excess funds will be spent on WA Area Outreach, Alateen, operational or on
other WA Area special projects.

Each year, the WA Area Chair will appoint an advisory committee of up to 7 members to
include the Chair and Delegate to determine how to spend the excess funds during the
new year. If any excess funds remain unspent during the new year, those funds will
return to the Area.

VOTE PASSED - 70 Yes, 13 No, 3 Abstain
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VOTE PASSED - 77 Yes, 0 No, 1 Abstain

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A Different Perspective on Enabling

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I am going to discuss a different perspective on enabling. How the scourge of alcoholism and resulting family dysfunction can enable the commandeering of the Al-Anon’s life. Part of my program is to journal out my emotions, keep a log of experiences, and to execute an autopsy post interaction with my relationships. As I look back over months and even years of interactions, living within the walls and daily events of craziness and chaos, I see very little room for me. I feel trapped inside this insidious bondage of worry and over-responsibility. Fearing this loved one will die if I move on, and actually invest in my life. My mind swirls in guilt and “what ifs” at the thought of it.
 
As I review my journals, page after page reveals verbal abuse, raging, blame shifting, gaslighting, mocking, and flagrant disrespect. The alcoholic demands, acts helpless, and bullies. I have recently gone back to school, and too often I cannot concentrate and end up with tremendous anxiety after seeing or talking to the alcoholic that I live with. They act out in immaturity and entitlement, break promises, and hurl complaints at me like flaming arrows! Then the intermittent sweetness, the semi rationality, and I become even more confused. I am often left physically and emotionally drained, and in psychological anguish. I am not living.
 
It is so mind bending that they can act so “normal” and reasonable with other people. I am practicing steps to unentangle from apparent familial enmeshment and my over-functioning empathy and responsibility. I realize that the alcoholic has been regulating their emotions on top of me, and using anger and anxiety to manipulate me. Then I feel sorry for them, and get hooked back in. I can’t stand to see them in physical or emotional pain. It is hard to wrap my mind around the idea that I am allowing this to happen, and I have such clouded thinking around it. Clarity comes when I am doubled over in emotional pain.
 
I am doing an inventory of my behavior. I am too often driven by a mixture of love, guilt, and fear, trying to “help” or make life “better” for the alcoholic. No matter the motivation, I am enabling an alcoholic. I am giving chunks of my power and serenity away, even though it feels so bad to stop. I am incrementally allowing myself to disengage from the mayhem, and allow the alcoholic to be responsible for themselves. It is amazing how capable the alcoholic becomes when I establish boundaries, albeit withstanding the fallout. The first part of the slogan; “Live and Let Live,” is about ME! It’s time to start LIVING!

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Enjoy Talking on the Phone or Sleeping on the Job?

Seattle Al-Anon Information Service (AIS) Is Looking for Phone Volunteers!

Shifts are available 7 days a week in 3-hour intervals starting at 7am during the day, and at night there is one shift starting at 10:30pm, which goes until 7am.

The focus is to answer questions about Al-Anon and Alateen’s meeting times and Zoom availability, to give hope to people whose lives may be affected by someone else’s drinking, and to help others reach the appropriate source of help.

A manual is provided with resource numbers and helpful suggestions on maintaining anonymity and talking to people in distress.

FOR INFORMATION, PLEASE CONTACT
phones@seattle-al-anon.org

Are You a Photographer?

The newsletter is looking for new and interesting local photographs to use in each issue! If you'd like your photo considered for use in our next issue, please email it to newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org
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Would You Like to Read the Forum Online?

For the same price as the print version, members may choose to read the Forum electronically.  Please read the details here.

The Wednesday Workshop Series

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April 7th Alcoholism and Intimacy
April 14th Building and Rebuilding Trust
April 21st Communicating Clearly
April 28th Negotiating Boundaries
May 5th Spiritual Solutions
May 12th Expressing Gratitude
When confronted with the idea of intimacy, many of us stop short. Intimacy, as we come to learn in Al-Anon, is not exclusively sexual, but rather includes feelings of closeness, safety, connectedness, and trust. Each of us may experience intimacy in our relationships with others, with ourselves, and with our Higher Power. The effects of alcoholism, however, can stand between us and others, affecting our ability to experience closeness in relationships in a healthy way.

​It is not a terribly common topic for a meeting, so we are excited to bring back this popular workshop. Please join us each week as our guest speakers share on a variety of topics outlined in Al-Anon’s CAL “Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships” (B-33). 

From the Archives
by Eric G

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One fun thing I’ve started doing is digitizing the cassette tape collection.  The going is very slow, as they require the cassette to play at regular speed.  There is no instant download option. My first ever digitized cassette was a tape titled “What’s Drunk, Mama?” To my knowledge, it is long out of print and started as a children's book. (Btw, her hands in the picture are way too big for her face, and makes me laugh. Once you see them, you can't unsee them. No way are those her hands!) I am in contact with WSO about possibly being able to post this and other WSO cassette tapes on our website.  I think that they will say no, but I will keep trying.  

​​I recently started digitizing our collection of tapes from the 1990 International Conference held in Seattle.  The International Conference is held every five years, and was a massive event for the city's Al-Anon members. These tapes are “ours” in that we bought the cassettes from the store, but since they contain WSO-level material, we cannot place them on our website without their permission. Currently, the only way to listen to this 1990 Seattle conference is by coming into the office (currently closed), finding a seat, and plugging in your headphones. I'm exploring every option, and as a lover of history and archives, I find this process challenging.  If you were present at this event, or know someone who was, please have them contact me at archives@seattle-al-anon.org.  I'd like to know more about this event.

In other, more positive news: with the help of some members, I think I have put a name to the type of display case that would be perfect for our AIS office: a barrister.  I had no idea what a barrister was before, but once I saw it, I thought it would be perfect.

Thank you for letting me serve!

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Help Bring Us Diversity

AIS is looking for new leaders to write for the Bits Newsletter!  Writers who identify with the LGBTQIA2+ community, or are BIPOC, and would like to contribute to the Bits, on any Al-Anon topic, please let us know at newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org

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Tradition Four
​Each group should be autonomous, except in matters affecting another group or Al-Anon or AA as a whole.

Al-Anon Slogan Crossword

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ACROSS
1. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come ____ to you? A stick.

DOWN
2. Where do toy stores ____ the Arnold Schwarzenegger action figures? Aisle B, back.
3. ______ to America (1988 film)

Al-Anon Mailbag

Alex D from Wedgwood asks, "What does LDC mean, exactly?"

A: Thanks Alex!  I had to ask LDC to make sure I included everything.  This is what they sent me: 

​
This is from WSO Guideline 18 (G-18). Al-Anon Literature Distribution Centers (LDCs) provide Al-Anon members with local access and quick delivery of Al-Anon books, pamphlets, booklets, kits, posters, films, guidelines and other Al-Anon material. The LDC and WSO work in partnership to carry the message of hope and recovery through our Conference Approved Literature and service tools. An LDC’s surplus earnings are used to support other local Al-Anon services.
​
You might check out this Guideline for more information: G18.pdf (al-anon.org)
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​​AIS Needs You!

Current Service
​
Opportunities


*Web Editor*
*Office Volunteers*
*Phone Volunteers*

​
If you are interested in a particular area of service,
please contact 
chair@seattle-al-anon.org
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Al-Anon Joke of the Month
What is the Al-Anon Handshake?
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Point finger and shake at someone else!

Do you have a funny or not so funny Al-Anon joke?  Please send it along to ​newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org

Al-Anon Book Review: Living with Sobriety: Another Beginning
by Eric G

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This book was recommended to me by the alcoholic in my life, as she has been 18 months now sober. To both of us, her sobriety is important, but to me, my own recovery has become more important than her recovery.  This is an important lesson I learned in Al-Anon, as I used to put her recovery first, ahead of mine, all of the time.  This sobriety period has taken some adjustments, but overall it has been a smoother transition than I had hoped.
 
The reason I bring this up is because the book, Living With Sobriety: Another Beginning, focuses on this very issue. There are many nuggets of wisdom! The pages I do love are the 1-2 pages of Al-Anon text at the beginning of each chapter (the rest of each chapter is filled with member shares). On the introductory page is this powerful line, "After the years of anger and fear, recriminations and regrets, the loss of health, the financial insecurity, the emotional distress, the loss of faith - after all that, why isn't sobriety the end of the long search for those who love someone who suffers from the disease of alcoholism?" (p. 5). Right away, this book reached me.
 
When the chapter titled “Disappointments” mentioned expectations, again, my brain perked up because I used to have too many expectations that often failed, leaving me heartbroken and calloused.  "Numb from battles we didn't start on battlegrounds we didn't choose, we no longer expected anything.  We mistook the absence of pain for happiness" (p. 28). Also, this line spoke right to my soul because even today, I cannot allow myself to be comfortable to have any expectations other than to just … be, like in the present tense.
 
The chapter on fear (titled "Courage") was too brief, but it is something I've been thinking about recently.  "What will I do if he [she] drinks again?" (p. 18) is something I think about but cannot vocalize very well.  Of course, I cannot worry about her well-being in a future drinking world that may never exist, but there are some details that I do need to figure out ahead of time for my own sanity now.  I do not have fears of relapse, but I can't put my head in the sand and not prepare for it a little.
 
Finally, the last chapter titled "Happiness" is my favorite.  Happiness is something that, to me, is not given but earned.  It's not easy to attain, but it is, in a way.  Happiness has been my personal life goal.  When I read that "There is more to happiness than our memory of it.  The feeling we get when we actively experience a joyous moment today exceeds the feeling of comfort we try to create by remembering when we used to be happy" (p. 43), I had to think about this for a long time.  Happiness is about not how I felt in the past or the future, but how I am feeling now, as in right now. 
 
I'm glad I could read this book and have it apply to me.  When I started Al-Anon, the alcoholic in my life was an active drinker, and if someone had told me that one day this book will apply to you, it would have given me hope.  Back then, I thought I had no hope, but I did discover hope within myself and for myself, even if I had lost hope for my alcoholic to quit drinking. I don't know how long this dry period will last. No one knows; it could be a day or forever.  What I've gotten from this book is to not worry about that and enjoy the present.

Concept Four
​​
Participation is the key to harmony.
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Feeling Scatterbrained with Your Thoughts? It Might Help to Write Things Down.

If you ever feel like you would like to write something for the newsletter, please ​let us know at
​newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org

​
Pen Names Accepted
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It Was 20 Years Ago Today...
Clips taken from the May 2001 Bits Newsletter

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February 2021 AIS Council Meeting Minutes
by BZ W

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Treasurer’s Report: Monthly Reports: Mariann M reviewed the Statement of Activity for January 2021. Donations and Sales exceeded expenses for the month. Seventeen groups made donations to AIS. Mariann M is continuing to train with Linda H.

From the Vice-Chair: Bylaws Committee meeting will be held on Feb. 15th. Involves members from past and current AIS Boards. The committee is charged with updating the Bylaws from 2016. The Policy Manual was updated in 2018, and there are some conflicts with the Bylaws.

From Chair: Announced opened positions:

Secretary: BZ W stood for the position and was voted unanimously.
The ASL request for support has not been brought back to Council at this time.

Coordinator Reports
Alateen Coordinator: Kathy B has been receiving phone calls about Alateen meetings. There were no virtual or in-person meetings until recently. A new Saturday meeting will be starting virtually soon. She has been working with the Area Alateen Coordinators. District 20 will provide the Zoom account. The goal is to start in March. AMIAS recertification is available for 2021, and Kathy B has the information for upcoming online training.

Archives Coordinator: Eric G is coordinating with Doug L to get into the office and start sorting through the boxes. Still looking for a display case (Librarian style with glass).

Communications Coordinator: Cheré F reviewed the Communications Team. The Newsletter continues to have interesting articles with several newer submissions from members. Susan CH continues to work on a meeting directory that will be easily updated when we switch back to in-person meetings. A goal of the website is to update the Spanish language page to verify whether it is accurate and informative. We have been experiencing issues with the marketing feature of Weebly, and emails have not been going out to the distribution list. We have over 700 email addresses on the list and typically send out two email blasts each month.

Phone Volunteer Coordinator: Dave M says he is still learning and needs more volunteers to cover 2-3 shifts 9:30 am – 7 pm. They logged 74 calls, and 10 am- 7 pm during the week is busiest. Some newcomers do not leave a message. Hope to set up a Zoom tea with volunteers soon.

LDC Co-Coordinators: Doug L and Julie R are restocking and sent out 73 newcomer’s packets with their $0.75 stamp. Free postage to the Seattle area. Working on a Spanish Literature update as well.

Outreach Coordinators: Open
Outreach projects are available. Family of Alcoholics - volunteers are needed in rehab.

Tech Coordinator: Jeff M stepped down, and Doug L and Susan CH are helping with Office 365. They can share information.  Need to have Zoom training of Office 365.

New Business: Eliza D shared “Lois Remembers,” and our birthday is 70th, so she asked we bring it up in meetings. It is not Lois’s birthday but the program’s.

Do we want to do District celebrations? Ideas? Looking at dates.

Announcements: 7th Tradition donations. Next meeting is March 11, 2021

Attendance: 23 members

Thank you for your donations and for your support of AIS!
Our funding now comes primarily from:
*Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
*Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations to:
Seattle AIS
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
​Donate Now

And More...

NEW MEETING SCHEDULE: We are excited to announce the new and improved meeting schedule of registered Al-Anon groups in the Greater Seattle Area.  All virtual and in-person meetings are listed.  
NEW Meeting Schedule
Please visit our Members page for the most up-to-date information on:
  • List of AIS Officers and Coordinators
  • Where to Send Donations
  • District Representatives and Business Meeting Information
  • AIS Financial Information​
  • Calendar of Events
OUR OFFICE IS TEMPORARILY CLOSED DUE TO COVID-19. WE ARE STILL SHIPPING LITERATURE. ORDERING INFORMATION, HERE.
Office Address: 
509 10th Ave E  #100, Seattle, WA 98102  Mailing Address: 505 Broadway E #400, Seattle, WA  98102-5023  MAP
Email us. Talk with a member - 206.625.0000

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