Al-Anon Poem of the Month |
|
Good Friday, 2021
by Stephen
Leaping, diving, headlong
Blindfolded into the future
The past falling in pieces behind
Burdened by the things I wish I didn't carry
And can't bear to leave behind
In flight, in falling, in time
I feel the strands trailing
Fanning, swinging, uncoiling
Gravity tugs/ winds/ hauls me down/ in
Faith warms the flyer
Hope is in the wings
I am waiting
to get caught
to grab hold, or
to take flight.
If you have an Al-Anon poem that you'd like to submit, please send it to newsletter@seattle-al-anon.org. Anonymous submissions accepted.
by Stephen
Leaping, diving, headlong
Blindfolded into the future
The past falling in pieces behind
Burdened by the things I wish I didn't carry
And can't bear to leave behind
In flight, in falling, in time
I feel the strands trailing
Fanning, swinging, uncoiling
Gravity tugs/ winds/ hauls me down/ in
Faith warms the flyer
Hope is in the wings
I am waiting
to get caught
to grab hold, or
to take flight.
If you have an Al-Anon poem that you'd like to submit, please send it to newsletter@seattle-al-anon.org. Anonymous submissions accepted.
Everyone Is Welcome to Attend the Summer Seminar Assembly (SSA) Workshops
|
|
Summer Seminar Assembly is a WA Area event for ALL members, not just those in service to the various service arms. The headline on this year’s flyer says, SSA 2021: A Weekend of Virtual Workshops. And, in my experience, that is what it has always been. It is a terrific opportunity to learn more about the principles of our program and experience personal growth, along with practical tips on how to keep our Groups healthy and functioning.
This year’s event is no different. It is loaded with nine workshops on topics including conflict resolution, tips and tricks for creating effective flyers, inventories, safety in Groups, exploring one’s leadership qualities, healthy sponsorship, virtual meetings, the Concepts, and how to handle Group funds from setting up a bank account to 7th Tradition funds distribution. All members are encouraged to attend. Come and go depending on which portion of the weekend interests you.
And workshops aren’t the full story. SSA stands for Summer Seminar Assembly. Its stated purpose is to supply a vehicle for the WA Area Delegate to report back to WA state members on the World Service Conference. This year’s report will be given by Delegate Kathy D on Saturday evening from 6:00 to 7:30. I have always found the Delegate’s report to be quite fascinating. It usually includes WSO financial information and the upcoming plans for Al-Anon worldwide.
Another element of the weekend is 3 Al-Anon meetings. I have tried to attend all of these meetings at past SSA’s. It is a great opportunity to hear the experience, strength, and hope of members from other parts of our state. And, of course, maybe share your own!
This year’s spiritual speaker is Ruth F at noon on Sunday. The title of her talk is Whose Corner Am I In?
Please check out the event flyer as well as the flyers for the individual workshops. Please remember to get the connection information from your GR or DR in advance of the May 21-23 weekend. There is no registration. Just join in and find out more about our program.
This year’s event is no different. It is loaded with nine workshops on topics including conflict resolution, tips and tricks for creating effective flyers, inventories, safety in Groups, exploring one’s leadership qualities, healthy sponsorship, virtual meetings, the Concepts, and how to handle Group funds from setting up a bank account to 7th Tradition funds distribution. All members are encouraged to attend. Come and go depending on which portion of the weekend interests you.
And workshops aren’t the full story. SSA stands for Summer Seminar Assembly. Its stated purpose is to supply a vehicle for the WA Area Delegate to report back to WA state members on the World Service Conference. This year’s report will be given by Delegate Kathy D on Saturday evening from 6:00 to 7:30. I have always found the Delegate’s report to be quite fascinating. It usually includes WSO financial information and the upcoming plans for Al-Anon worldwide.
Another element of the weekend is 3 Al-Anon meetings. I have tried to attend all of these meetings at past SSA’s. It is a great opportunity to hear the experience, strength, and hope of members from other parts of our state. And, of course, maybe share your own!
This year’s spiritual speaker is Ruth F at noon on Sunday. The title of her talk is Whose Corner Am I In?
Please check out the event flyer as well as the flyers for the individual workshops. Please remember to get the connection information from your GR or DR in advance of the May 21-23 weekend. There is no registration. Just join in and find out more about our program.
An Outreach Coordinator in Each Group
|
|
As their project for 2021, the WA Area Public Outreach Committee decided to encourage each group to have an Outreach position. The thinking is that the individual Groups and their members supply the “feet on the ground” that get the work done. Each Group is asked to get the Al-Anon message of recovery to their community who are still suffering. Lots of questions have come up about exactly what groups are asked to do. We hope you will find these responses helpful.
The Service Manual states that the GR (Group Representative) is the outreach person for the group. Why are you suggesting a separate outreach position?
Group Reps have lots to do, and having a Group Outreach Coordinator can add energy and more focus on outreach service in their community. Having more members serve can be a win-win, sharing the many benefits of serving.
What would the Group Outreach Coordinator do? How would that look in my Group?
There are as many ways to approach this as there are Groups! The size and existing service structure of the Group will, most likely, determine how the position functions in the Group. For Groups in the AIS area, it might look something like this scenario:
1. Choose a Group Outreach Coordinator
2. The Group Outreach Coordinator would ask members to volunteer on a Task Force.
3. The Task Force would narrow the outreach options down and bring recommendations back to the Group after first checking with the GR, DR or District Outreach Coordinator, and the AIS Outreach Co-Coordinators to ensure there is no overlap between their selected projects and another service arm.
4. The Group conscience then would decide on a project that meets the Group’s resource level.
5. The GR or Group Outreach Coordinator would then report the Group’s decision to the District and AIS Outreach. For smaller Groups, the entire Group might act as the Task Force.
Is there a list of possible options so we don’t spend our time reinventing the wheel — options that we can do while meeting virtually? And, what about small Groups?
We created a WA AREA OUTREACH TAKE-OUT MENU with options for groups of all sizes and resource levels. All menu options are designed as activities that can be performed while the COVID-19 restrictions are in place. We suggest first reading over the list to see what sparks your interest.
We do LOVE to hear from members. Please let us know if you have more questions. Our delight in sharing outreach ideas is a meaningful part of our recovery work. Thank you for this opportunity!
The Service Manual states that the GR (Group Representative) is the outreach person for the group. Why are you suggesting a separate outreach position?
Group Reps have lots to do, and having a Group Outreach Coordinator can add energy and more focus on outreach service in their community. Having more members serve can be a win-win, sharing the many benefits of serving.
What would the Group Outreach Coordinator do? How would that look in my Group?
There are as many ways to approach this as there are Groups! The size and existing service structure of the Group will, most likely, determine how the position functions in the Group. For Groups in the AIS area, it might look something like this scenario:
1. Choose a Group Outreach Coordinator
2. The Group Outreach Coordinator would ask members to volunteer on a Task Force.
3. The Task Force would narrow the outreach options down and bring recommendations back to the Group after first checking with the GR, DR or District Outreach Coordinator, and the AIS Outreach Co-Coordinators to ensure there is no overlap between their selected projects and another service arm.
4. The Group conscience then would decide on a project that meets the Group’s resource level.
5. The GR or Group Outreach Coordinator would then report the Group’s decision to the District and AIS Outreach. For smaller Groups, the entire Group might act as the Task Force.
Is there a list of possible options so we don’t spend our time reinventing the wheel — options that we can do while meeting virtually? And, what about small Groups?
We created a WA AREA OUTREACH TAKE-OUT MENU with options for groups of all sizes and resource levels. All menu options are designed as activities that can be performed while the COVID-19 restrictions are in place. We suggest first reading over the list to see what sparks your interest.
We do LOVE to hear from members. Please let us know if you have more questions. Our delight in sharing outreach ideas is a meaningful part of our recovery work. Thank you for this opportunity!
Al-Anon's 70th Anniversary Celebration
|
AIS Council Meeting Thursday, May 13th, 730p - 9p Electronic Meeting Join Zoom Meeting: Click Here Meeting ID: 839 6957 0120 Passcode: 001086 The AIS Council Meeting is the business meeting for the Greater Seattle Al-Anon Information Service. Each Group has a vote and is encouraged to send a representative. All Al-Anon members are invited to attend. Need a Free Newcomer Packet?Anyone local to Seattle who is a newcomer and wants an individual newcomer packet (or in Spanish too!), please send an email to LDC@seattle-al-anon.org with the name and mailing address.
|
Practicing the Principles
|
photo courtesy of Marjorie S
|
When I was working on Step Four with my sponsor, she had me create a fear list. One of the first things on the list was, "I will have to take care of my mom." I’d been in Al-Anon for a few years when this "fear" materialized. My mother was having memory issues and was ultimately diagnosed with dementia. I flew to Houston thinking I would be there at most 6 weeks. I used Step 12 – practicing these (Al-Anon) principles in all our affairs, to get through the hardest parts of the ordeal. Chief among these principles was reliance on my Higher Power (HP) and patience. I didn’t know what to do much of the time, and I had to ask my HP for guidance and then wait for an answer. Early on, I established boundaries but was open to modifying them when warranted. My sister and I had to determine what kinds of financial burdens we were responsible for and what we would expect our mother to be responsible for.
Using Tradition Two, trying to be open-minded and humble, I regularly consulted with my sister, my mom, and others with similar experiences rather than making decisions on my own. Due to dementia, my mother would confuse me with my sister or my Aunt; I used the acronym QTIP (Quit Taking It Personally) to cope and remember that it was her disease and not her. I practiced self-care regularly by taking walks, attending Al-Anon meetings on Zoom, attending caregiver support groups, doing yoga, meditating, getting out of the apartment, and letting myself cry when I felt overwhelmed. I even requested that my sister fly from overseas to give me a small break when I realized I would be in Houston much longer than anticipated. This was a huge ask given the worldwide pandemic and quarantine issues. There were a few times when my mom and I locked horns. I had to detach with love and respect; I took walks to calm down so I wouldn’t say something I didn’t mean. There was a specific instance when I thought she was purposefully difficult, and I responded unkindly. Later, I realized I had not given her the benefit of the doubt. I hated humbling myself and practicing Step Ten, but I apologized that night, and we both came to a better understanding of each other. Throughout the five months I spent in Houston, away from my husband and children, I practiced gratitude daily. As luck would have it, my flight home was canceled due to the now infamous Winter storm. I had no power or potable water for an extended period. This was a great opportunity to flex my gratitude muscle. Among the many things to be grateful for, my Airbnb host had a gas fireplace and gas stove, enabling me to get warm and heat canned food. She also charged my cell phone with her car. My mom was in assisted living by that point, and I knew she was well cared for. I continue to use the principle of Al-Anon in my daily life, and I am so grateful for the tools the program has given me.
Using Tradition Two, trying to be open-minded and humble, I regularly consulted with my sister, my mom, and others with similar experiences rather than making decisions on my own. Due to dementia, my mother would confuse me with my sister or my Aunt; I used the acronym QTIP (Quit Taking It Personally) to cope and remember that it was her disease and not her. I practiced self-care regularly by taking walks, attending Al-Anon meetings on Zoom, attending caregiver support groups, doing yoga, meditating, getting out of the apartment, and letting myself cry when I felt overwhelmed. I even requested that my sister fly from overseas to give me a small break when I realized I would be in Houston much longer than anticipated. This was a huge ask given the worldwide pandemic and quarantine issues. There were a few times when my mom and I locked horns. I had to detach with love and respect; I took walks to calm down so I wouldn’t say something I didn’t mean. There was a specific instance when I thought she was purposefully difficult, and I responded unkindly. Later, I realized I had not given her the benefit of the doubt. I hated humbling myself and practicing Step Ten, but I apologized that night, and we both came to a better understanding of each other. Throughout the five months I spent in Houston, away from my husband and children, I practiced gratitude daily. As luck would have it, my flight home was canceled due to the now infamous Winter storm. I had no power or potable water for an extended period. This was a great opportunity to flex my gratitude muscle. Among the many things to be grateful for, my Airbnb host had a gas fireplace and gas stove, enabling me to get warm and heat canned food. She also charged my cell phone with her car. My mom was in assisted living by that point, and I knew she was well cared for. I continue to use the principle of Al-Anon in my daily life, and I am so grateful for the tools the program has given me.
|
Step Five
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 
|
Free Shipping Extended (again, again)! We are excited to help our members (within Districts 14-22) during this difficult time. We are continuing our sale until JUNE 30th. Free shipping and no WSO surcharge for orders that are placed and paid online. We will strive to ship orders by the Thursday after payment is received. Literature order forms are available at https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/literature.html. For easy processing, follow the instructions on the literature order forms and email LDC@seattle-al-anon.org. The office will remain closed until further notice. |
Keeping the Focus on Myself
|
photo courtesy of Marjorie S
|
“If only they would change.” “I just wish they were different.” “I’ll be happy when . . . (fill in the blank).” For those of us in Al-Anon, those may be familiar mantras. It certainly was true for me. I looked at my circumstances, felt uncomfortable and sought solutions outside of myself, usually from the alcoholic. It’s what brought me into the program. I hoped to find the missing piece that would fix them, mistakenly believing the answers to my anxiety, anger, or grief were in someone else. I learned otherwise. I learned to focus on myself.
Like many of us, I spent a lifetime focusing on others for survival and the shift to my own life was uncomfortable. It meant feeling painful feelings I had avoided by fixating on others. It meant taking responsibility for my actions after convincing myself I was the victim. It meant looking at how my misguided attempts to help contributed to the problem.
Our literature is filled with wise counsel on the subject. “When we cease to live our own lives because we are so preoccupied with the lives of others, our behavior is motivated by fear. Not only is it harmful to a relationship ..., but (sic) it is also extremely self-destructive” (How Al-Anon Works, p. 82). “Often, a very legitimate need or desire goes unrecognized because we expect that need to be met by someone else” (p. 83). My unmet needs and misplaced expectations only lead me to more uncomfortable feelings I was trying to avoid.
It’s not easy keeping the focus where it belongs. It felt natural to leave the center of my being and slip unconsciously into someone else’s life. It would start with genuine compassion and mysteriously morph into obsession. Focusing on others was an acutely honed skill that I practiced over a lifetime. Bringing the focus back to the reality of my own life, feelings, needs, and wants took time and practice, lots of practice. It’s not easy. But it’s worth it.
When I shifted the focus back to myself, I began the journey to wholeness. Instead of reacting to others, I explored my values and acted accordingly. I began to address long neglected physical and mental health needs. I explored a meaningful relationship with my Higher Power instead of seeking the God that other people seemed to have. I rekindled former friendships. I resurrected a former hobby, pottery, that I had put aside long ago. As I reconnected with myself, I began to trust myself. I began modeling healthier behavior for my family as I figured out what boundaries I needed to keep me free of resentments. Perhaps the biggest reward was finding genuine compassion where judgement once was. There are countless benefits to keeping the focus on myself, not only for myself, but also for those I so dearly love.
“By learning to focus on ourselves, we grow in self-awareness and self-esteem. We come to realize that we are deserving of our own attention and that we are worthy of love and respect” (Opening Our Hearts, Transforming Our Losses, p. 168).
Like many of us, I spent a lifetime focusing on others for survival and the shift to my own life was uncomfortable. It meant feeling painful feelings I had avoided by fixating on others. It meant taking responsibility for my actions after convincing myself I was the victim. It meant looking at how my misguided attempts to help contributed to the problem.
Our literature is filled with wise counsel on the subject. “When we cease to live our own lives because we are so preoccupied with the lives of others, our behavior is motivated by fear. Not only is it harmful to a relationship ..., but (sic) it is also extremely self-destructive” (How Al-Anon Works, p. 82). “Often, a very legitimate need or desire goes unrecognized because we expect that need to be met by someone else” (p. 83). My unmet needs and misplaced expectations only lead me to more uncomfortable feelings I was trying to avoid.
It’s not easy keeping the focus where it belongs. It felt natural to leave the center of my being and slip unconsciously into someone else’s life. It would start with genuine compassion and mysteriously morph into obsession. Focusing on others was an acutely honed skill that I practiced over a lifetime. Bringing the focus back to the reality of my own life, feelings, needs, and wants took time and practice, lots of practice. It’s not easy. But it’s worth it.
When I shifted the focus back to myself, I began the journey to wholeness. Instead of reacting to others, I explored my values and acted accordingly. I began to address long neglected physical and mental health needs. I explored a meaningful relationship with my Higher Power instead of seeking the God that other people seemed to have. I rekindled former friendships. I resurrected a former hobby, pottery, that I had put aside long ago. As I reconnected with myself, I began to trust myself. I began modeling healthier behavior for my family as I figured out what boundaries I needed to keep me free of resentments. Perhaps the biggest reward was finding genuine compassion where judgement once was. There are countless benefits to keeping the focus on myself, not only for myself, but also for those I so dearly love.
“By learning to focus on ourselves, we grow in self-awareness and self-esteem. We come to realize that we are deserving of our own attention and that we are worthy of love and respect” (Opening Our Hearts, Transforming Our Losses, p. 168).
Help Bring Us DiversityAIS is looking for new leaders to write for the Bits Newsletter! Writers who identify with the LGBTQIA2+ community, or are BIPOC, and would like to contribute to the Bits, on any Al-Anon topic, please let us know at newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org
|
The Second Oldest Al-Anon Group in Washington State Is Also Celebrating Its 70th Anniversary!
|
Stay Out of the Cage! |
|
There is generational alcoholism in my family, and I am currently living with that well-oiled, cunning disease on a day-to-day basis. My sanity, serenity, and identity have been under attack since I moved back to this vicinity saturated with the insidious dynamics of familial alcoholism. When I lived over 1000 miles away, a visit could take weeks to recover from. Now I am barely surviving, as my world is consistently impacted by the irresponsible, irrational, and often abusive behaviors of the alcoholic. Sometimes just navigating the inevitable pitfalls and potholes seems to be the best I can do.
However, when I consistently engage with my recovery tools, my life is more manageable. One of the life preservers of the Al-Anon program is listening to speaker meeting podcasts while I am in my car. Father Tom W has been my humorous and insightful companion on many nights as I drive around praying, crying, and processing my ragged emotions.
One story he tells has hit home. It goes something like this: “Alcoholism is a lot like dancing with a gorilla. You’re not done dancing until the gorilla is done dancing.” An Al-Anon goes to the zoo and becomes terrified when they see their loved one dancing with the gorilla! They frantically think: “I NEED TO DO SOMETHING!” Suddenly we find ourselves in the cage! Vacuuming, cooking nutritious meals, trying to get in between our loved one and the gorilla. The problem is, the gorilla isn’t ready to let go, and they will rip the arms and legs off of the person trying to get between them and the alcoholic. The moral of the story is: “STAY…OUT…OF...THE…CAGE!”
I am the medical advocate for one of my alcoholics. It can be especially dicey trying to decipher what is enabling when injuries, illnesses, and lack of self-care are directly related to alcoholism! Have you ever desperately tried to take the blood pressure of a belligerent alcoholic late in the evening? How about post open-heart surgery, have the alcoholic disappear, only to find out that they got picked up by friends and are out getting smashed against firm medical admonishment? My alcoholic would skip meals and brag about it like a badge of honor, so I knocked myself out, trying to pack lunches and baking whole grain goods. Guess what? I got into the cage with the gorilla!
This dance is between my loved one and the gorilla. I’m tired of getting my arms and legs torn off! I ask myself as my thoughts shift toward the wants and needs of the alcoholic, “Am I getting into the cage with the gorilla?”
However, when I consistently engage with my recovery tools, my life is more manageable. One of the life preservers of the Al-Anon program is listening to speaker meeting podcasts while I am in my car. Father Tom W has been my humorous and insightful companion on many nights as I drive around praying, crying, and processing my ragged emotions.
One story he tells has hit home. It goes something like this: “Alcoholism is a lot like dancing with a gorilla. You’re not done dancing until the gorilla is done dancing.” An Al-Anon goes to the zoo and becomes terrified when they see their loved one dancing with the gorilla! They frantically think: “I NEED TO DO SOMETHING!” Suddenly we find ourselves in the cage! Vacuuming, cooking nutritious meals, trying to get in between our loved one and the gorilla. The problem is, the gorilla isn’t ready to let go, and they will rip the arms and legs off of the person trying to get between them and the alcoholic. The moral of the story is: “STAY…OUT…OF...THE…CAGE!”
I am the medical advocate for one of my alcoholics. It can be especially dicey trying to decipher what is enabling when injuries, illnesses, and lack of self-care are directly related to alcoholism! Have you ever desperately tried to take the blood pressure of a belligerent alcoholic late in the evening? How about post open-heart surgery, have the alcoholic disappear, only to find out that they got picked up by friends and are out getting smashed against firm medical admonishment? My alcoholic would skip meals and brag about it like a badge of honor, so I knocked myself out, trying to pack lunches and baking whole grain goods. Guess what? I got into the cage with the gorilla!
This dance is between my loved one and the gorilla. I’m tired of getting my arms and legs torn off! I ask myself as my thoughts shift toward the wants and needs of the alcoholic, “Am I getting into the cage with the gorilla?”
Enjoy Talking on the Phone or Sleeping on the Job? Seattle Al-Anon Information Service (AIS) Is Looking for Phone Volunteers! Shifts are available 7 days a week in 3-hour intervals starting at 7am during the day, and at night there is one shift starting at 10:30pm, which goes until 7am. The focus is to answer questions about Al-Anon and Alateen’s meeting times and Zoom availability, to give hope to people whose lives may be affected by someone else’s drinking, and to help others reach the appropriate source of help. A manual is provided with resource numbers and helpful suggestions on maintaining anonymity and talking to people in distress. FOR INFORMATION, PLEASE CONTACT phones@seattle-al-anon.org |
|
The Wednesday Workshop Series
|
A̶p̶r̶i̶l̶ ̶7̶t̶h̶ ̶A̶l̶c̶o̶h̶o̶l̶i̶s̶m̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶I̶n̶t̶i̶m̶a̶c̶y̶
A̶p̶r̶i̶l̶ ̶1̶4̶t̶h̶ ̶B̶u̶i̶l̶d̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶R̶e̶b̶u̶i̶l̶d̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶T̶r̶u̶s̶t̶ A̶p̶r̶i̶l̶ ̶2̶1̶s̶t̶ ̶C̶o̶m̶m̶u̶n̶i̶c̶a̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶C̶l̶e̶a̶r̶l̶y̶ A̶p̶r̶i̶l̶ ̶2̶8̶t̶h̶ ̶N̶e̶g̶o̶t̶i̶a̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶B̶o̶u̶n̶d̶a̶r̶i̶e̶s̶ May 5th Spiritual Solutions May 12th Expressing Gratitude |
When confronted with the idea of intimacy, many of us stop short. Intimacy, as we come to learn in Al-Anon, is not exclusively sexual, but rather includes feelings of closeness, safety, connectedness, and trust. Each of us may experience intimacy in our relationships with others, with ourselves, and with our Higher Power. The effects of alcoholism, however, can stand between us and others, affecting our ability to experience closeness in relationships in a healthy way.
It is not a terribly common topic for a meeting, so we are excited to bring back this popular workshop. Please join us each week as our guest speakers share on a variety of topics outlined in Al-Anon’s CAL “Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships” (B-33).
It is not a terribly common topic for a meeting, so we are excited to bring back this popular workshop. Please join us each week as our guest speakers share on a variety of topics outlined in Al-Anon’s CAL “Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships” (B-33).
Character Defects
|
photo courtesy of Marjorie S
|
I heard someone share in an Al-Anon meeting that they were uncomfortable with the label “character defects” because he couldn’t think of himself as defective. Rather he thought of those characteristics as survival mechanisms that had outlived their usefulness.
That view felt comfortable and a better way of seeing those characteristics in myself, but Al-Anon has taught me to mistrust the comfortable answer. My personal growth is rarely comfortable!
Reading Courage to Change for October 24th I found, the following passages:
The birch’s bark is necessary for protection, yet as the tree grows, the bark peels away gradually of its own accord. If it is removed prematurely—by a deer scraping his antlers or a porcupine searching for food—the tree is wounded and becomes vulnerable to infection, fungus, and insects.
But in Al-Anon, I am encouraged to grow at my own pace. As I do, I find some of my defenses and ideas too tight, too limiting. And so I slough them off, just as the birch releases its old skin. They are no longer needed.
The last paragraph reassures me that I am not “defective” and don’t need to be fixed. This quote supports the idea that I simply need to grow and expand. Taking that viewpoint makes it much easier for me to recognize and let go of those protective actions that no longer serve a useful purpose.
I’ve stopped “working” my program and now simply practice the steps as much as I can. I let the growth take place in its own time, relying on the Al-Anon slogan “progress not perfection.”.
That view felt comfortable and a better way of seeing those characteristics in myself, but Al-Anon has taught me to mistrust the comfortable answer. My personal growth is rarely comfortable!
Reading Courage to Change for October 24th I found, the following passages:
The birch’s bark is necessary for protection, yet as the tree grows, the bark peels away gradually of its own accord. If it is removed prematurely—by a deer scraping his antlers or a porcupine searching for food—the tree is wounded and becomes vulnerable to infection, fungus, and insects.
But in Al-Anon, I am encouraged to grow at my own pace. As I do, I find some of my defenses and ideas too tight, too limiting. And so I slough them off, just as the birch releases its old skin. They are no longer needed.
The last paragraph reassures me that I am not “defective” and don’t need to be fixed. This quote supports the idea that I simply need to grow and expand. Taking that viewpoint makes it much easier for me to recognize and let go of those protective actions that no longer serve a useful purpose.
I’ve stopped “working” my program and now simply practice the steps as much as I can. I let the growth take place in its own time, relying on the Al-Anon slogan “progress not perfection.”.
Groups and Districts Can Now Borrow the Area Banners to Support Their Outreach EffortsThe Banner Request Form is ready on the WA Area website. . Go to wa-al-anon.org
|
Tradition Five
Each Al-Anon Family Group has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps of AA ourselves, by encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives, and by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics. 
|
Al-Anon Mailbag
|
Frank M from Flagstaff, AZ asks, "What happens at Al-Anon business meetings?"
A: Thanks Frank! Since I've never been to a business meeting, I had to ask long-time member Gary H, who has attended his fair share of them. "What should happen is finding the group conscience on issues relevant to the group - how to use funds, what format the meeting should take, where the meeting should meet, etc." |
|
|
AIS Needs You!
Current Service Opportunities *Web Editor* *Office Volunteers* *Phone Volunteers* If you are interested in a particular area of service, please contact chair@seattle-al-anon.org 
|
Al-Anon Joke of the Month
Co-dependents wake up and ask their partner...
How do I feel today?
Do you have a funny or not so funny Al-Anon joke? Please send it along to newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org |
How I Kept Drinking from a Broken Cup for Seven Years
|
|
I was never one to complain or say something about his drinking. I never gave him what he wanted when he was beyond recognition, so I guess there’s that. I tried to leave many times, but it always got better just enough soon after one of his bad days that I didn’t want to leave. It was a cycle that I thought would just go away if I just loved him enough or cooked for him enough or kept quiet enough. Seven years I did this, this game of cat and mouse, back and forth, tug of war. When a friend suggested Al-Anon, I wondered if it would help at all. I almost didn’t want it to. I wanted to be right and let people know that I didn’t need help. I wanted to keep the illusion going as long as I could. For seven years, I had kept it up.
But when I started to hear the stories told by other members and their similar struggles, something changed in me. I no longer believed in my BS. I became more open to the idea that I was wrong about the way I was doing things. I was scared at first to be honest about my mistakes, as I thought it would make me look weaker or foolish. But it actually had the opposite effect. I felt stronger for opening up about my faults, more vulnerable, but that made me happier.
I realize now that I had been drinking my own Kool-Aid for seven years out of a cup that I didn’t even want to drink out of anymore. I feel very silly now for thinking that I could somehow be the one person in the world who could stop the alcoholic from drinking.
Al-Anon works for me because I had exhausted all other avenues and found myself desperate for help. Some part of me needed to go through all of that before I would listen to anyone. And for that, I’m sorry to my former self for putting myself through all that self-torture, but I didn’t know what else to do.
But when I started to hear the stories told by other members and their similar struggles, something changed in me. I no longer believed in my BS. I became more open to the idea that I was wrong about the way I was doing things. I was scared at first to be honest about my mistakes, as I thought it would make me look weaker or foolish. But it actually had the opposite effect. I felt stronger for opening up about my faults, more vulnerable, but that made me happier.
I realize now that I had been drinking my own Kool-Aid for seven years out of a cup that I didn’t even want to drink out of anymore. I feel very silly now for thinking that I could somehow be the one person in the world who could stop the alcoholic from drinking.
Al-Anon works for me because I had exhausted all other avenues and found myself desperate for help. Some part of me needed to go through all of that before I would listen to anyone. And for that, I’m sorry to my former self for putting myself through all that self-torture, but I didn’t know what else to do.
|
Concept Five
The rights of appeal and petition protect minorities and insure that they be heard. 
|
Feeling Scatterbrained with Your Thoughts? It Might Help to Write Things Down.
If you ever feel like you would like to write something for the newsletter, please let us know at newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org Pen Names Accepted 
photo courtesy of Marjorie S
|
It Was 20 Years Ago Today...
Clips taken from the May 2001 Bits Newsletter
|
|
|
|
March 2021 AIS Council Meeting Minutes
|
photo courtesy of Marjorie S
|
Secretary’s Report: Was read by Eliza D, BZ W didn’t have a copy. Motion was made by Helen V to accept minutes as corrected, Beth S 2nd, motion carried.
Treasurer’s Report: Mariann M reviewed the Statement of Activity for February 2021. Donations and Sales exceeded our expenses for the month. Six groups made donations to AIS. Mariann M is continuing to train with Linda H.
Vice-Chair Report: Helen V suggested we read the WA Wanderings for the updates on the AIS Bylaws.
Chair Report: Eliza D said that the discussion on ASL (American Sign Language) is ongoing and not sure if it belongs in AIS. The AIS Board is split 50/50 on ASL. Kathy D sent out an email about WSC (World Service Conference) and needs suggestions to take to WSC. Any difficulties, etc., that groups are having.
Coordinator Reports
Tech Coordinator: Doug L and Susan C-H are working on 365.
Outreach Co-Coordinators: Teresa H & Mickey K (co-outreach). On April 12th there will be a virtual “Health Fair” in Shoreline, WA.
Alateen Coordinator: Kathy B not in attendance. Zoom just for Teens and AIS has a Zoom account they could use but Helen V suggested contacting the Alateen coordinator on using the account.
Archives Coordinator: Eric G said he needed shelving and Doug L said he would help. AIS approved the funds to buy shelves. He talked about turning cassette tapes into CDs.
Communications Coordinator: Cheré and her team have a new theme in Weebly, all new layouts. Bottom of each page has the links. Bits need more updates, looking into archives articles.
LDC Co-Coordinators: Julie R & Doug L are updating inventory and find that WSO is out of stock on 10 books. Still sending out newcomer packets. The new volunteer is trained. Doug L made a motion to continue the free postage for 3 months, Maria S 2nd, and the motion carried.
Phone Coordinator: Dave M said they now have 119 shifts covered and have great volunteers and picked up 2 new ones in February. 73 calls and the busy time is 10-4 p/m. Not much weekend action 3-0 and thinks the phone message, should be changed. He will work with Doug L.
Old Business:
70th Anniversary of Al-Anon – discussion and the Bon Fire was mentioned.
New Business: BZ W to be formally voted in but was done at first of meeting. Eric G’s desire to purchase bookshelves was discussed during his report.
Attendance: 29 members
Adjournment
Next meeting: AIS Council APRIL 8, 2021
Treasurer’s Report: Mariann M reviewed the Statement of Activity for February 2021. Donations and Sales exceeded our expenses for the month. Six groups made donations to AIS. Mariann M is continuing to train with Linda H.
Vice-Chair Report: Helen V suggested we read the WA Wanderings for the updates on the AIS Bylaws.
Chair Report: Eliza D said that the discussion on ASL (American Sign Language) is ongoing and not sure if it belongs in AIS. The AIS Board is split 50/50 on ASL. Kathy D sent out an email about WSC (World Service Conference) and needs suggestions to take to WSC. Any difficulties, etc., that groups are having.
Coordinator Reports
Tech Coordinator: Doug L and Susan C-H are working on 365.
Outreach Co-Coordinators: Teresa H & Mickey K (co-outreach). On April 12th there will be a virtual “Health Fair” in Shoreline, WA.
Alateen Coordinator: Kathy B not in attendance. Zoom just for Teens and AIS has a Zoom account they could use but Helen V suggested contacting the Alateen coordinator on using the account.
Archives Coordinator: Eric G said he needed shelving and Doug L said he would help. AIS approved the funds to buy shelves. He talked about turning cassette tapes into CDs.
Communications Coordinator: Cheré and her team have a new theme in Weebly, all new layouts. Bottom of each page has the links. Bits need more updates, looking into archives articles.
LDC Co-Coordinators: Julie R & Doug L are updating inventory and find that WSO is out of stock on 10 books. Still sending out newcomer packets. The new volunteer is trained. Doug L made a motion to continue the free postage for 3 months, Maria S 2nd, and the motion carried.
Phone Coordinator: Dave M said they now have 119 shifts covered and have great volunteers and picked up 2 new ones in February. 73 calls and the busy time is 10-4 p/m. Not much weekend action 3-0 and thinks the phone message, should be changed. He will work with Doug L.
Old Business:
70th Anniversary of Al-Anon – discussion and the Bon Fire was mentioned.
New Business: BZ W to be formally voted in but was done at first of meeting. Eric G’s desire to purchase bookshelves was discussed during his report.
Attendance: 29 members
Adjournment
Next meeting: AIS Council APRIL 8, 2021
Thank you for your donations and for your support of AIS!
Our funding now comes primarily from:
*Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
*Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations to:
Seattle AIS
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
Donate Now
Our funding now comes primarily from:
*Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
*Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations to:
Seattle AIS
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
Donate Now
And More...
Please visit our Members page for the most up-to-date information on: