Rinsing the Water Glass
by Clif H
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Wondering about a particular behavior, I explored segments of my past. One behavior I have that is really quite annoying is to take a clean glass from the cabinet, put just a little water in it, rinse it around, then dump the water before refilling it to drink. While it wastes only a little water each time, in today’s world, it is absolutely unnecessary for safety or health purposes. So why do I do it? Some years ago, I was talking to my father about many unrelated subjects and came across the answer to this question. I learned it from my dad; he learned it as a child.
So, from where did it really come? Why did he do it? Why does he still do it? The second and third questions are easy to answer, as it turns out. We do it because it’s a habit instilled in him for the last 87 years. Ah, but to the first question, put another way, what drove the original action? As it turns out, my dad grew up on a poor dry dirt farm in eastern Montana, where the source of the drinking water was an artesian well. The well provided tasty but heavily sedimented water, the sediments of which would collect in the piping, resulting in the first glass of water always being dirty. So, my grandparents, and therefore my dad, learned to take that first fill until the water became clear, swirl to rinse the sediment out, then accept the clean, clear water. My dad left the farm and moved to the city long ago. Being city folks since the 1950s, dealing with sediment-laden water has never been an issue in my life.
Knowing the origin of the behavior, knowing it is absolutely unnecessary and wasteful, why do I still rinse my clean water glass? Habit, pure and simple. But I’ve tried to stop. I’ve committed to stop. And still, I do it. When discussing this with my wife the other day, she kind of laughed at me. Then with all seriousness and no shortage of sadness in her voice, she said; now consider habits that have been driven as the result of physical and emotional abuse growing up in an alcoholic home. If I’m challenged to get rid of a behavior learned in a loving, non-alcoholic home, how much harder must it be coming from that other environment? Today, I have a new appreciation for the work she puts into her own recovery. I’m also more forgiving of my own recovery when one of my defects doesn’t disappear, like sedimented water down the drain after turning it over to God for removal. |
Photo by Clif H
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New WA Area AFG Address to send DONATIONSWA Area AFG 12128 N. Division St. PMB # 1531 Spokane, WA 99218 Grateful in Service, Melissa M. WA Area Treasurer 
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Character Defects
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Phone Volunteers Make a Difference
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Step Eleven Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 
Photo by Clif H
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Need a Free Newcomer Packet?Anyone local to Seattle who is a newcomer and wants an individual newcomer packet (or in Spanish, too!), please send an email to LDC@seattle-al-anon.org with the name and mailing address. |
Let Us Know If Your Meeting Has:
Please send all meeting changes to the WA Area Group Records Coordinator [https://wa-al-anon.org/meeting-changes/] Changes and Updates are made Weekly. (Seattle AIS is cc'd in the change request) If you have any questions or concerns regarding the Seattle AIS updated meeting schedule, please contact meetingdirectoryeditor@seattle-al-anon.org |
AIS Annual Council Meeting Invitation
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Below are what AIS volunteers have written about their service experience. Please consider “giving back” through an AIS service position. We have many positions with a wide range of duties and skills. There is a position match for everyone! Please contact any of the AIS Officers or Coordinators, or email chair@seattle-al-anon.org for more information.
Karen L, AIS Chair Working in the AIS office, shipping literature, has been a really enjoyable experience for me. It is my way of giving back to the community that has given me so much healing over the past 2 years. I remember how eager I was to receive my first piece of literature when I was a newcomer, so I put care into each of my shipments and imagine the serenity the books will provide! I am literally sending you hugs. Arden C Concept Eleven
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I was in a marine biology class when the term “homeostasis” burrowed its way into my consciousness. My understanding of homeostasis is the ability of a living thing to maintain an internal equilibrium by adjusting appropriately to the changing conditions of the outer atmosphere. One example would be the way a human system has the ability to try to regulate the appropriate body temperature, despite the variations weather can bring.
The concept of homeostasis can be applied in many essential ways to my recovery! My “internal” environment could relate to my mind, emotions, and spirit. The “external” atmosphere is all that goes on outside of me, including the complexity of living with the effects of alcoholism within my environment and relationships. In trying to achieve some kind of homeostasis with the alcoholic, I have experienced an ongoing battle featuring the polarity of internal and external realities!
I have wanted so badly to connect and spend time with my alcoholic loved ones. I have inadvertently walked right into the danger zone with the wish that I would find a rational, emotionally stable individual on the other end. I have diligently tried to reach some kind of workable way to live in the same household and achieve a symbiotic relationship. However, after years of investment and discouraging futility, it would be wise to “accept the things I cannot change.”
By the progressive nature of alcoholism, individuals eventually lose control over key areas of their lives. However, in order to “appear” in control, an alcoholic may try to dominate their environment, including those closest to them. Just by being in proximity to the alcoholic, I may become collateral damage. My own magical thinking and guilt might manipulate me into stepping back into that ring, despite unfavorable results. When I allow this to happen, my life becomes unmanageable.
When I feel powerless in a situation, it tends to taint the way I feel about myself. I forget that I am the gatekeeper of my internal landscape. My intention is to plant and nourish seeds that will yield a harvest of health and integrity. It is my job to not to allow others to plant seeds of doubt or take up acreage in my head. Although I cannot control the external world, I can incorporate the boundaries that help to protect me from toxins. If someone has a track record of unacceptable behavior, I can limit my exposure to them.
I think serenity is another word for homeostasis. When I am in harmony with my internal and external world, I have peace. When I try to manage the alcoholic or their problems, I am stepping away from serenity and into anxiety. The activities that help me achieve a healthy balance are journaling, gratitude, prayer, reflection, reading, and time in nature.
The concept of homeostasis can be applied in many essential ways to my recovery! My “internal” environment could relate to my mind, emotions, and spirit. The “external” atmosphere is all that goes on outside of me, including the complexity of living with the effects of alcoholism within my environment and relationships. In trying to achieve some kind of homeostasis with the alcoholic, I have experienced an ongoing battle featuring the polarity of internal and external realities!
I have wanted so badly to connect and spend time with my alcoholic loved ones. I have inadvertently walked right into the danger zone with the wish that I would find a rational, emotionally stable individual on the other end. I have diligently tried to reach some kind of workable way to live in the same household and achieve a symbiotic relationship. However, after years of investment and discouraging futility, it would be wise to “accept the things I cannot change.”
By the progressive nature of alcoholism, individuals eventually lose control over key areas of their lives. However, in order to “appear” in control, an alcoholic may try to dominate their environment, including those closest to them. Just by being in proximity to the alcoholic, I may become collateral damage. My own magical thinking and guilt might manipulate me into stepping back into that ring, despite unfavorable results. When I allow this to happen, my life becomes unmanageable.
When I feel powerless in a situation, it tends to taint the way I feel about myself. I forget that I am the gatekeeper of my internal landscape. My intention is to plant and nourish seeds that will yield a harvest of health and integrity. It is my job to not to allow others to plant seeds of doubt or take up acreage in my head. Although I cannot control the external world, I can incorporate the boundaries that help to protect me from toxins. If someone has a track record of unacceptable behavior, I can limit my exposure to them.
I think serenity is another word for homeostasis. When I am in harmony with my internal and external world, I have peace. When I try to manage the alcoholic or their problems, I am stepping away from serenity and into anxiety. The activities that help me achieve a healthy balance are journaling, gratitude, prayer, reflection, reading, and time in nature.
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October 2022 AIS Council Meeting Minutes (Summary)
Meeting Opened at 7:30 PM with the Serenity Prayer
Attendance: 25 individuals
Tradition 10: read by Helen V
Concept 10: read by Solveig W
Secretary: Doug L motioned for the September Council Meeting Minutes to be accepted as presented by Elizabeth G. Dave M seconded. Motion passed.
Treasurer: Mariann M reported that donations last month fell a little below $1000. Literature Sales were a little over $1000, leaving a net operating amount of about $350. Chair: Trend of Finances: We are spending our ample reserve faster than expected. The 7th Tradition donations are down. Where we had $6000 budgeted through 2025 for Outreach, the Board recommended lowering that amount to $3000. The good news is that we were once $4000 in the hole for our projected budget. We are now $3000 in the hole.
Fall Assembly: We had a table to sell Literature in English and Spanish. Sales were good. We were able to fill orders for a District in Port Townsend that needed How Al-Anon Works. WSO was out of stock, whereas we had plenty.
Vice Chair: We need to have the Standing Rules and Procedures Manual (SRPM) approved by the Board before presenting it to the Council. The Board meets on Oct. 27th, 6:30–8 PM. Once the SRPM gets approved, it will be sent out to the Council members before we meet again on November 10th.
Coordinators:
Outreach: Motion: Approve $3000 for a digital awareness campaign managed by Seattle Times Media Solutions. It will include both internet display ads and YouTube videos. The display ads will run from Nov 24, 2022-Jan 24, 2023. The YouTube ads will run from Dec 10, 2022-Jan 10, 2023. The motion passed unanimously. Solveig W and Teresa H are going to work on this.
LDC: Doug L and Julie R have done the inventory of all 220 items in the office. To make ordering easier, a fillable PDF is available to people wanting to buy CAL.
Phones: There were 56 calls in September; 37 were Al-Anon-related. 56% of the shifts were filled. Most calls come in during weekday working hours. Those shifts are the hardest to fill. There were 6 phone messages left, and 6 were responded to. That was a big improvement.
Communications: Meeting Directory is updated frequently and regularly. The BITS Newsletter readership could be improved. Please promote it to your groups. Events Editor Arden is stepping down at the end of the year.
Alateen: On the Web Events page, please look for the Save the Date flyer for the next ASTAR (Alateen Sponsor Training and Recovery) weekend happening in April 2023.
7th Tradition: Venmo account: @seattleais. Find it listed under businesses. (Mariann M reported three 7th Tradition donations through the Venmo account during the Council meeting!)
Old/New Business: none
Next Council Meeting is November 10. Officer Elections for next year, Budget approval, SRPM approval.
Board Meeting Oct 27th, 6 PM-8:30 PM.
Meeting closed at 8:51 PM with Al-Anon/Alateen Declaration
Respectfully submitted by Elizabeth G, Secretary
Attendance: 25 individuals
Tradition 10: read by Helen V
Concept 10: read by Solveig W
Secretary: Doug L motioned for the September Council Meeting Minutes to be accepted as presented by Elizabeth G. Dave M seconded. Motion passed.
Treasurer: Mariann M reported that donations last month fell a little below $1000. Literature Sales were a little over $1000, leaving a net operating amount of about $350. Chair: Trend of Finances: We are spending our ample reserve faster than expected. The 7th Tradition donations are down. Where we had $6000 budgeted through 2025 for Outreach, the Board recommended lowering that amount to $3000. The good news is that we were once $4000 in the hole for our projected budget. We are now $3000 in the hole.
Fall Assembly: We had a table to sell Literature in English and Spanish. Sales were good. We were able to fill orders for a District in Port Townsend that needed How Al-Anon Works. WSO was out of stock, whereas we had plenty.
Vice Chair: We need to have the Standing Rules and Procedures Manual (SRPM) approved by the Board before presenting it to the Council. The Board meets on Oct. 27th, 6:30–8 PM. Once the SRPM gets approved, it will be sent out to the Council members before we meet again on November 10th.
Coordinators:
Outreach: Motion: Approve $3000 for a digital awareness campaign managed by Seattle Times Media Solutions. It will include both internet display ads and YouTube videos. The display ads will run from Nov 24, 2022-Jan 24, 2023. The YouTube ads will run from Dec 10, 2022-Jan 10, 2023. The motion passed unanimously. Solveig W and Teresa H are going to work on this.
LDC: Doug L and Julie R have done the inventory of all 220 items in the office. To make ordering easier, a fillable PDF is available to people wanting to buy CAL.
Phones: There were 56 calls in September; 37 were Al-Anon-related. 56% of the shifts were filled. Most calls come in during weekday working hours. Those shifts are the hardest to fill. There were 6 phone messages left, and 6 were responded to. That was a big improvement.
Communications: Meeting Directory is updated frequently and regularly. The BITS Newsletter readership could be improved. Please promote it to your groups. Events Editor Arden is stepping down at the end of the year.
Alateen: On the Web Events page, please look for the Save the Date flyer for the next ASTAR (Alateen Sponsor Training and Recovery) weekend happening in April 2023.
7th Tradition: Venmo account: @seattleais. Find it listed under businesses. (Mariann M reported three 7th Tradition donations through the Venmo account during the Council meeting!)
Old/New Business: none
Next Council Meeting is November 10. Officer Elections for next year, Budget approval, SRPM approval.
Board Meeting Oct 27th, 6 PM-8:30 PM.
Meeting closed at 8:51 PM with Al-Anon/Alateen Declaration
Respectfully submitted by Elizabeth G, Secretary
Thank you for your donations and your support of AIS!
Our funding now comes primarily from:
*Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
*Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations, to:
Seattle AIS
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
Donate Now
Our funding now comes primarily from:
*Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
*Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations, to:
Seattle AIS
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
Donate Now
And More ...
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MEETING SCHEDULE: registered Al-Anon groups in the Greater Seattle Area. All virtual and in-person meetings are listed.
Please visit our Members section for the most up-to-date information on:
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Meeting NewsMeeting Changes Reported during October 2022
Complete details at: https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/meetings.html/ Changes are bolded, underlined and purpled.
SUPPORT: Groups Needing Support
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