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October 2022

Live and Let Live
by Ernest H

“Tradition Ten,” Paths to Recovery (p. 220)
 
Traditions are, for me, such a fantastic piece of technology when it comes to human relations! This particular tradition allows me to have insight into how my behavior allows for more controversy in my life. Understanding how I or the group I am associated with can open the door for controversy shows me how we start the ball rolling. Yes, that ball that ends up rolling back to smash our toes! This understanding helps me to take responsibility for things that happen in my life. And if I take responsibility, I have the power of choice to do something different.
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The group at large is comprised of many viewpoints toward outside issues. If those outside issues become inside issues, then the group’s very identity fragments and even changes. What are we? What do we believe in? What do we stand for? There will be many answers if the issue at hand is outside the frame that has worked so well to maintain its identity. I ask myself, “can I see how that is true in me as well”?

​In the past, meaning last week, I was emotionally tempted to voice an opinion on an issue that had no effect on my personal principles. I realized that at that moment, emotion could invite me into a delusional world where I am the principal police! This can’t continue! It’s unacceptable! Some old timers once told me that unsolicited advice is implicit criticism. How true the statement has been for me; even when the advice is true, it is more true that criticism is what is heard and felt.


If asked my opinion by a person in the Al-Anon program, I can safely resort the person or group back to the underlying principle as a tool for them to figure out what this issue means to them. It is such a free position as it allows me to detach from the outcome (what the person or group decides to do) yet love them enough to give them a good set of tools.   
​

In relationships, what I must safely offer and what Al-Anon leads with are so similar. We ask these questions to determine outside issues versus inside issues. One, how will this speak to our singleness of purpose? Two, is this a crucial issue where our relationship or group has a stake? And finally, would this draw us into a public fight? 
​

As a member of Al-Anon, it is my responsibility to hold principles higher than personalities, as this has been central to our continued unity. Those who came before me have shown me how to let personal opinion be personal opinion for the Al-Anon program to continue to live for all those affected by the disease of alcoholism who will come after me. And so, this principle is key for me to retain my serenity, stay in the right relationship with others, and be sober-minded in the use of my ability to respond.

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Perspective

There is symmetry and order in the spider web
 
Remember, what is order to the spider
 
Is chaos to the fly

New WA Area AFG Address to send DONATIONS

WA Area AFG
12128 N. Division St. PMB # 1531
Spokane, WA 99218
 
Grateful in Service,
Melissa M.
WA Area ​Treasurer
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The Odds Are Good at a Speaker Meeting!
​by Chuck G

Back in August, I shared my appreciation for speaker meetings!  The extended shares by the speakers give me insights into how they work their programs and how they find peace and serenity in their lives.  They frequently share extensively about their 4th Step inventories and what they have learned about themselves.  And often, that sharing is a mirror to myself, as the speakers share something in their lives that I suddenly realize also exists in mine.
 
Some years ago, I was listening to an Al-Anon speaker at the North Coast Roundup in Seaside, Oregon, which is an AA event with Al-Anon participation.  He was part way through his story when he paused and then offered his simple observation about dating in recovery:
 
"The odds are good, and the goods are odd!"
 
I thought that was hilarious, as I thought back to some of my dating experiences in recovery.  But then the audience, not the speaker, became my mirror.  I was seeing one-half of the problem.  As I looked around at everyone laughing, it dawned on me that the women in the audience had found that line equally hilarious.  And in an instant, I knew the women were right.  I resemble that remark. 
 
Later he shared his "sure-fire test for alcoholism."  "If there are any women in the audience who think they might be alcoholic, but aren't certain, come up after the meeting and ask me if I find you attractive.  If I say yes, RUN to AA!"  I now know that I have the same gift: the ability to pick out the not-yet-sober alcoholic in a crowd.  To finally have that awareness is life-changing for me.
 
And, of course, we've probably all looked at someone else's antics and said, "I'm not that bad!"
 
At the Ocean Shores Roundup also some years ago, another AA event with Al-Anon participation, we were at the Saturday night dance, which featured a live band.  It was lots of fun, and one of my friends really hit it off with a lady he had just met that evening at the dance.  Everything was going really well until he figured out that she was the sister of the drummer and was not at the Roundup because she was in recovery, and that she was anything but sober.  That was the end of that adventure.  And as we later listened to his story, of course, we all said, "I'd never make that mistake" or "I'll never do that!"  And I can honestly say I have never dated the not-sober sister of a drummer. 
 
Yet.​

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​Step Ten
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
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Need a Free Newcomer Packet?

Anyone local to Seattle who is a newcomer and wants an individual newcomer packet (or in Spanish, too!), please send an email to LDC@seattle-al-anon.org with the name and mailing address.
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MENSAJE AL PÚBLICO.
Un milagro de supervivencia.
​por Isabel E

Yo soy un milagro de supervivencia. 
Como dice al final de la pág. 18-19 del libro de la Supervivencia a la Recuperación: “en muchos aspectos, los que hemos crecido con el alcoholismo somos milagros de supervivencia”.
Colectivamente hemos sobrevivido muchas cosas, nos describe ya casi desauciados, sin esperanza.  La enfermedad por la cual yo fui contaminada, me cegó y me eclipsó.  
Me atrapó y no me permitía ver mi verdadera personalidad. 
Yo llegué a Al-Anon, físicamente, mentalmente y espiritualmente en pedazos con muchos impedimentos.  Yo tenía muchos miedos que impedían mi crecimiento espiritual y mi felicidad. 
 
Al ir creciendo alrededor de la enfermedad, yo pensaba que yo no tenía valor alguno y que nada importaba, porque de cualquier manera lo que yo hacía, lo hacía mal, de ahí que ni siquiera lo intentara.  
​Del libro de la Supervivencia a la Recuperación pág. 19: “…en Al-Anon encontramos un programa de Doce Pasos de ayuda espiritual y calor humano que nos otorgó el valioso don de la serenidad y que nos ha mostrado el camino hacía la madurez emocional de la que carecía nuestra familia. Rodeados por otros que se recuperan, aprendemos cómo curar nuestros corazones destrozados y construir vidas sanas, productivas y felices”. 
Dios no solo sanó mis heridas, también me repara, me capacita y me dio un cerebro para usarlo. Como dice nuestro Manual de Servicio de Al-Anon/Alateen (pág.198):“Dios nos ha dotado a los seres humanos de considerable capacidad de previsión, y evidentemente espera que la usemos”.
 
Cuando yo soy responsible, Dios me ayuda. Cuando yo elijo mi recuperación, cuando yo elijo cooperar con mi Poder Superior, Dios como yo lo concibo. 
Del libro de la Supervicencia a la Recuperación. (pág.180-181): “ la humildad, para aquéllos que hemos sido objetos de abusos a lo largo de los años, puede parecerse a arrodillarse otra vez ante un tirano, pero es algo mucho más benévolo y hermoso.  La humildad no significa pérdida de la autoestima sino mas bien apreciarnos a nosotros mismos por lo que en realidad somos y amarnos lo suficente como para desear crecer y convertirnos mejores personas, más felices y más útiles”. 
Adoptar la humildad no significa que no sepamos nada ni que no tengamos logros; quere decir aceptar que no sabemos todo, estar dispuestos a que se nos enseñe.
Digo esto porque yo le temía al servicio y una  vez mi madrina me dijo que mi mano debería estar leventada siempre para el servicio. 
Yo estoy haciendo el servicio de pasar el mensaje en mi distrito 14. 
Del libro de la Supervivencia a la Recuperación (pág. 242-243) :“encontramos que trasmitir el mensaje es un privilegio, más que otra tarea para nuestros espíritus sobrecargados. Nuestras  copas  ya no están vacías sino desbordantes, y cuando a veces parecen vacías , sabemos dónde ir a recargarlas. Aprendemos que el amor -a diferencia de las cosas en elmundo material- crece con más abundancia cuanto más lo damos a otros”.
 
Yo continuo experimentado desafíos en mi vida, incluso escrbiendo esto, estoy notando que algunos libros de inglés no son el mismo número de página que en los libros de español . Otro gran desafío es la traducción de Ingles al Español al añadir los acentos en las letras.
Del libro de la Supervicencia a la Recuperación (pág. 269) : “para los hijos adultos de alcohólicos, nuestra confianza dañada y devastada tiene que cicatrizar y ser alimentada poco a poco hasta sentirnos con la suficente seguridad como para soltar las riendas y entregárselas a Dios. La confianza no proviene de leer un libro, por más inspirador que sea, sino de experimentar realciones nuevas que confían en nosotros y en las que nosotros podemos aprender a confiar”.
El servicio es la llave para mi recuperación. 
Del libro de la Supervicencia a la Recuperación (pág. 269) : “si nos entregamos voluntariamente a la disciplina espiritual de los Doce Pasos, nuestras vidas se transformarán.  Nos convertiremos en personas maduras y responsables y con una gran capaciadad de alegría, realizaciones y asombros. Pese a que nunca seremos perfectos, el continuo progreso espiritual nos revelará nuestro enorme potencial”. 
En el servicio voy descubriendo mis talentos y reconozco la verdad. Los miedos fueron reemplazados por confianza. Se van desarrollando nuevos talentos que estaban ocultos. Yo hoy puedo ofrecer esperanza y puedo compartirla con otros. Ya no ando escondiendo mis emociones.
 
Ahora yo sé que mi Poder Superior hace por mí lo que yo no puedo hacer por mí.
Por eso sigo viniendo. 
​
En servicio, 

Outreach Service:
A Miracle Survivor
by Isabel E

I am a miracle survivor. As quoted on page 18 of From Survival to Recovery, “In many ways we who have grown up with alcoholism are all miracles of survival. Collectively, we have survived many things,” describes us almost like evicted and hopeless. The disease that contaminated me, blinded me like an eclipse. It trapped me and did not allow me to see my true personality. I came to Al-Anon physically, mentally, and spiritually broken with so many impairments. I had so many fears that prevented my spiritual growth and happiness. 

Growing up around the disease, I thought that I was worthless and that nothing mattered because, anyways, all the things that I was doing were wrong, therefore for me not even to try.  From Survival to Recovery (p. 19) “... in Al-Anon we found a Twelve Step program of spiritual help and human caring that has brought us the priceless gift of serenity and has shown us a path toward emotional maturity that was lacking in our families. Surrounded by other recovering people, we are learning how to heal our broken hearts and create healthy, productive, joyful lives.” God not only healed my wounds, but also repaired me and gave me a brain to use. As quoted in the Al-Anon/Alateen Service Manual (p. 202), “God has endowed human beings with considerable capability for foresight and evidently expects us to use it.” 

When I am responsible, God helps me. When I choose recovery, I choose to cooperate with my superior power, God, as I call it. From Survival to Recovery (p. 180), “Humility, to those of us who have been abused over the years, can sound like once again bending the knee to a tyrant but it is something much kinder and more beautiful. Humility doesn’t mean loss of self-esteem but rather esteeming ourselves for who we really are and loving ourselves enough to want to grow into even better, happier, and more useful human beings.… To embrace humility does not mean to say we know nothing and have accomplished nothing; it means we accept that we do not know everything—we are willing to become teachable.” I say this because I feared service.  My sponsor once told me that my hand should always be raised for service.  I am currently doing outreach for my district, District 14. From Survival to Recovery (p. 242), “We find that carrying the message is a privilege rather than one more task drained but are becoming full. When on occasion we do feel empty, we know how to restore ourselves. We are learning that love, unlike things in the material world, grows ever more abundant the more we give it away.” 

I still experience challenges in my life, even writing this, I have noticed that English books do not have the same page numbers as the Spanish Al-Anon books.  Another great challenge of mine was translating the text from English to Spanish due to the accents. From Survival to Recovery (p. 267), “For adult children of alcoholics our damaged, devastated trust has to be healed and nurtured bit by bit until we feel safe enough to truly let go and let God. Trust does not come from reading a book. It comes from experiencing new relationships and which we are trusted and can learn to be trusted and can learn to trust those around us." Service is a key to my recovery. From Survival to Recovery (p. 267), “If we willingly surrender ourselves to the spiritual discipline of the Twelve Steps, our lives can be transformed. We can become mature, responsible individuals with a great capacity for joy, fulfillment, and wonder. Though we will never be perfect, continued spiritual progress can reveal to us our enormous potential.” In service, I discovered my talents, and I recognized the truth. Fear was replaced with trust. I developed new talents that were hidden. I am able to offer hope and able to share with others. I am no longer hiding my emotions.  

Now I know that my superior power is doing for me what I cannot do for myself. That is why I keep coming back.

​In Service,

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Tradition Ten
The Al-Anon Family Groups have no opinion on outside issues; hence our name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
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Let Us Know If Your Meeting Has:

  • Gone back to meeting in person
  • Become hybrid or concurrent
  • Has a new physical location
  • Made other changes that members need to know about
  • Has an alternate Holiday Schedule
  • ​Has disbanded

​Please send all meeting changes to the WA Area Group Records Coordinator [https://wa-al-anon.org/meeting-changes/]
Changes and Updates are made Weekly.
(Seattle AIS is cc'd in the change request)
 
If you have any questions or concerns regarding the Seattle AIS updated meeting schedule, ​please contact meetingdirectoryeditor@seattle-al-anon.org 

AIS Council Meeting
The next Council meeting is Thursday, October 13, 2022, 7:30-9:00 pm.  Check the AIS website calendar (https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/events) for the zoom link.  

AIS Board Meeting

​Thursday, October 27, from 6:30 to 8:00 pm.  Check the AIS website calendar (https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/events) for the zoom link.

Service Work 
Testimonials
by the AIS Chair and the
“Ghost" Writer of the Month

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Below are what AIS volunteers have written about their service experience.  Please consider “giving back” through an AIS service position.  We have many positions with a wide range of duties and skills.  There is a position match for everyone!  Please contact any of the AIS Officers or Coordinators, or email chair@seattle-al-anon.org for more information. 

I remember, years ago, going into the AIS Office in the Vance Building on 3rd and Pike to buy literature and thinking, "Someday, I'd love to be a volunteer working in that little office and filling literature orders." After leaving Seattle for several years and coming back retired, that someday finally came. I loved the office work, taking phone calls regarding literature, people coming in to pick up books/pamphlets and sharing what Al-Anon was all about with Newcomers calling in for information. The Office eventually relocated to Capitol Hill which made it even easier for people to come in to browse the "bookstore" or pick-up orders. And, it was fun spending the day working with another Al-Anon member who was also volunteering their time. It was a wonderful and meaningful experience for me.
Cindy G​

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​Lessons from the
​Air Quality Index
​

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Over the last month or so, the Seattle area has been branded a couple of times with the worst air quality in the world!  The day could be spectacularly beautiful with pristine air, and the night could evolve into murky stinging smoke.  I downloaded an air quality app on my phone, to plan my activities accordingly.  There were colored circles on an interactive map with numbers that displayed the levels of contamination from green “Healthy” to dark purple “Hazardous.”
 
One day when the warning of this area was marked between red “unhealthy” and light purple “very unhealthy.” I was struck with the gaping chasm of how I do life … and how the alcoholic does life.  I was encased in my bedroom with the windows shut and my new air purifier running.  The alcoholic, who was still recovering from COVID (!), was out and about with no protection whatsoever!  The alcoholics in my life tend to wear cavalier idiocy as a badge of honor!  (Funny and heartbreaking at the same time!)
 
Here lies my challenge and dilemma: Navigating the crises laden insane atmosphere generated by the alcoholic, while still caring, yet not rescuing them from the natural consequences of their actions or inactions.  It would be beneficial to incorporate my own AQI, perhaps an “Atmosphere Quality Index,” to determine the appropriate boundaries and detachment measures.
 
Green (Healthy): I have learned the hard way that the “cunning, baffling, and powerful” nature of alcoholism tends to inhibit a genuine, trustworthy exchange with the alcoholic.  However, if I am rested and mindful of realistic expectations, and the alcoholic is semi-sober and in a good mood … that is as good as it gets!
 
Yellow (Moderate): There is no moderation with alcoholism!
 
Orange (Unhealthy for Sensitive Groups): I am an empath, so any signs of mockery, manipulation, or mayhem … don’t take the bait and exit stage left! 
 
Red (Unhealthy): The alcoholic’s vehicle is missing, has a new dent, or is parked haphazardly.  The arsenic hours of open drinking in the evening.  
 
Light Purple (Very Unhealthy):  The alcoholic is visibly impaired, especially cognitively.  (This is particularly distressing for me to witness).  Unprovoked rage is unleashed on top of me and leaves me stunned.  Being interrogated mercilessly for gossip, details, or personal information that I do not want to disclose.  Irresponsibility and irrationality. 
 
Dark Purple (Hazardous):  Being badgered, bullied, or blamed, especially while trapped in a vehicle with the alcoholic.  Health-sustaining repairs are needed in the home and are blatantly ignored.  Threatening, demeaning messages.  Risky behavior around beloved pets.  Noncompliance with medical advice.
 
The strategy is the same for the last 3 levels as the atmosphere gets progressively more hazardous.  My detachment tactics are:  Cease any engagement, hold emotion until in a safe space, and decompress through soothing recovery activity.

Al-Anon Joke of the Month

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Concept Ten

Service responsibility is balanced by carefully defined service authority and double-headed management is avoided.
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From the Archives
​​
by Eric G
Archives  Coordinator

Click each picture to enlarge

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I wanted to share this lovely booklet from 1958, published by the Detroit Area Al-Anon Council, titled Al-Anon: An Interpretation of Our Twelve Steps. I tried reaching out to them but cannot find the “Detroit Area Al-Anon Council,” only the “Michigan AFG,” which includes Detroit.  One thing that was shared by their archives coordinator was, “The Detroit Al-Anon Office had printed materials for years.  Lois W. told us to stop!  We did.  Only WSO can print materials, which are Conference Approved Materials.” This intrigued me immensely, but my further inquiries were not replied to. 

While this booklet does go through the 12 Steps of Al-Anon, as the title says, it also has a lot of other cool stuff. Note: this was written prior to the definition and existence of CAL. 

First, on page 3, it has "The Four Facts," which this booklet will use while going through each step.  Aside: the first question of #1 is "What is wrong with your life?" which made me laugh at first because it reminded me of something my dad would have said if he were mad at me for watching TV all day as a kid.  Also, it is an important question to ask myself, if not out of date.  

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Next, this book divides the 12 Steps into 4 Phases, implying the steps are either not in order or there might be a better way of grouping them.  I'm not familiar with these grouping choices, so I don't know how this will work for me.  For instance, when we get to Phase 3, it goes through Steps 4, 8, 9, and 10, referring to them as “Inventory”. 

 I like this because it provides a brief overview of the steps without getting too wordy.  It also has sayings, phrases, and poems scattered about that are related.  For instance:
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I would like to have included more pictures, as I felt this 24-page booklet had something interesting on every page.  I hope you found it interesting too.  If you would like to see more of this booklet, please reach out to archives@seattle-al-anon.org, so that it can be shared individually. 

One last thing, the very back cover is damaged due to it being glued to something, probably a scrapbook of some kind.  If anyone knows how to remove old glue from the paper without damaging it, please write to me with some help:  archives@seattle-al-anon.org. ​
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​Order the Forum Magazine
Al-Anon’s monthly magazine features timely sharings from Al-Anon and Alateen members, suggested meeting topics, and the latest information on worldwide Al-Anon recovery. Experience and insight you won’t find anywhere else!

September 2022 AIS Council Meeting Minutes (Summary)

Opened at 7:30 with Serenity Prayer

Attendance: 19 attendees

Reports

Chair: Going to Fall Assembly to sell books. Talked with our WA Area Delegate who is on the 
WSO Literature committee regarding WSO’s eBook decisions to remind them of the impact on LDCs.

Secretary: Helen Moved to accept the August Minutes as amended. Seconded by Mary. Motion passed.
Has begun recording Motions into one Council file for 2022.

Treasurer: Please see financial reports. We had $600 net revenue in the past month. Donations and 
sales were up thanks to the Gratitude Garden Party.

Vice Chair: SRPM (Standing Rules and Procedures Manual) will be presented in October

Phones: No report

LDC: Prices have been updated. Inventory was completed for the first time in 3 years, we have a surplus
stock! Courage To Change is back in stock at the WSO and reordered.

Communications: All service positions which include Meeting Directory Editor, BITS Newsletter Editor, 
Events Editor and Web Editor, are filled!

Alateen: We had two people sign up for AMIAS service at the Gratitude Garden Party.

Old Business: Gratitude Garden Party has garnered much positive feedback including a wish for this to 
become an annual event. The sales at the bookstore were phenomenal. In addition to the Alateen new 
volunteers there was 1 for the Office and 2 for the Phones. All Pilgrim’s did not charge us for the space. 
Motion, by Helen V.: We donate $50 to All Pilgrims Church. Seconded by Mariann. Motion passed 
unanimously.

New Business: None

Announcements:
  • WA Area Speaker Convention 2022 October 21-22, Puget Sound Community College, Lacey WA
  • Please read the Standing Rules and Procedures Manual before the October Council Meeting 10/13/22
Meeting closed at 8:19 PM with Al-Anon/Alateen declaration
​
Respectfully submitted by Elizabeth G, Secretary

Thank you for your donations and your support of AIS!
Our funding now comes primarily from:
*Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
*Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations, to:
Seattle AIS
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
​Donate Now

And More ...

MEETING SCHEDULE:   registered Al-Anon groups in the Greater Seattle Area.  All virtual and in-person meetings are listed.  
Meeting Schedule
Please visit our Members section for the most up-to-date information on:
  • List of AIS Officers and Coordinators
  • Where to Send Donations
  • District Representatives and Business Meeting Information
  • AIS Financial Information​
  • Calendar of Events

Meeting News 

Meeting Changes Reported during September
Complete details at: https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/meetings.html/ 
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OUR OFFICE IS NOT OPEN FOR LITERATURE PICK UP. WE SHIP ORDERS EVERY THURSDAY. FIND ORDERING INFORMATION, HERE.
Office Address: 509 10th Ave E  #100, Seattle, WA 98102 ​ MAP
Mailing Address: 505 Broadway E #400, Seattle, WA  98102-5023
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