Live and Let Live
|
|
The group at large is comprised of many viewpoints toward outside issues. If those outside issues become inside issues, then the group’s very identity fragments and even changes. What are we? What do we believe in? What do we stand for? There will be many answers if the issue at hand is outside the frame that has worked so well to maintain its identity. I ask myself, “can I see how that is true in me as well”?
In the past, meaning last week, I was emotionally tempted to voice an opinion on an issue that had no effect on my personal principles. I realized that at that moment, emotion could invite me into a delusional world where I am the principal police! This can’t continue! It’s unacceptable! Some old timers once told me that unsolicited advice is implicit criticism. How true the statement has been for me; even when the advice is true, it is more true that criticism is what is heard and felt.
If asked my opinion by a person in the Al-Anon program, I can safely resort the person or group back to the underlying principle as a tool for them to figure out what this issue means to them. It is such a free position as it allows me to detach from the outcome (what the person or group decides to do) yet love them enough to give them a good set of tools.
In relationships, what I must safely offer and what Al-Anon leads with are so similar. We ask these questions to determine outside issues versus inside issues. One, how will this speak to our singleness of purpose? Two, is this a crucial issue where our relationship or group has a stake? And finally, would this draw us into a public fight?
As a member of Al-Anon, it is my responsibility to hold principles higher than personalities, as this has been central to our continued unity. Those who came before me have shown me how to let personal opinion be personal opinion for the Al-Anon program to continue to live for all those affected by the disease of alcoholism who will come after me. And so, this principle is key for me to retain my serenity, stay in the right relationship with others, and be sober-minded in the use of my ability to respond.
In the past, meaning last week, I was emotionally tempted to voice an opinion on an issue that had no effect on my personal principles. I realized that at that moment, emotion could invite me into a delusional world where I am the principal police! This can’t continue! It’s unacceptable! Some old timers once told me that unsolicited advice is implicit criticism. How true the statement has been for me; even when the advice is true, it is more true that criticism is what is heard and felt.
If asked my opinion by a person in the Al-Anon program, I can safely resort the person or group back to the underlying principle as a tool for them to figure out what this issue means to them. It is such a free position as it allows me to detach from the outcome (what the person or group decides to do) yet love them enough to give them a good set of tools.
In relationships, what I must safely offer and what Al-Anon leads with are so similar. We ask these questions to determine outside issues versus inside issues. One, how will this speak to our singleness of purpose? Two, is this a crucial issue where our relationship or group has a stake? And finally, would this draw us into a public fight?
As a member of Al-Anon, it is my responsibility to hold principles higher than personalities, as this has been central to our continued unity. Those who came before me have shown me how to let personal opinion be personal opinion for the Al-Anon program to continue to live for all those affected by the disease of alcoholism who will come after me. And so, this principle is key for me to retain my serenity, stay in the right relationship with others, and be sober-minded in the use of my ability to respond.
New WA Area AFG Address to send DONATIONSWA Area AFG 12128 N. Division St. PMB # 1531 Spokane, WA 99218 Grateful in Service, Melissa M. WA Area Treasurer 
|
The Odds Are Good at a Speaker Meeting!
|
|
|
|
Step Ten Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. 
Need a Free Newcomer Packet?Anyone local to Seattle who is a newcomer and wants an individual newcomer packet (or in Spanish, too!), please send an email to LDC@seattle-al-anon.org with the name and mailing address. |
|
MENSAJE AL PÚBLICO.
|
Outreach Service:
|
|
Let Us Know If Your Meeting Has:
Please send all meeting changes to the WA Area Group Records Coordinator [https://wa-al-anon.org/meeting-changes/] Changes and Updates are made Weekly. (Seattle AIS is cc'd in the change request) If you have any questions or concerns regarding the Seattle AIS updated meeting schedule, please contact meetingdirectoryeditor@seattle-al-anon.org |
|
AIS Council Meeting
The next Council meeting is Thursday, October 13, 2022, 7:30-9:00 pm. Check the AIS website calendar (https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/events) for the zoom link. AIS Board MeetingThursday, October 27, from 6:30 to 8:00 pm. Check the AIS website calendar (https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/events) for the zoom link. |
Below are what AIS volunteers have written about their service experience. Please consider “giving back” through an AIS service position. We have many positions with a wide range of duties and skills. There is a position match for everyone! Please contact any of the AIS Officers or Coordinators, or email chair@seattle-al-anon.org for more information.
I remember, years ago, going into the AIS Office in the Vance Building on 3rd and Pike to buy literature and thinking, "Someday, I'd love to be a volunteer working in that little office and filling literature orders." After leaving Seattle for several years and coming back retired, that someday finally came. I loved the office work, taking phone calls regarding literature, people coming in to pick up books/pamphlets and sharing what Al-Anon was all about with Newcomers calling in for information. The Office eventually relocated to Capitol Hill which made it even easier for people to come in to browse the "bookstore" or pick-up orders. And, it was fun spending the day working with another Al-Anon member who was also volunteering their time. It was a wonderful and meaningful experience for me. Cindy G |
|
|
Over the last month or so, the Seattle area has been branded a couple of times with the worst air quality in the world! The day could be spectacularly beautiful with pristine air, and the night could evolve into murky stinging smoke. I downloaded an air quality app on my phone, to plan my activities accordingly. There were colored circles on an interactive map with numbers that displayed the levels of contamination from green “Healthy” to dark purple “Hazardous.”
One day when the warning of this area was marked between red “unhealthy” and light purple “very unhealthy.” I was struck with the gaping chasm of how I do life … and how the alcoholic does life. I was encased in my bedroom with the windows shut and my new air purifier running. The alcoholic, who was still recovering from COVID (!), was out and about with no protection whatsoever! The alcoholics in my life tend to wear cavalier idiocy as a badge of honor! (Funny and heartbreaking at the same time!)
Here lies my challenge and dilemma: Navigating the crises laden insane atmosphere generated by the alcoholic, while still caring, yet not rescuing them from the natural consequences of their actions or inactions. It would be beneficial to incorporate my own AQI, perhaps an “Atmosphere Quality Index,” to determine the appropriate boundaries and detachment measures.
Green (Healthy): I have learned the hard way that the “cunning, baffling, and powerful” nature of alcoholism tends to inhibit a genuine, trustworthy exchange with the alcoholic. However, if I am rested and mindful of realistic expectations, and the alcoholic is semi-sober and in a good mood … that is as good as it gets!
Yellow (Moderate): There is no moderation with alcoholism!
Orange (Unhealthy for Sensitive Groups): I am an empath, so any signs of mockery, manipulation, or mayhem … don’t take the bait and exit stage left!
Red (Unhealthy): The alcoholic’s vehicle is missing, has a new dent, or is parked haphazardly. The arsenic hours of open drinking in the evening.
Light Purple (Very Unhealthy): The alcoholic is visibly impaired, especially cognitively. (This is particularly distressing for me to witness). Unprovoked rage is unleashed on top of me and leaves me stunned. Being interrogated mercilessly for gossip, details, or personal information that I do not want to disclose. Irresponsibility and irrationality.
Dark Purple (Hazardous): Being badgered, bullied, or blamed, especially while trapped in a vehicle with the alcoholic. Health-sustaining repairs are needed in the home and are blatantly ignored. Threatening, demeaning messages. Risky behavior around beloved pets. Noncompliance with medical advice.
The strategy is the same for the last 3 levels as the atmosphere gets progressively more hazardous. My detachment tactics are: Cease any engagement, hold emotion until in a safe space, and decompress through soothing recovery activity.
One day when the warning of this area was marked between red “unhealthy” and light purple “very unhealthy.” I was struck with the gaping chasm of how I do life … and how the alcoholic does life. I was encased in my bedroom with the windows shut and my new air purifier running. The alcoholic, who was still recovering from COVID (!), was out and about with no protection whatsoever! The alcoholics in my life tend to wear cavalier idiocy as a badge of honor! (Funny and heartbreaking at the same time!)
Here lies my challenge and dilemma: Navigating the crises laden insane atmosphere generated by the alcoholic, while still caring, yet not rescuing them from the natural consequences of their actions or inactions. It would be beneficial to incorporate my own AQI, perhaps an “Atmosphere Quality Index,” to determine the appropriate boundaries and detachment measures.
Green (Healthy): I have learned the hard way that the “cunning, baffling, and powerful” nature of alcoholism tends to inhibit a genuine, trustworthy exchange with the alcoholic. However, if I am rested and mindful of realistic expectations, and the alcoholic is semi-sober and in a good mood … that is as good as it gets!
Yellow (Moderate): There is no moderation with alcoholism!
Orange (Unhealthy for Sensitive Groups): I am an empath, so any signs of mockery, manipulation, or mayhem … don’t take the bait and exit stage left!
Red (Unhealthy): The alcoholic’s vehicle is missing, has a new dent, or is parked haphazardly. The arsenic hours of open drinking in the evening.
Light Purple (Very Unhealthy): The alcoholic is visibly impaired, especially cognitively. (This is particularly distressing for me to witness). Unprovoked rage is unleashed on top of me and leaves me stunned. Being interrogated mercilessly for gossip, details, or personal information that I do not want to disclose. Irresponsibility and irrationality.
Dark Purple (Hazardous): Being badgered, bullied, or blamed, especially while trapped in a vehicle with the alcoholic. Health-sustaining repairs are needed in the home and are blatantly ignored. Threatening, demeaning messages. Risky behavior around beloved pets. Noncompliance with medical advice.
The strategy is the same for the last 3 levels as the atmosphere gets progressively more hazardous. My detachment tactics are: Cease any engagement, hold emotion until in a safe space, and decompress through soothing recovery activity.
Al-Anon Joke of the Month
|
Concept TenService responsibility is balanced by carefully defined service authority and double-headed management is avoided.
|
From the Archives
|
|
I wanted to share this lovely booklet from 1958, published by the Detroit Area Al-Anon Council, titled Al-Anon: An Interpretation of Our Twelve Steps. I tried reaching out to them but cannot find the “Detroit Area Al-Anon Council,” only the “Michigan AFG,” which includes Detroit. One thing that was shared by their archives coordinator was, “The Detroit Al-Anon Office had printed materials for years. Lois W. told us to stop! We did. Only WSO can print materials, which are Conference Approved Materials.” This intrigued me immensely, but my further inquiries were not replied to.
While this booklet does go through the 12 Steps of Al-Anon, as the title says, it also has a lot of other cool stuff. Note: this was written prior to the definition and existence of CAL.
First, on page 3, it has "The Four Facts," which this booklet will use while going through each step. Aside: the first question of #1 is "What is wrong with your life?" which made me laugh at first because it reminded me of something my dad would have said if he were mad at me for watching TV all day as a kid. Also, it is an important question to ask myself, if not out of date.
While this booklet does go through the 12 Steps of Al-Anon, as the title says, it also has a lot of other cool stuff. Note: this was written prior to the definition and existence of CAL.
First, on page 3, it has "The Four Facts," which this booklet will use while going through each step. Aside: the first question of #1 is "What is wrong with your life?" which made me laugh at first because it reminded me of something my dad would have said if he were mad at me for watching TV all day as a kid. Also, it is an important question to ask myself, if not out of date.
|
|
Next, this book divides the 12 Steps into 4 Phases, implying the steps are either not in order or there might be a better way of grouping them. I'm not familiar with these grouping choices, so I don't know how this will work for me. For instance, when we get to Phase 3, it goes through Steps 4, 8, 9, and 10, referring to them as “Inventory”.
I like this because it provides a brief overview of the steps without getting too wordy. It also has sayings, phrases, and poems scattered about that are related. For instance:
I like this because it provides a brief overview of the steps without getting too wordy. It also has sayings, phrases, and poems scattered about that are related. For instance:
|
|
I would like to have included more pictures, as I felt this 24-page booklet had something interesting on every page. I hope you found it interesting too. If you would like to see more of this booklet, please reach out to archives@seattle-al-anon.org, so that it can be shared individually.
One last thing, the very back cover is damaged due to it being glued to something, probably a scrapbook of some kind. If anyone knows how to remove old glue from the paper without damaging it, please write to me with some help: archives@seattle-al-anon.org.
One last thing, the very back cover is damaged due to it being glued to something, probably a scrapbook of some kind. If anyone knows how to remove old glue from the paper without damaging it, please write to me with some help: archives@seattle-al-anon.org.
|
Order the Forum Magazine Al-Anon’s monthly magazine features timely sharings from Al-Anon and Alateen members, suggested meeting topics, and the latest information on worldwide Al-Anon recovery. Experience and insight you won’t find anywhere else! |
September 2022 AIS Council Meeting Minutes (Summary)
Opened at 7:30 with Serenity Prayer
Attendance: 19 attendees
Reports
Chair: Going to Fall Assembly to sell books. Talked with our WA Area Delegate who is on the
WSO Literature committee regarding WSO’s eBook decisions to remind them of the impact on LDCs.
Secretary: Helen Moved to accept the August Minutes as amended. Seconded by Mary. Motion passed.
Has begun recording Motions into one Council file for 2022.
Treasurer: Please see financial reports. We had $600 net revenue in the past month. Donations and
sales were up thanks to the Gratitude Garden Party.
Vice Chair: SRPM (Standing Rules and Procedures Manual) will be presented in October
Phones: No report
LDC: Prices have been updated. Inventory was completed for the first time in 3 years, we have a surplus
stock! Courage To Change is back in stock at the WSO and reordered.
Communications: All service positions which include Meeting Directory Editor, BITS Newsletter Editor,
Events Editor and Web Editor, are filled!
Alateen: We had two people sign up for AMIAS service at the Gratitude Garden Party.
Old Business: Gratitude Garden Party has garnered much positive feedback including a wish for this to
become an annual event. The sales at the bookstore were phenomenal. In addition to the Alateen new
volunteers there was 1 for the Office and 2 for the Phones. All Pilgrim’s did not charge us for the space.
Motion, by Helen V.: We donate $50 to All Pilgrims Church. Seconded by Mariann. Motion passed
unanimously.
New Business: None
Announcements:
Respectfully submitted by Elizabeth G, Secretary
Attendance: 19 attendees
Reports
Chair: Going to Fall Assembly to sell books. Talked with our WA Area Delegate who is on the
WSO Literature committee regarding WSO’s eBook decisions to remind them of the impact on LDCs.
Secretary: Helen Moved to accept the August Minutes as amended. Seconded by Mary. Motion passed.
Has begun recording Motions into one Council file for 2022.
Treasurer: Please see financial reports. We had $600 net revenue in the past month. Donations and
sales were up thanks to the Gratitude Garden Party.
Vice Chair: SRPM (Standing Rules and Procedures Manual) will be presented in October
Phones: No report
LDC: Prices have been updated. Inventory was completed for the first time in 3 years, we have a surplus
stock! Courage To Change is back in stock at the WSO and reordered.
Communications: All service positions which include Meeting Directory Editor, BITS Newsletter Editor,
Events Editor and Web Editor, are filled!
Alateen: We had two people sign up for AMIAS service at the Gratitude Garden Party.
Old Business: Gratitude Garden Party has garnered much positive feedback including a wish for this to
become an annual event. The sales at the bookstore were phenomenal. In addition to the Alateen new
volunteers there was 1 for the Office and 2 for the Phones. All Pilgrim’s did not charge us for the space.
Motion, by Helen V.: We donate $50 to All Pilgrims Church. Seconded by Mariann. Motion passed
unanimously.
New Business: None
Announcements:
- WA Area Speaker Convention 2022 October 21-22, Puget Sound Community College, Lacey WA
- Please read the Standing Rules and Procedures Manual before the October Council Meeting 10/13/22
Respectfully submitted by Elizabeth G, Secretary
Thank you for your donations and your support of AIS!
Our funding now comes primarily from:
*Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
*Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations, to:
Seattle AIS
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
Donate Now
Our funding now comes primarily from:
*Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
*Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations, to:
Seattle AIS
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
Donate Now
And More ...
|
MEETING SCHEDULE: registered Al-Anon groups in the Greater Seattle Area. All virtual and in-person meetings are listed.
Please visit our Members section for the most up-to-date information on:
|
Meeting NewsMeeting Changes Reported during September
Complete details at: https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/meetings.html/ 
|