The Agony and Ecstasy of Sobriety |
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There have been small windows of time where the alcoholic was sober. Within a few days the physical and cognitive improvements were quite remarkable. The core person that was submerged under the liquid toxin, began to resurface. The emotional volatility mellowed to some extent. There was a semblance of rationality. The fullness of their personality and wit were present for a brief interlude.
I could feel a tenuous hope rising within me. Maybe? Is it possible that they may make the choice to live their life differently? Will they give up the familiar enveloping darkness for the unknown light of recovery? I don’t think there is anything more agonizing than to watch someone you love disappear back into the abyss of disease and addiction, once again.
I believe that prolonged denial is the deadliest of defense mechanisms … whether it is the alcoholic, or the one that loves the alcoholic. I am still stunned by the extent of self-induced blindness that is required to refute realities that exist in plain view. The trashed front end of a vehicle and immense insurance premiums. The slurred speech and impaired cognition. The medical report that spells out “alcoholism” or AUD. The uneven gait, and periodic falls. The broken promises and well-oiled deceptions.
I was raised in a chaotic dysfunctional environment, surrounded by alcoholics and self-absorbed caregivers. These traumatizing family dynamics were hidden behind beautiful exteriors. All I knew as a child and teenager was that I longed for my parents to be healthy, and for them to love and protect us. I prayed for the verbal and physical abuse to stop. I wished it could be like those fleeting moments of happiness, where everyone was content, and allowed to be themselves.
Many years into my recovery, within the “rooms”, I discovered I was “emotionally intoxicated” and “addicted to excitement!” It took numerous failed relationships, with me constantly chasing after love and friendship. Vying for a “hit” of attention from an unavailable cheating partner. Working in bars where fights broke out and the atmosphere was unpredictable. Remaining in friendships where I was betrayed and exploited. It took the extreme pain of realizing I was the common denominator in the mix. The suffering caused by this ingrained cycle finally broke through the haze of my denial. I was trying to “fix” my alcoholic family through repeated maladaptive experiences.
I am no longer attracted to mayhem. Emotional sobriety gives me a better foundation for navigating life.
“We examine our role in the family disease not to blame ourselves, but rather to deepen our understanding and compassion for those parts of ourselves we want to change.” (Opening Our Hearts, Transforming Our Losses) https://al-anon.org/blog/opening-hearts-transforming-losses
I could feel a tenuous hope rising within me. Maybe? Is it possible that they may make the choice to live their life differently? Will they give up the familiar enveloping darkness for the unknown light of recovery? I don’t think there is anything more agonizing than to watch someone you love disappear back into the abyss of disease and addiction, once again.
I believe that prolonged denial is the deadliest of defense mechanisms … whether it is the alcoholic, or the one that loves the alcoholic. I am still stunned by the extent of self-induced blindness that is required to refute realities that exist in plain view. The trashed front end of a vehicle and immense insurance premiums. The slurred speech and impaired cognition. The medical report that spells out “alcoholism” or AUD. The uneven gait, and periodic falls. The broken promises and well-oiled deceptions.
I was raised in a chaotic dysfunctional environment, surrounded by alcoholics and self-absorbed caregivers. These traumatizing family dynamics were hidden behind beautiful exteriors. All I knew as a child and teenager was that I longed for my parents to be healthy, and for them to love and protect us. I prayed for the verbal and physical abuse to stop. I wished it could be like those fleeting moments of happiness, where everyone was content, and allowed to be themselves.
Many years into my recovery, within the “rooms”, I discovered I was “emotionally intoxicated” and “addicted to excitement!” It took numerous failed relationships, with me constantly chasing after love and friendship. Vying for a “hit” of attention from an unavailable cheating partner. Working in bars where fights broke out and the atmosphere was unpredictable. Remaining in friendships where I was betrayed and exploited. It took the extreme pain of realizing I was the common denominator in the mix. The suffering caused by this ingrained cycle finally broke through the haze of my denial. I was trying to “fix” my alcoholic family through repeated maladaptive experiences.
I am no longer attracted to mayhem. Emotional sobriety gives me a better foundation for navigating life.
“We examine our role in the family disease not to blame ourselves, but rather to deepen our understanding and compassion for those parts of ourselves we want to change.” (Opening Our Hearts, Transforming Our Losses) https://al-anon.org/blog/opening-hearts-transforming-losses
Ice Cream Social Reflections
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Has Your Meeting Changed?
Changes and Updates are made Weekly. (Seattle AIS is automatically cc'd in the change request) If you have any questions or concerns regarding the Seattle AIS updated meeting schedule, please contact meetingdirectoryeditor@seattle-al-anon.org 
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Mattie from Magnolia asks:
I’ve heard people in meetings refer to something they called Al-Anon Slogans. What are they? And when can they be used? Clif H (Newsletter Associate) responds: There are many slogans (a brief, striking or memorable phrase) adopted by Al-Anon. I use them to trigger my thoughts in a way that allows me to refocus on positive aspects of my thinking about a situation. My goal is always to direct myself away from ‘stinkin thinkin’ while dealing with a difficult situation and to head myself back toward serenity. Below are a small sampling of the slogans I use as I practice my program.
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“What Seattle AIS Is … and Isn’t” Workshop –
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Everyone is invited and welcome! Bring your questions!
AIS’s (Al-Anon Information Services), like ours for the Greater Seattle area, are created to make it easier for centrally located Districts (D14-D22 for us) to communicate and share information to our members and newcomers. The most used tool and example is the one Seattle AIS website that includes all the meetings in Districts 14-22 versus each of the nine districts having to develop and maintain their own meeting directory and website. |
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Seattle AIS does not do everything for everyone however. We are just one of the Al-Anon Service Arms to support members and Al-Anon Family Groups. As Concept 10 states: “Service responsibility is balanced by carefully defined service authority and double-headed management is avoided.” Personally, my understanding of the service structure is clarified when I learn what AIS does not do. I guess it isn’t just me because at the May workshop, a couple members asked to hear what we don’t do. (Preview: AIS doesn’t register Groups, that is the Area’s responsibility.)
Outreach is another major support service that we will be able to do this year with your generous donations. I saw members taking advantage of the free pamphlets at the Ice Cream Social to use for their local neighborhood outreach.
Please come to the virtual workshop and learn what AIS does to support our community, our Groups and our members. Wednesday, September 20th, 7:00-9:00 pm.
Any questions, email chair@seattle-al-anon.org
Outreach is another major support service that we will be able to do this year with your generous donations. I saw members taking advantage of the free pamphlets at the Ice Cream Social to use for their local neighborhood outreach.
Please come to the virtual workshop and learn what AIS does to support our community, our Groups and our members. Wednesday, September 20th, 7:00-9:00 pm.
Any questions, email chair@seattle-al-anon.org
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Step Nine Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
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Tradition NineOur groups, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
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AIS Council Meeting
The next Council meeting is Thursday, September 14th, 2023, 7:30-9:00 pm. Click the AIS website 2023 Calendar link on the Events page (https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/events) for the zoom information. AIS Board MeetingThursday, October 19th, 2023 at 7:00-8:30 pm. Check the AIS website calendar (https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/events) for the zoom link. Concept NineGood personal leadership at all service levels is a necessity. In the field of world service the Board of Trustees assumes the primary leadership.
Need a Free Newcomer Packet?Anyone local to Seattle who is a newcomer and wants an individual newcomer packet (or in Spanish, too!), please send an email to outreach@seattle-al-anon.org with the name and mailing address. |
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The Al-Anon Declaration
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In the daily reading from Courage to Change, September 23rd, I found a new way to look at the declaration. The story is about a person who always responded to unkindness from others with a like unkindness. They watched an Al-Anon friend respond to a rude clerk with unflagging kindness and questioned them.
“Doesn’t Al-Anon tell us that we don’t have to accept unacceptable behavior?”
The friend replied “... she doesn’t have to permit them to goad her into lowering her own standards for herself.”
I suddenly realized that “let it begin with me” included my responses to other people’s behavior and not just to carrying the Al-Anon message. If I am to grow and change into the person I want to be then I have to learn to live the loving kindness that the program recommends.
I have often thought, “I want what they have” be it a clear understanding of the program, serenity in the face of chaos, or simply a kind and loving attitude. My first step in getting what they have is simply deciding to let it begin with me.
“Doesn’t Al-Anon tell us that we don’t have to accept unacceptable behavior?”
The friend replied “... she doesn’t have to permit them to goad her into lowering her own standards for herself.”
I suddenly realized that “let it begin with me” included my responses to other people’s behavior and not just to carrying the Al-Anon message. If I am to grow and change into the person I want to be then I have to learn to live the loving kindness that the program recommends.
I have often thought, “I want what they have” be it a clear understanding of the program, serenity in the face of chaos, or simply a kind and loving attitude. My first step in getting what they have is simply deciding to let it begin with me.
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Order the Forum Magazine Al-Anon’s monthly magazine features timely sharings from Al-Anon and Alateen members, suggested meeting topics, and the latest information on worldwide Al-Anon recovery. Experience and insight you won’t find anywhere else! |
August 2023 AIS Council Meeting Minutes (Summary, not yet approved)
Meeting Opened at 7:30 PM with the Serenity Prayer
Attendance: 16 individuals
Introductions: all
Readings: Concept 8 by Pierre
Secretary: Kathy K: Reading of the July Minutes. Approval of July minutes.
Chair: Dave M, Vice Chair: AWSC held Aug 5th 2023-Karen attended and Seattle groups were well represented. The Fall Assembly will be in person. Further questions regarding the petition for a hybrid meeting fall assembly should go to the DRs to avoid double headed management.
A motion was passed on PEM that will be forwarded to the Fall Assembly to vote. Address any questions to your DR.
Treasurer: Gary H: Financial reports: Seattle AIS remains financially stable, as they work toward achieving the accepted Ample Reserve.
Vice Chair Report: Dave M: August Open House Report: Lots of people came and were engaged in fellowship with some literature sold. The new daily reader is sold out and should be back in stock by September but WSO is out of stock. He is sending thank-you notes to groups and individuals who are donating.
Coordinators:
Outreach: Solveig W: She continues to answer emails and send out Newcomer packets. Decisions still need to be made on any upcoming advertising campaign. She has discussed with Karen L. ideas for more local campaigns with the idea of AIS funding more outreach that individual groups may want to pursue.
Communications: Jackie T: Everything is going well.
LDC: Mary R: There is a new volunteer for shipping starting in Sept. They have sold 4 cases of the new reader but are now sold out. New shipments expected in Sept. as WSO is sold out.
Phones: Dave M (outgoing Coordinator): It was a very quiet month. There were 60 calls in July with 44 being Al-Anon related. He has been checking calls on the weekend. The texting feature is very useful. There are no new volunteers but the phones are very quiet. Dave will continue until Dec. 2023 as Phone coordinator unless someone steps up sooner. A new coordinator is needed.
Tech: Pierre J: Please contact him if help is needed.
Old Business: Need phone coordinator. Ice Cream Social Sun Aug. 20, 2:00-5:00 PM at the AIS office. Planning is smooth at this point.
New Business: none
Seventh Tradition: https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/donationinfo.html
Next Council Meeting: Thursday, September 14, 2023 from 7:30-9:00 PM
Next Board Meeting: Thursday, October 19th, 2023 at 7:00 PM
Adjournment: Al-Anon/Alateen Declaration at 8:21 PM
Submitted by Kathy K, Secretary
Attendance: 16 individuals
Introductions: all
Readings: Concept 8 by Pierre
Secretary: Kathy K: Reading of the July Minutes. Approval of July minutes.
Chair: Dave M, Vice Chair: AWSC held Aug 5th 2023-Karen attended and Seattle groups were well represented. The Fall Assembly will be in person. Further questions regarding the petition for a hybrid meeting fall assembly should go to the DRs to avoid double headed management.
A motion was passed on PEM that will be forwarded to the Fall Assembly to vote. Address any questions to your DR.
Treasurer: Gary H: Financial reports: Seattle AIS remains financially stable, as they work toward achieving the accepted Ample Reserve.
Vice Chair Report: Dave M: August Open House Report: Lots of people came and were engaged in fellowship with some literature sold. The new daily reader is sold out and should be back in stock by September but WSO is out of stock. He is sending thank-you notes to groups and individuals who are donating.
Coordinators:
Outreach: Solveig W: She continues to answer emails and send out Newcomer packets. Decisions still need to be made on any upcoming advertising campaign. She has discussed with Karen L. ideas for more local campaigns with the idea of AIS funding more outreach that individual groups may want to pursue.
Communications: Jackie T: Everything is going well.
LDC: Mary R: There is a new volunteer for shipping starting in Sept. They have sold 4 cases of the new reader but are now sold out. New shipments expected in Sept. as WSO is sold out.
Phones: Dave M (outgoing Coordinator): It was a very quiet month. There were 60 calls in July with 44 being Al-Anon related. He has been checking calls on the weekend. The texting feature is very useful. There are no new volunteers but the phones are very quiet. Dave will continue until Dec. 2023 as Phone coordinator unless someone steps up sooner. A new coordinator is needed.
Tech: Pierre J: Please contact him if help is needed.
Old Business: Need phone coordinator. Ice Cream Social Sun Aug. 20, 2:00-5:00 PM at the AIS office. Planning is smooth at this point.
New Business: none
Seventh Tradition: https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/donationinfo.html
Next Council Meeting: Thursday, September 14, 2023 from 7:30-9:00 PM
Next Board Meeting: Thursday, October 19th, 2023 at 7:00 PM
Adjournment: Al-Anon/Alateen Declaration at 8:21 PM
Submitted by Kathy K, Secretary
Thank you for your donations and your support of AIS!
Our funding now comes primarily from:
*Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
*Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations, to:
Seattle AIS
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
Donate Now
Our funding now comes primarily from:
*Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
*Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations, to:
Seattle AIS
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
Donate Now
And More ...
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MEETING SCHEDULE: registered Al-Anon groups in the Greater Seattle Area. Hybrid, Concurrent, and in-person meetings are listed.
Please visit our Members section for the most up-to-date information on:
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Meeting NewsNews from the Meeting Directory Editor
The following changes were made from August 1 through August 30. • Sunday, 8:30 AM, Sunday AM Fresh Start AFG, Changed to concurrent meetings (Zoom and in person) {7/31} • Saturday, 10:00 AM, Saturday Morning AFG, This meeting will be in-person only on August 19th, returning to Zoom after {8/5} • Monday, 10:30 AM, Monday Morning Jump Start, This meeting is now in-person only {8/8} Best, Wren B Seattle Al-Anon Information Service Meeting Directory Editor |